do you consider this process to be healthy for your kids?

TheRunningGuppy

I think my boys seeing me making the changes I'm making is a good thing for them. My older son (9) has asked me why I am trying to lose weight, and how I got fat. I told him I made some bad choices in regards to food earlier in my life, and I want to be a good example to him and his brother. So I'm working on eating right. My son has started making better choices since he sees me making them. I have to encourage him to eat more protein (something I struggle with too) and he goes on bike rides and walks with me.
So I think, it's a good thing for them. Hopefully they'll learn from my mistakes, and be healthier people.

taiyola

diet pop is not poison. In my opinion, that type of talk undermines your credibility as a parent and as an adult.

When I found out that the stories my parents told were fiction, I then dismissed everything they told me as questionable.

You may dislike diet pop, you may choose not to stock your home with it. But calling it poison is a lie. Don't lie to your kids, or yourself.

we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

Are you saying that soda/pop is 'poison'? :noway: I had lemonade today and I am still alive!

You sound very obsessive, and I would advocate that everything is fine in moderation, but that some foods don't provide you with as much nutrients. Coming from someone who had eating disorders from the age of 8 which was caused by my mother, you should probably relax some.

MelissaL582

I would have to say both as well. My children are good motivators too. Some days when I want to just sit down, they're constantly bugging me to take them outside or ask me why haven't I worked out yet. There will be days they will join me on my workouts. However, my 8 year old will lift up his shirt and ask if he's fat or how many calories has he eaten. I've had to explain to him that he's "right" where he should be for his age and height. I've also had to tell him that mommy hasn't taken really good care of her body and I'm trying to get to the "right" place. I've brought in a variety of foods for my family to try. They like the idea and are willing to try new meals. I'm not going to say I'm very anal about what's in my home, we sometimes buy the occasional chocolate chip cookies or I'll bake a cake. I want my kids to have some sweet but understand not to go over board with it.

etoiles_argentees

something I posted a while back -

TOPIC: Food rules for your kids? Tue 08/14/12 02:45 PM
I'm not a parent but I liked this article.


Things Parents And Grandparents Say That Can Cause Eating & Weight Problems
Article Date: 12 May 2011 - 8:00 PDT


Parents can sometimes forget that they are raising adults, not children. The goal is to equip kids with the skills and increasing responsibility for managing their lives without constant vigilance, according to Michelle May, M.D., author, board-certified family physician, and expert for TOPS Club, Inc. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), the nonprofit weight-loss support organization.

One key life skill is the ability to navigate an abundant food environment while maintaining optimal health. Here are seven things that well-meaning parents commonly say that may have unintended consequences - and what to say instead:

1. You are such a good eater! - Children want nothing more than to please their parents. While mealtime should be a pleasant time to connect with your children, eating should remain intrinsically driven to meet your child's fuel needs, NOT to earn your praise.

What you could say instead: You must have been really hungry today! Or, I love spending time with you while we have dinner.


2. You are such a picky eater! - All children (and adults) have some foods that they just don't like. Some children are highly taste and/or texture sensitive, but most will outgrow it. Picky eating becomes an entrenched behavior when we berate, beg, bribe - or worse, feed kids only what they say they'll eat.

What you could say instead: I know you didn't like it last time; tell me what you think about it today after you have one polite bite. Or, Did you know your taste buds grow up just like you do? I wonder if you like this big kid food yet?


3. Clean your plate; there are starving children in . - Avoid teaching children scarcity eating behaviors in our plentiful food environment.

What you could say instead: It's important to not be wasteful, so please only take as much as you think you need. Or, If you're full, we can save the rest for later.


4. You have to eat all your vegetables or there will be no dessert. - Kids are smart. When you bribe them for eating certain foods, they quickly realize that those foods must be yucky and that dessert is the reward. They also learn to hold out until a reward is offered.

What you could say instead: I love all kinds of different foods - some that make me healthy and strong and some that are just for fun. What kinds of foods do you like? Or, Enjoy your dinner. We'll be having dessert in a couple hours.


5. Eat all your dinner or you don't get dessert. - This variation on the threat above translates to "you must overeat and I will reward you by giving you more to eat!" Children naturally love sweet foods, so they can learn to override their fullness signals. As an adult, they might be temped to order a 1,200-calorie salad to "earn" a 1,200-calorie piece of cheesecake.

