Nobody has commented on my weight loss!
Losingthedamnweight
Posts: 535 Member
And I don't really care. I wasn't losing weight to get compliments or for anybody to notice. I did it for me. But after losing about 60 lbs, it's just odd that nobody has even mentioned it for a second. No coworkers. Family. Not even my girlfriend has said word one about it. I like that nobody has said anything because I don't like extra attention, but it's just so unexpected!
Anybody else experience this odd feeling when nobody mentions your weight loss? It's almost hard to describe.
Anybody else experience this odd feeling when nobody mentions your weight loss? It's almost hard to describe.
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Yes, Ive experienced similar, but not to the degree you have.
Congratulations by the way, 60lbs is awesome.
Ive lost 35lbs and the only person who mentions it, is my wife and my friend at work.. My wife actually gets pretty annoyed about it as well, as she see it as a major change. Like you though, I dont really care, Im doing it for me (and my missus I suppose)0 -
they are jealous.0
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Bring it up in conversation "When I started this weight loss", "Can't believe I've lost 60lbs"
people don't know whether to mention / not mention
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I got two theories from personal experience.
1.
Hard to determine from your profile, but if you are built like me, sometimes it is tough to tell. I lost 50 lbs and not much was said from the people around me. When they finally caught on most said, you know " I noticed but I never really saw you as overweight before!". Apparently I "put the weight on well", and because I was built pretty thick, had a larger frame, they never saw me as "fat" but rather "solid and stocky"
60 lbs is a lot of weight, congrats. I know how awesome it feels so no frets, probably people notice but take it as a compliment that in their eyes "you always looked pretty good anyway".
2.
This is the weird thing for me. To this day, I still get the odd comment "holy cow, have you lost weight?". This from people I see everyday. I lost my weight about 2 years ago. Sometimes people are so used to seeing you, it takes the right shirt, or new pants, or lighting for them to notice that you have changed.
I'm hoping its one of the two above, either that or you are surrounded by self-centered jerks who are to into themselves to notice
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Sometimes it's so gradual that people who see you daily don't notice. I've had comments from people who haven't seen me in months, or when I buy smaller clothes because they fit me much better and show how much smaller I've become. I haven't gotten a lot of comments from those I work with, but my husband has noticed but then again he knew I was logging and counting because we live together. I'm surprised your girlfriend hasn't noticed because you would obviously be eating differently (and I would think stopping to log on your phone, etc or something). Also I can't help being happy and mentioning the loss to my husband at least- I don't mention it at work unless someone asks. Then I'll get the "holy crap you've lost weight" from those that I haven't seen in a few months. I don't like the attention either- I just smile and say "yeah I have" and change the subject.0
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First of all, congratulations on your progress
Weight is a very, very personal thing. There was a colleague of mine who I hadn't seen in the office in around 2 months - he was on annual leave. When he came back in, his weight had so clearly decreased and in my opinion, quite drastically! I was inwardly taken aback at his weight loss but I didn't say anything out of politeness. I don't like people mentioning things about my weight, I find it uncomfortable even if they are paying me a compliment on my loss - so I extend the same to others, this colleague included. If he was to make introduce the topic himself, I would most certainly have congratulated and complimented him on his fantastic achievement but truthfully, some people just don't want to talk about it and I'm very aware of that fact.
In this instance, said colleague actually suffered a family bereavement and his drastic weight loss was a result of grief, depression and total lack of appetite. Had I have commented upon his 'changed appearance', I could have offended him.
This is just one reason why people keep quiet about pointing these things out to people ^^
Of course, there could be other factors at play - jealousy may WELL be one of them. People don't like pointing out other peoples achievements if they are secretly wishing they were in your shoes.
Well done regardless 0 -
dramaqueen45 wrote: »Sometimes it's so gradual that people who see you daily don't notice. I've had comments from people who haven't seen me in months
^This
I just saw one aunt today who noticed immediately! I hadn't seen her since end of last year. Most people around me don't notice and some are even incredulous when I mention it (might have lost 25 lbs so far). I am nowhere near 60+ though so for me it's understandable.
