Sharing this to feel better....

charlieandcarol

I just want to share this here in order to feel the emotion, see it for what it is and move on rather than over reacting and going and eating my body weight in junk food to try to feel better.

So today there was a little morning tea gathering in my academic department because someone was leaving. I am standing there chatting with people and feeling really good about not being tempted by all the cakes etc there and just enjoying conversation with people I don't necessarily get to chat to a lot.

This older academic comes up and starts talking to me and I realise that he has mistaken me for someone else. Eventually he realises he thought I was this other past student who is recently back for a visit. He says her name and then apologises and is half way through saying "I am not sure why I mistook you for her" when he wanders off embarrassed.

The reason he was embarassed and the reason I am now embarassed/upset is that the past student is morbidly obese and I was the fattest female in the room (I am also obese and none of my fellow female students are overweight) so he assumed I was her.

Half of me says, this is a reminder that you need to lose weight, use it as motivation. The other half says I want to cry, I feel like I am always getting squashed down again, just when I start to not hate myself. I am not sure which half will come out on top....

Thanks for reading.

crb426

**hugs**

Stay strong. You got this! Just think in a year or so you might be the thinnest woman in the room. You will always find people who say the wrong thing, and it makes you take a hard look at things you know you already feel sensitive about. It's understandable to be hurt and embarrassed, but stick with the plan, and this will all be in the past.

jennifer_417

The thing about liking yourself is that, eventually, you have to learn to do so despite external pressures. Someday you will look back on this moment, and it will feel very different than it does right now. In the meantime, just hang in there and don't let it cause you to make bar choices. Posting this here was a great step forward, however it turns out, and I'm proud of you for it!

nutmegoreo

Is it possible that this student actually looks like you? Many times people say things without really thinking and very rarely mean to be rude or insulting. Can you chose to believe that this whole interaction was completely unintentional?

Keep feeling good about the progress you are making. Be proud of your successes, but realize that others may not notice your success, or celebrate it with you. I think that your reaction may be a bit of an overreaction. To be honest, I see a lot of who I used to be in your post.

Karihappy

I know how much that hurts. I've had too many instances to even relate to you here, but I'll tell you a few. I was walking one day and an older lady asked if I was expecting a rose. I had no idea what she was talking about. She said, "Back in my day, when we were expecting a baby, we said we were expecting a rose." When I told her I wasn't pregnant, she shut right up and ran back into her house. I also had some lady at a new job come ask when I was expecting. I wished I had a quick mind to have a good comeback, but, no, all I felt was defeated and depressed, just like you do now. I also got mistaken quite a bit for a coworker who was obese. I always got a little upset about that, but then tried to make the most of it by accepting that I always thought the other coworker was a beautiful lady even if overweight. Even after all those things (and many more), I continued to eat out of control for many years. I have recently (just since July 29th of this year) gotten serious and started tracking and exercising and have managed to lose 23.5 pounds since then. You can do it, too! Keep your chin up and know that you are a beautiful person inside and out and that will radiate to others also. Best of luck to you.

charlieandcarol

Thanks for your thoughts. I don't think any of it was intentional on the old guys part, he ended up nearly as embarrassed as I was. I just wanted to process how I felt about the situation. I guess its the same as when you mistake someone with long blonde hair for another person with long blonde hair...you have a mental association of a trait with a particular person. The only common thing I have with the other person is being of a similar age and being obese which is much more embarrassing for all than a mistake over hair colour.

I will get over it I am sure.