What you could say instead: Save room for dessert tonight!


6. I was so bad at lunch today! Now I have to spend an extra hour on the treadmill. - Children are born to move. They naturally love exploring their environment, challenging themselves, and playing actively. Unfortunately, the messages they get from adults teach them that exercise is punishment for eating.

What you could say instead: I ate more than I needed and now I feel too full and uncomfortable. I think a walk would make me feel better. Want to join me? Or, anybody up for a bike ride?


7. I am so gross and fat! Or, I can't believe has let herself go! - Kids learn from us even when we think they aren't listening. Statements like this teach kids that it's okay to put yourself and others down and judge people for their weight or other physical attributes. Perhaps they also secretly wonder what you really think about them.

What you could say instead: I'm not perfect, but I do my best to make healthy choices.


And whatever else you say, remember to say often... I love you just the way you are.

Source:
TOPS Club Inc. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)

ChristinaR720

Yes, but with regard to being healthy, eating mindfully, and being active. I think it's important to be a healthy role model for your kids, but you need to be careful to not teach them things like a particular food item being "bad" for them or that someone is "fat" and therefore, less than. The last thing you want to do is contribute to them developing a negative relationship with their bodies or with food. I never talk weight with my kids.

Maggie_Pie1

I don't think it's a negative effect on your kids - at least the checking the labels and making decisions about what to eat or not eat. I think those are all positives.

The only thing that might be negative is any reference to weight. But talking about the nutritional value of foods and making them conscience about it at an early age is a good thing, IMO.

megsi474

It's healthy for my kids because it's not a diet. I'm not talking about losing weight or being skinny. My kids are seeing me cook healthfully and at home, they're appreciating the occasional treat as such (and so am I) and they're seeing me get stronger through exercise which translates into more energy for them. I don't feel like I'm holding myself to a different standard- I'm not skipping meals or lamenting this food or that as something I "can't" have. I'm seeing food and fuel differently and truly trying to embrace everything in moderation since that's what I tell them and it's the best advice I can think of for someone to needs to fuel their bodies for change. It's just up and outward for them and a little bit inward for me on the change front.

highmaintnance

I don't talk about weight with my daughter ever. We do talk about healthy and not so healthy foods. She will tell you that pizza is ok to eat sometimes. The only time I kind of cringe is when she tells someone that what they're eating isn't very healthy but is ok to eat sometimes. She's right, but she's 5 and doesn't understand tact and minding her own business yet. I'm trying to raise my child to make good decisions, enjoy the occasional treats and be active.

In my opinion, someone would be going too far if they are talking about weight with their child. For instance, saying you can't eat that, it will make you fat, or you need to lose weight or it's important to be skinny or a size whatever. That, to me, is setting them up to have issues such as eating disorders.

momzeeee

What I do is totally separate from what my family does-they eat as they always have/frequency of meals. My kids have no idea what the word 'diet' even means and they have no clue that mom has lost almost 50lbs since last fall, because I haven't made a big deal about it. I do not bash any kind of food in front of my kids, because I don't believe there is any such thing (even though I recently discovered that I'm sensitive to wheat, I prepare stuff with wheat every day for my family, not a big deal). My kids are thin (below average on the chart for weight/height), and they eat a mix of foods-from fast food on a weekly basis to fruit for snacks. In a nutshell, my family eats SAD with the three meal/several snack format and that works great for them. I now eat a primal leaning diet with a 2 meal/no snacking 8:16 IF format and that works great for me. It hasn't been hard at all doing it this way and it's working great for us!

wineplease

Soda is poison.

Don't lie to your kids. Just tell them soda has lots of sugar and other ingredients that don't make it healthy if consumed in large quantities. But, don't tell them it's poison.

rowanwood

I absolutely think its a positive thing in you and your child's life. I have a 4 and 6 year old, I don't ever talk about being fat or unhappy with any part of my body, I don't weight myself or talk about weight with them, we talk about healthy food choices, how it makes you big and strong, how food can keep your teeth and bones strong, my 6 year old is always asking me about food, what's good and what's not, I love teaching them about the healthy lifestyle we live.