You might bring it up with your girlfriend though and see what she says. A few people mentionned the 'no comment' thing in the "what nobody told you about losing weight" thread and how they dealt with it0 -
This is just my thoughts on myself, but I've been a serial dieter for so long that after a while I think my people just stopped commenting. It's like they just got accustomed to me occasionally being bigger/smaller as the norm. I think I've destroyed the shock factor of having lost weight.
I'm sorry no one has acknowledged your efforts even though you're good with it. You've done awesome! Congratulations!0 -
PinkPixiexox wrote: »In this instance, said colleague actually suffered a family bereavement and his drastic weight loss was a result of grief, depression and total lack of appetite. Had I have commented upon his 'changed appearance', I could have offended him.
This too. I lost 40lbs during my separation/divorce. One woman kept bugging me about my weight loss and was dying to know how I did it. I finally got fed up and said "I got a divorce" and that shut her up.
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I have also lost 60 lbs and it took that long and a new outfit before anyone said anything. I am have a hour glass shape so I pretty much look the same only smaller because I loose proportionality. It's even hard for me to tell the difference! I felt kinda bad because even though I knew I'd lost weight, I kinda wanted some affirmations, but felt like if weight loss came up because I brought it up that any positive comments would just be polite pandering... I don't know, it is a weird feeling though...0
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Super congrats on your loss though!
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PinkPixiexox wrote: »In this instance, said colleague actually suffered a family bereavement and his drastic weight loss was a result of grief, depression and total lack of appetite. Had I have commented upon his 'changed appearance', I could have offended him.
This too. I lost 40lbs during my separation/divorce. One woman kept bugging me about my weight loss and was dying to know how I did it. I finally got fed up and said "I got a divorce" and that shut her up.
Yeah my hairdresser lost a lot from the "divorce diet"- just too upset to eat. My husband also has lost when he is feeling particularly stressed. He can't eat much when he has a lot of anxiety and will lose weight.0 -
Yeah I wonder if they don't want to do it because they think you'll gain it back or something... I honestly don't know, but I lost 80 pounds and most people didn't comment on it. Nobody in my husband's family did (I hadn't seen them in over a year at the time too so I was basically 80 pounds lighter than the last time they saw me).0
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PinkPixiexox wrote: »In this instance, said colleague actually suffered a family bereavement and his drastic weight loss was a result of grief, depression and total lack of appetite. Had I have commented upon his 'changed appearance', I could have offended him.
This too. I lost 40lbs during my separation/divorce. One woman kept bugging me about my weight loss and was dying to know how I did it. I finally got fed up and said "I got a divorce" and that shut her up.
I would have loved to see the look on her face!0 -
Hi there, congrats on losing the weight! It take a lot of hard work and dedication so its really inspiring!
I had a similar issue to yours last year when I lost some weight. When people see you everyday it is harder for them to notice the changes - however people who only saw me once per week or month noticed.
People are also sometimes not sure what the correct etiquette is - mentioning weight loss means that they are admitting that you were not in very good shape before. Also, women will chat to each other about diets and weight much more easily - we are just like that. Men are not so good at talking about that stuff because they consider it a girl thing (guys are always taking about muscle gains - Shelley rolls her eyes)0 -
It's like the "elephant not in the room" issue.
Some really good possibles ITT. Only way to know which one is to ask.0 -
It happened to me too. I thought it was weird esp at work. I got over it.
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I generally can't comment unless I know the person quite well. Now I wish there was a way to find out if people are talking about your weight loss! I can think of three people off the top of my head who have undergone drastic weight loss at work. Didn't say anything to any of them, but commented about them to others. Like, WHOA0
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I never comment on other people's weight change IRL, up or down. The most I might say is something like "You're looking good. How's life treating you lately?"0
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I'm only 4'10" and have lost 22 pounds. So it certainly should be noticeable. The only person who has commented is my sister-in-law (who I consider one of my best friends and is about my size). Nobody else seems to have noticed at all. I prefer to think of it as a good thing -- that I didn't look that bad before.
