Opinions - I'm not attention seeking.

iluvponyz
iluvponyz Posts: 32
in Health and Weight Loss
So - I'm 5'5 and 147Ibs. I'm fairly muscled (I have 3 horses that I ride everyday so I'm going to be heavier than people with less muscle? )
After growing up being told I am over weight I have successfully lost a stone and a half in the last 18months. I just want people's opinions on how much more I need to lose? I've not had a boyfriend nor do I think guys are attracted to me so obviously I need to lose around another stone? But I've been consuming net calories of 1200-1400 a day at riding for at least one hour a day. Weekend it's three hours a day and I have dressage and show jumpers so its not a plodding walk its hard work.
I am not attention seeking I just want people's general opinions - I am hoping that when I get to the right weight I won't have such a negative opinion of my self.
All good / bad I won't fall into depression - I just want honest opinions !!
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Replies

  • tbrain1989
    tbrain1989 Posts: 280 Member
    everyone on here will tell you to eat more,

    to me, it sounds like your doing the right things.

    dont forget muscle is heavier then fat, so weight might not be the answer, try the measurement route?

    I cant believe guys wouldnt be attracted to you though? that shouldnt be your motivator, you need to do this for you.

    in my opinion if someone only wants you for your body then they arent worth the time of day.

    Looks fade (including body) personality is permanent :)

    good luck, feel free to add me if you want some support
  • juleszephyr
    juleszephyr Posts: 442 Member
    Well if you want an honest opinion 147 is within your BMI for your height so technically you don't need to loose any more weight. If you do that much riding (as an ex rider myself and still having the muscle tone to prove it) you will be carrying more muscle than the average person of your height.

    Therefore I would say that your issues are more to do with self esteem and body image. I looked at your profile pic and it looks to me like you have a great body.

    I would just stick where you are and work on your self esteem issues rather then the arbitrary number on the scales.
  • iluvponyz
    iluvponyz Posts: 32
    Hi I've done one of the measurement ones for sports people and I was on the border of fitness to average
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
    10 stone 7 doesn't seem bad, but your photography skills need some work ;-)
  • drefaw
    drefaw Posts: 739
    is that you in your swimsuit pic?
  • iluvponyz
    iluvponyz Posts: 32
    Yes that is me in the picture but I have chaned the main pic now.
  • aliann30
    aliann30 Posts: 291 Member
    I would just stick where you are and work on your self esteem issues rather then the arbitrary number on the scales.

    This. Work on becoming stronger on the inside and out and don't look to others for validation. It will never change your image of yourself, because no matter how perfect your body is you'll always have some who will reject you. Work on being happy with yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • ellepribro
    ellepribro Posts: 226 Member
    I've not had a boyfriend nor do I think guys are attracted to me so obviously I need to lose around another stone?

    To say that guys not being attracted to you means you need to lose weight is a bit absurd. Find someone who like you for you and not what you look like. People are attracted to all different kinds of people..not just thin, healthy ones..
    I can't tell you that you need to lose x number of pounds. Everyone is different. There is no magic number. Listen to your body. Eat good foods, stay active, be healthy. The number on the scale doesn't matter as much as you think.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    You have all the right equipment to be attractive to guys, it's not about the weight. You look quite healthy at the weight you are at. I would recommend setting some other goals instead of weight loss, fitness goals, and work towards those. Eat at a small deficit, not cutting calories too much.
  • roxylola
    roxylola Posts: 540 Member
    As a rider myself, yes it is physical activity but you will get stronger and fitter by actually working out - I mix cardio with weights and find I get better results quicker with this than I would do riding all day every day. Like you I do not just bobble along for a walk. It is genuinely hard work and a great core strengthener but if you want to change your shape you need to be using some weights for that.

    Even the top event riders do a lot more fitness work than just riding (swimming, running etc) Just look at how many fat middle aged men are showjumping!
  • drefaw
    drefaw Posts: 739
    Yes that is me in the picture but I have chaned the main pic now.

    Well, imo, you are looking pretty damn fit/healthy right now......that's just my opinion .....
  • shutupandlift13
    shutupandlift13 Posts: 727 Member
    Eat at maintenance, lift heavy things, do a little cardio if you feel like it, your riding will probably suffice. This will help with composition changes.

    As far as the self image goes, that's way more of a mental battle than a physical one. Start viewing yourself in terms of the awesome things you can do and have accomplished, start setting task oriented goals and stop judging your progress by an arbitrary number, but if you have to do that, use BF% rather than the weight on the scale.

    You look pretty fit from your pictures, lifting will probably help increase your strength for riding as well as change your body composition which I think is more the results you're aiming for rather than just straight weightloss on the scale.
  • VeganGlasgow27
    VeganGlasgow27 Posts: 12 Member
    Having looked at your bikini photo, the fact that you think you should lose another stone is VERY worrying. It's genuinely something you should speak to a doctor, or even better, a therapist about. Your self-esteem shouldn't be based on potential boyfriends either.

    You're physically healthy - don't waste it.
  • sandylion
    sandylion Posts: 451 Member
    I hope you realize there is not a magic number that makes men attracted to you...

    You do NOT need to loose anymore weight, you look great and very fit. Chances are you just haven't met the right guy yet and weight has nothing to do with it. If you are on the border of average and fitness, that it pretty awesome. Stop trying to loose, start eating more, and work on loving yourself. If you don't love yourself, it makes it very hard for someone else to love you.
  • shutupandlift13
    shutupandlift13 Posts: 727 Member
    I've not had a boyfriend nor do I think guys are attracted to me so obviously I need to lose around another stone?