This is the "process" I'm doing too. It's not about neglecting myself or abusing myself or making chocolate bars naughty or bad or evil or poison.

I was eating thousands of calories of junk a day and it made me fatter than I wanted to be. I am eating a reasonable amount now of better food choices, still allowing for treats. I NEVER talk about what I "can't" have, just what I choose not to on occasion. If I don't get to my "goal" weight, I will never stand around and tell myself or my child I'm terrible. Sometimes, my brain offers that and I tell it to shut the heck up.

wineplease

We discuss why diet pop is poison, we have a rule about soda not being an I'm thirsty drink, but a treat, etc.

Wait....poison is a treat for your kids? I think you and I differ on the definition of the word poison. Or maybe on the word treat.

kgerm317

I am a single mother of twin 6 year old boys. They have seen my journey from the beginning. When they ask me why I get up early to work out, it's because I want to be healthier. When they ask me why I'm not having ice cream with them after dinner, I tell them that I am full from dinner and that dessert is not something we need to eat to be strong and healthy. I told them once that I was sick of being fat. They looked at me like I had six heads and one of them said "you aren't fat mommy, you're beautiful". I thanked him, hugged and kissed him. Then I told him "You're right, baby. Mommy's not fat. But she doesn't always make the healthy choice and she wants to try to make better choices" He related to that much better and while I still have negative thoughts about myself sometimes, I keep them to myself. I no longer talk negatively about myself, as I know that I do not like when someone I love talks negatively about themself.

When we grocery shop, I ask them to help me pick out healthy foods that they like. They LOVE all fruits and vegetables so it isn't hard. We don't buy a lot of cereal or packaged foods because I try to keep it clean as best as I can. They enjoy helping me bake or cook meals and that gives me an opportunity to discuss with them the benefits of the foods we eat. We talk about protein and fiber and fats and sugars. I don't deprive them of "treats"- we still drive thru McDonald's for a happy meal from time to time. They may not fully understand what I'm telling them, but I am honest and teaching my children valuable information to help them fuel their bodies properly.

I LOVE the Dear Mum letter, by the way. Thanks for sharing that!

amylb0822

I have always been overweight ... all my life.

My Mom and Dad sad nothing to us kids about good food or bad food or even about exercise or healthy habits. As with a lot of things that most parents might teach there kids, my parents didn't teach us any of that stuff.

The effect was that I didn't grow up knowing those things. I ate what I wanted and how much I wanted. i wasn't active and those habits stuck with me.

I chose to be a different type of Mom to my daughter. She has always known healthy food, and has always been involved in activities like gymnastics and swimming. She is thin, graceful and healthy and has an awesome self image! I am teaching her to cook now and teaching her meal plannign and kitchen skills (she is 11) .

My point I guess is that moderation is the key. Teach kids what they need to know about these subjects. Exhibit good habits and positive behaviors. They will need to know how to eat healthy for their lives.... but not to the point of it becoming obsessive.

cwolfman13

Soda is poison.

Don't lie to your kids. Just tell them soda has lots of sugar and other ingredients that don't make it healthy if consumed in large quantities. But, don't tell them it's poison.

This...don't teach your kids to have a bad relationship with food. A little soda from time to time isn't killing anyone...drinking several 32 oz big gulps daily is another story...but I'm pretty sure that's explainable without food shaming.

todayis4me

My decision to start exercising and eating healthier started when I got on the scale and realized I was 285 pounds. A few weeks later my husband who is diagnosed with MS suffered a heart attack at the age of 35 while my nine year old son watched. The fact that since then our family has collectively made better healthier food choices has actually helped my son feel better about what happened. I have been very open with him. He knows exactly what changes I have made in order to lose weight and why it was/is so important. We discuss healthy portions, calories, fat content etc. He knows the difference between everyday foods our body needs and ok treats for occasion. Nothing is off limits. He knows mom has lost 101 pounds. He was happy to report to me the day he hugged me and his arms could go all the way around. I was shocked when his bus driver saw me in the store and told me how proud my son is of me. He has heard his father and I always confess our love for one another. Even better he heard my husband explain to me when I complained that he did not act excited about my new shape and size......that he always loved me not my shape or size. So yes I think this has been a very healthy process for my whole family. As with everything it is all in the communication.

cmriverside

diet pop is not poison. In my opinion, that type of talk undermines your credibility as a parent and as an adult.