I also tend to be the type who thinks it's kind of rude to comment on anyone's personal appearance, even if it's something that you'd think most people would take as a compliment. So . . all kidding aside, I'm really perfectly fine with no comments.0 -
KANGOOJUMPS wrote: »they are jealous.
I don't know if I agree with this.
In my experience, people who are jealous are less likely to keep silent, and more likely to make snarky/negative comments, either directed at the person (i.e., saying they're "no fun anymore" because they don't stuff themselves at happy hour like they used to) or at the method of weight loss ("counting calories? How tedious/obsessive/crazy!").0 -
Count your blessings and credit your louder than life personality that overshadows your physique. No comments at all IMO are easier to deal with than unsolicited comments/advice.0
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In my case, I don't tend to notice when people gain or lose weight, unless they were extremely at one end of the scale or the other to begin with. I honestly don't pay much attention to people's size, so if someone is 75 lbs overweight and they lose 15 lbs, I'm not even going to notice.
If I know someone is trying to gain or lose, because we're close enough that they've told me that, then I do pay more attention and will compliment them on their success. But if someone I don't know well has lost weight, I'll refrain from mentioning it at all. It could be that they worked hard to lose the weight, or it could be they're dealing with something negative in their life which causes them not to eat much. Or, it could be that they're very ill, and the weight loss isn't something to be celebrated.
When it comes to myself, I really don't want people making comments about my body, unless they know I've been trying to lose weight. I think enough people know that enough people are uncomfortable, even with nice comments, that they'll refrain from making a comment. If you're comfortable with the comments and welcome them, I think you need to take the lead and bring up your weight loss, so people know that it's okay to talk about.0 -
OP - if you don't care about it then why did you start a thread complaining about the thing that you don't care about????0
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MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »
so you want to have a semantical debate about curiosity vs complaining….?0 -
MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »
so you want to have a semantical debate about curiosity vs complaining….?
I meant "doesn't"/sorry!0 -
dramaqueen45 wrote: »PinkPixiexox wrote: »In this instance, said colleague actually suffered a family bereavement and his drastic weight loss was a result of grief, depression and total lack of appetite. Had I have commented upon his 'changed appearance', I could have offended him.
This too. I lost 40lbs during my separation/divorce. One woman kept bugging me about my weight loss and was dying to know how I did it. I finally got fed up and said "I got a divorce" and that shut her up.
Yeah my hairdresser lost a lot from the "divorce diet"- just too upset to eat. My husband also has lost when he is feeling particularly stressed. He can't eat much when he has a lot of anxiety and will lose weight.
I lost the first 20 pounds in less than three months because I was going through a very stressful time in my life and was so anxious I was barely eating. I didn't mind when people commented on my weight loss, but I felt very uncomfortable when they asked how I lost the weight, because I didn't want to admit how it happened.
If I know someone is working to lose weight and notice a difference in their appearance, I will comment on it. But if I don't know them well or don't know if they lost the weight intentionally, I don't typically say anything because, as others have mentioned, it could be a medical or mental reason.0 -
Losingthedamnweight wrote: »And I don't really care. I wasn't losing weight to get compliments or for anybody to notice. I did it for me. But after losing about 60 lbs, it's just odd that nobody has even mentioned it for a second. No coworkers. Family. Not even my girlfriend has said word one about it. I like that nobody has said anything because I don't like extra attention, but it's just so unexpected!
Anybody else experience this odd feeling when nobody mentions your weight loss? It's almost hard to describe.
Believe me, I often think it's more respectful to not say anything about weight loss. I have had people not mention it before, especially colleagues and coworkers, but then again it's not appropriate to mention weight in the workplace. Outside of work, some people don't mention it either, and that's fine.
However, if someone does mention it, I accept the compliment and keep it short so we don't go into conversation about weight issues.0 -
@KANGOOJUMPS, so are you saying every single person who does not comment on one's weight loss is jealous? That's very black and white and probably not what is really going on. Some people don't comment on other's weight loss for a variety of reasons. The green monster usually rears it's head in words, not silence.0
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