Stuck

Mersie1

Hi all! I'm in the
Murky somewhat early stages of recovery from an eating disorder. As I have wafted between long periods of great restriction (anorexia) and intermittent binges while trying to restrict, I use MFP as a tool to help me stay in the middle. However, I have maintains a weight that is slightly above average for my height. I hate it, but in doing it, although many times in spite of myself. My question is how do I balance the peace and sense of control that comes from logging my food and the feeling that I'm sometimes controlled by it. It's as though I sometimes need a break from eating mindfully and being aware of everything I'm eating. When I do take such breaks, it feels like I overeat which then sends my mind down the road of undereating the next day!! I'm much better at focusing on one day at a time, but it's hard to lose the use that I want to drop "a few lbs!!" Any suggestions greatly appreciated!

queenliz99

Are you seeing a therapist?

Mersie1

Therapist and nutrionist, but only once a month now as that's all I can afford. This has come up w her. I think I'm just looking for all of the advice I can get. She agrees it is a diff balance. I want to be healthy, but not too rigid!! I am a very black and white person, all or nothing. Trying hard to be happy w the grey area. Especially difficult as my husband is extremely focused on his not gaining a pound. Gets pissy if he misses a workout- very rigid! Says it's just him being healthy. Yet when I'm that way, it's me being eating disordered!