When I found out that the stories my parents told were fiction, I then dismissed everything they told me as questionable.

You may dislike diet pop, you may choose not to stock your home with it. But calling it poison is a lie. Don't lie to your kids, or yourself.

This is absolutely how I feel about that.

Diet soda isn't "poison."

I stopped believing my mom when she told me that if I used tampons my future husband wouldn't believe I was a virgin. I read the box. Mom = liar. I think I was 11.

greentart

This is going to come from a very personal place.

My mom is and was a very loving person. Loving of everyone but herself. I grew up with the constant stream of she was gaining weight, she needed to exercise more, she needed to eat less, she needed to lose weight. It wasn't fun. It was not a healthy thing to grow up with.
I now have body issues, and I really can't blame anyone but myself. However, my mother's attitude toward herself has not in any way made me a healthier person. If anything, it's a detriment to my own growth and learning, because from such a young age I was taught that SIZE was important, not health.

You can teach your children to be healthy, without giving them food or body issues. Right now, with what you're doing... I would stop. Teach them moderation. Teach them about fresh fruits and veggies and good meats. Teach them to love themselves. To be strong and healthy. Teach them that exercise is good and fun, not a punishment.

So, to answer your question directly, no... it's not healthy for your kids. Or my kids. Or anyone's kids. And yes, it DOES have an effect on them, and normally its a bad one.

etoiles_argentees

This is going to come from a very personal place.

My mom is and was a very loving person. Loving of everyone but herself. I grew up with the constant stream of she was gaining weight, she needed to exercise more, she needed to eat less, she needed to lose weight. It wasn't fun. It was not a healthy thing to grow up with.
I now have body issues, and I really can't blame anyone but myself. However, my mother's attitude toward herself has not in any way made me a healthier person. If anything, it's a detriment to my own growth and learning, because from such a young age I was taught that SIZE was important, not health.

You can teach your children to be healthy, without giving them food or body issues. Right now, with what you're doing... I would stop. Teach them moderation. Teach them about fresh fruits and veggies and good meats. Teach them to love themselves. To be strong and healthy. Teach them that exercise is good and fun, not a punishment.

So, to answer your question directly, no... it's not healthy for your kids. Or my kids. Or anyone's kids. And yes, it DOES have an effect on them, and normally its a bad one.

This. Several studies indicate that young children are more likely to become overweight later in life when their parents restricted them from "junk" food. A few years back researchers showed a study of almost 15000 boys and girls between 9 and 17 over 3 years. The kids "dieting" in the sample gained much more weight than the nondieters and were more likely to engage in binge eating.I believe it was a study done by Harvard and Stanford, directed by by Alison Field and Austin?

Cheeky_0102

diet pop is not poison. In my opinion, that type of talk undermines your credibility as a parent and as an adult.

When I found out that the stories my parents told were fiction, I then dismissed everything they told me as questionable.

You may dislike diet pop, you may choose not to stock your home with it. But calling it poison is a lie. Don't lie to your kids, or yourself.

we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

Are you saying that soda/pop is 'poison'? :noway: I had lemonade today and I am still alive!

You sound very obsessive, and I would advocate that everything is fine in moderation, but that some foods don't provide you with as much nutrients. Coming from someone who had eating disorders from the age of 8 which was caused by my mother, you should probably relax some.

Pop, lemonade, ice tea, etc are not poison. Aspertame is not food, and causes damage to your body and brain, therefore they are poison. Just because it doesn't kill you today (or ever) doesn't make it not poison. Take carbon monoxide. We are all exposed to it every day in varying amounts, most of us won't die of carbon monoxide poisoning, but it is dangerous (i know people who HAVE died of carbon monoxide posoning) and is a poison.

I don't need to argue this farther, since it's on the clean/macros debate, and i don't really care. As far as I'm concerned with kids, aspertame is a NEVER food, like cocaine. Just don't go there. If they feel the need to rebel against me with diet coke, i'll just have to chuckle.