125 Pounds to Lose

LeviJGoff1995

Hello, my name is Jacob, and I would like to share my story today.

I have been diagnosed with dual-disorder from being addicted to sugar and caffeine and having bipolar disorder. It all started when I was very young and given a lot of candy for Halloween; instead of listening to my mother and only having 3 pieces of candy, I built up a tolerance by having a sugar rush for the first time by eating all of the candy; long story short, I should have listened to both of my mothers with diabetes, and I have been in the fore stages of diabetes 2 or three times tops already.

I am a typical healthy 20 year old, gender non-conforming (agender) person who does not identify with the male and female (binary) system of gender because for me, it is a little more complex than that; as a person who is labeled, "transgender," with the diagnosis of, "gender identity disorder," I have found myself getting a lot of disrespect from people during the duration of my entire life; long story short, I ran to sugary sweets and caffeine filled soda and became obese (do not be afraid to call me, "fat," just be respectful in the tone you're using it in for context.

At the peak of my obesity, I was 300 pounds, and I am ashamed of it; I have not come a long way because of my mental issues, and I am trying to fix them before I go to a gym; it takes a lot of commitment and motivation to get me out there in my community to let people look at my fat self, and they stare at me sometimes; do you guys know what that is like?

After consulting with my mothers' family nutritionist, I realized that portion control is hard, but it is possible; instead of getting seconds of meat, or starches, my moms only make double the vegetables in case I am hungry; mom and ma (mom is the stepmom, ma is my biological mom) have been forcing me to comply for the sake of keeping me alive, but when I am depressed, I don't care, and when I am manic, I pay too much attention to other things and forget to eat. Being diagnosed with ED-NOS is horrible: not only do you look funny to other people, people stare at me in awe when I do not eat, and when I do eat, they're surprised that the entire plate is gone while others are still getting theirs.

To all of you struggling out there, I encourage you sincerely from my heart to eat enough, and to eat every meal; if you don't, you will end up overweight like me from the binge and restrict method of maintaining your weight, or however you're gaining the weight, and it's hard to overcome without a treatment team. I truly encourage you if you are in fact suffering from an eating disorder, to go out into the world and seek help however it will come to you effectively. I suggest a therapist/counselor/social worker, and a psychiatrist/doctor's help.

Please take care of yourselves before you end up in as bad of a situation as I am; I am paying the price now; it's not fun paying the price, and I am trying to prevent anybody else from making the same stupid mistakes I made.

-Love, Jacob L. Goff-