    And this... needs to stop. Just because you haven't had a boyfriend doesn't mean men aren't attracted to you. Stop letting whether or not men are attracted to you dictate how you feel about yourself. They can't see the number on the scale, what they can see and will appreciate, at least the right ones will, is a healthy, confident, strong woman.

    Get your head right and the rest will follow.
  • iluvponyz
    iluvponyz Posts: 32
    Thanks guys. It's just really difficult when you have a negative view o your self. The person I see my self as is different to the one looking back in the mirror. When I leave the house and look in the mirror I think yeah I look ok but if I see my reflection when I'm out and about I wish I hadn't worn what I wore
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    I've not had a boyfriend nor do I think guys are attracted to me so obviously I need to lose around another stone?

    This is not a good indicator. I attracted lots of guys and married one of them when I weighed more than you do now with my smaller 5'4" frame. You'll have to look at other factors for attracting guys than your weight I'm afraid especially since you look pretty darn hot in that bikini.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    As a rider myself, yes it is physical activity but you will get stronger and fitter by actually working out - I mix cardio with weights and find I get better results quicker with this than I would do riding all day every day. Like you I do not just bobble along for a walk. It is genuinely hard work and a great core strengthener but if you want to change your shape you need to be using some weights for that.

    Even the top event riders do a lot more fitness work than just riding (swimming, running etc) Just look at how many fat middle aged men are showjumping!

    +1 to this

    There was a period of about five years when I had no less than four horses of my own to ride and show. In addition to working them, I used to help train the lesson horses, get other student's mounts cleaned and tacked then cleaned and cooled down after, and exercise whatever other horse needed it when the trainer didn't need to or want to do it.

    I was better toned than someone who's sedentary, but didn't hold a candle to anyone in more active sports or who worked out. Riding is more about balance and timing and building a relationship with your mount than strength.
  • husseycd
    husseycd Posts: 814 Member
    Riding that much and all the work associated with it, you probably can (and should) eat a little more. I'm your height, currently weigh 132lbs and eat 1800+ calories/day. I don't ride anymore, but I used to--combined training as well. I also used to run a barn and train multiple horses. I guarantee you're burning way more calories than I am at my current desk job and aerial arts hobby.

    You might just try eating at TDEE for a week and then bump back into deficit. That's my next step. Having so little to lose makes it a bit more challenging.

    I don't see the bikini picture (just the jumper pic), but I understand how self-image can be tied strongly to weight, even if you're a normal weight for your height. I came here at 138 lbs and pretty muscular as well, but I'm happiest closer to 130 lbs. If you really want to be a little lighter, go for it, but you shouldn't have to starve to get there. And as long as you aren't hurting yourself trying to get to a weight/size that will make you feel more confident, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I do agree with others, don't lose weight to attract a man and be careful being too self-critical it becomes detrimental.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    147 is a healthy weight for someone 5'5", especially for someone with a healthy BF%, which I assume you have if you have a good deal of muscle and based on your pic in the swimsuit. You look really good.

    If you want to lose a few more pounds, then do so. But don't do it to get a boyfriend. Just be confident in who you are. Confidence is very appealing.
  • iluvponyz
    iluvponyz Posts: 32
    Thankyou for all your comments. I think I need to tone up a bit and work
    On my self esteem c
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    So - I'm 5'5 and 147Ibs. I'm fairly muscled (I have 3 horses that I ride everyday so I'm going to be heavier than people with less muscle? )
    After growing up being told I am over weight I have successfully lost a stone and a half in the last 18months. I just want people's opinions on how much more I need to lose? I've not had a boyfriend nor do I think guys are attracted to me so obviously I need to lose around another stone? But I've been consuming net calories of 1200-1400 a day at riding for at least one hour a day. Weekend it's three hours a day and I have dressage and show jumpers so its not a plodding walk its hard work.
    I am not attention seeking I just want people's general opinions - I am hoping that when I get to the right weight I won't have such a negative opinion of my self.
    All good / bad I won't fall into depression - I just want honest opinions !!

    I think, if you want to lose another stone/14 lbs because YOU feel you need to that's fine. I would caution against losing it because you don't think guys are attracted to you. Be confident in who you are and what you want out of life.
  • iluvponyz
    iluvponyz Posts: 32
    I was just looking for opinions from people who don't know me and are sympathetic. I wanted to know how much weight people think that I have to lose x
  • iluvponyz
    iluvponyz Posts: 32
    I mean are NOT sympathetic
  • FFfitgirl
    FFfitgirl Posts: 369 Member
    In your pic of yu in a bikini. I think you look good!
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
    You look great. It could be a confidence thing or you are too picky with guys. It's always difficult to truly answer this question unless you ask someone who knows you.
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    If the pic in your profile of a lady in a two piece is you, than your weight has nothing to do with your lack of boyfriends.
  • monica2410
    monica2410 Posts: 124 Member
    You look fab! Now start believing it yourself:flowerforyou:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Stop assuming that you not having a boyfriend is related to your weight. There are lots of overweight people in relationships. It could be that you give an impression of simply not being interested. It has nothing to do with how much or little you weigh.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Whether you lose another stone or gain another stone, if you have that attitude that you aren't good enough, lack confidence and such - you aren't going to feel any better about yourself or your situation. It's a bit insulting (and I'm sure you didn't mean to be) that you insinuate that the only way to get into a good relationship is to be thinner.

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