What's the "netiquette" behind deleting friends?

kathrynjean_

I'd like to pose a question: What do you do when some people on your MFP friends list seem like absolutely fab people, but also appear to have disordered eating tendencies?

I've been in recovery for quite some time now, and while I'm hesitant to use the word "triggered" - seeing some of the things that are posted set off a lot of alarm bells for me.

I know that I need to prioritize my own health, and if people are posting things that make me uncomfortable, it's more than okay for me to distance myself from that. But do I send a concerned message? Do I just delete them?

There's no right answer to this at all, but I'm curious to know what you have or would do. Also from the perspective of the person being deleted, how do you think you'd react or respond?

Just curious and interested to hear your thoughts.

VegasFit

I don't think I would notice if someone deleted me but for your own health if their post are a red flag to you, delete them.

RodaRose

I go through different phases about deleting or not and this is going to vary from person to person because we are not all here for exactly the same reason.
If anything ( anything at all) is getting in the way of your success, make a change.
Delete. No concerned message.
(It is not like FB where I am actually related to someone or a work colleague with them and let them stay as friends for a little while. )

Triplestep

You can hide people from your feed if you'd rather avoid the drama; after hiding them, you just stop seeing their posts on your newsfeed. Granted, this is kind of a cowardly way out. If you feel that she would benefit from an explanation, then you might consider writing her privately. I "ghosted" someone by hiding their profile and decided an explanation probably wouldn't be well received. After a few days, they turned around and deleted me as a friend, only they took the time to explain why. So there are all different reasons and at least two ways to do it (deleting and hiding, with or without explanation). There's no shame in not clicking with someone.

MFP's instructions for hiding friends are here

rainbowbow

just delete.

dont message, comment, or anything. in the future, don't add people like that.

MelodyandBarbells

If someone stresses me out, I weigh this against any benefits from having them on my list. If the benefits aren't good enough, delete. A lot of times they have tonnnnnns of friends so it's not like they'd miss me anyway

earlnabby

Just delete anyone who is not adding to your experience in a positive way. I have deleted people for all kinds of reasons. Only one PM'ed me to find out why. When I explained that I did not like that all of her posts were links to her Facebook page, she seemed to understand.

kathrynjean_

Thanks everyone. This is one of those situations where I knew what was best but needed to hear it from someone else (or six)!

Hope you all have a great night.

dramaqueen45

I delete for two reasons- if they are constantly trying to sell me something (some people use MFP as a place to get others to join their pyramid for things like 21 day fix etc) or like the other day when I deleted someone who was asking for people to send clothes and money because she was waiting on her disability hearing and was running out of clothes because she was losing weight, had no money to pay for shipping of clothes, etc. Really? I haven't had anyone who had disordered eating in my opinion but I don't have tendencies toward so if I see it I might just give my opinion and move on (actually I did have someone who was posting about their mono-diet)- which is not good for you. I don't want drama on my feed, sales pitches or negative people- and I too will just delete. It's not like facebook where you may be related to or know the people.