Other half not a happy bunny

michaelhornby365

Good afternoon. U.K. Dad who started on this weight lost path, about a month ago.
Has a wife who's not happy and trying to make sure I fail and stay the size I was.
Anyone else have this going on in there life.
Trying to stay positive as best I can buy starting to eat away at me if you know what I mean.
So looking for some positive people to help and support,
Thanks

Lizzy622

I think my husband thought I was going to leave him or have an affair or something like that if I lost weight. Reassure her that you love her and you are doing this so you can have more happy years with her.

amyk0202

I'm sorry to hear that. I think reassuring her is a good idea. You can do it without her support though. I have a husband & 5 kids in the house. I am the only one who watches what I eat. Just make sure you have quick things on hand that will fit in your calorie goals for the day--canned veggies & frozen chicken breasts are quick back-ups. That way you don't have to change her life & routines to stay on track yourself. If she sees that you are committed to becoming more healthy, still committed to her, are not trying to change her, then maybe she'll be more accepting.

sheermomentum

Why do you say that? What is she actually doing or saying? From your profile, it looks as if you have only a few pounds that you want to lose, so it seems like that wouldn't be too dramatic a change for her.

jenathp

I too took the strategy of making dinners as normal as possible for the family. This way they aren't impacted by my weight loss challenge. It helps make the transition easier for everyone when their lives aren't disrupted by the changes we're trying to make. Remember, we're doing this for us so it's only fair that we keep the disruption to them at a minimum.

Rachel0778

jenathp wrote: »

I too took the strategy of making dinners as normal as possible for the family. This way they aren't impacted by my weight loss challenge. It helps make the transition easier for everyone when their lives aren't disrupted by the changes we're trying to make. Remember, we're doing this for us so it's only fair that we keep the disruption to them at a minimum.

I definitely agree. I honestly haven't even told anyone about my weight loss intentions. Since I'm not drastically altering my intake (just eating less of what I was previously eating), it doesn't stand out as different and I don't have to worry about people's support, or lack thereof. Luckily MyFitnessPal has such an active community that I can get my support here online and not have to mention it to people IRL, especially if I'm concerned about their reactions.

I'm sorry to hear your significant other isn't being supportive. My recommendation is to not mention your weight loss intentions again and go along as normally as possible while making small intake changes that add up over time. Since you've told her your intentions you're not hiding anything, and this way you don't have to rock the boat unnecessarily while still accomplishing your personal goals.

Lounmoun

michaelhornby365 wrote: »

Good afternoon. U.K. Dad who started on this weight lost path, about a month ago.
Has a wife who's not happy and trying to make sure I fail and stay the size I was.
Anyone else have this going on in there life.
Trying to stay positive as best I can buy starting to eat away at me if you know what I mean.
So looking for some positive people to help and support,
Thanks

It looks like you are not trying to lose a lot of weight so I wouldn't think your size would change too much. There is probably something else going on.

I would talk to her about your goals and why she is not happy with you losing weight.

Maybe she doesn't understand or feels you are doing something unhealthy. Maybe she feels left behind. Maybe she feels jealous. Maybe she feels judged or annoyed if you suddenly reject food she makes/likes, constantly exercise or make weight related comments. I don't know what you are doing or not doing but some people can get preachy attitudes when they decide on a big "healthy lifestyle" change or expect their partner to do everything they do and that can cause some relationship friction.

michaelhornby365

Well trying to reply to each both not sure how. I'm doing this for my kids so I can see them grow.
I tale my wife everyday that I love her and am not looking for anyone else.
That I'm doing this for myself.
Have all ways been big even at school.
I'm about 14 .4 stone and about 19% body fat now.
I'm doing this so when summer come I don't fill ashamed to be topless.
Something I have never done in public..
Lot of this come down to how I want to fill about myself.
I try to include my wife in meals and do not expect to eat the same.
But happy to include her in everything.
When I go to the gym I am called every 10 mins to the point The phone went off.
When out running it's the same.
was all ways the same, when you coming home and where are you.
I have started going to the gym at 5 am before work, so my wife is asleep and I can work out.
At night I put the kids to bed and make dinner and while its cooking I go running.
Leaving the wife to watch the soaps.
She told me she want to keep me fat as that how she like me.
I want to be healthy for my kids as my dad having an heart attack has scared me to the point, I had to run to clear my mind.

cafeaulait7

Ah! You'll just have to let her know it's not gonna happen, imho.

If you want to lose a few lbs and spend some time exercising, it's completely reasonable, so I'd just tell her that's how it's going to go. I'd try not to sound angry about it and just be plain and matter-of-fact, yet firm. I have a really bossy person in my life, not a partner, but I have to be vocal about where he ends and I begin that way, lol. If something is reasonable, have no guilt about it and just do you No real apologies, no arguments, just go for it.

DavPul

Y IZ SHE TRYNA SABOTAGE U?

RodaRose

michaelhornby365 wrote: »

Well trying to reply to each both not sure how. I'm doing this for my kids so I can see them grow.
I tale my wife everyday that I love her and am not looking for anyone else.
That I'm doing this for myself.
Have all ways been big even at school.
I'm about 14 .4 stone and about 19% body fat now.
I'm doing this so when summer come I don't fill ashamed to be topless.
Something I have never done in public..
Lot of this come down to how I want to fill about myself.
I try to include my wife in meals and do not expect to eat the same.
But happy to include her in everything.
When I go to the gym I am called every 10 mins to the point The phone went off.
When out running it's the same.
was all ways the same, when you coming home and where are you.
I have started going to the gym at 5 am before work, so my wife is asleep and I can work out.
At night I put the kids to bed and make dinner and while its cooking I go running.
Leaving the wife to watch the soaps.
She told me she want to keep me fat as that how she like me.
I want to be healthy for my kids as my dad having an heart attack has scared me to the point, I had to run to clear my mind.

Well that stinks but it is helpful to know that she actually said that.
How old are the kids and how many? She might be overwhelmed and therefore anxious. Does she get enough restful sleep? The help she is getting with the children and with keeping the place clean might not feel like enough for her if she is feeling worn out.

dawniemate

If you don't mind me asking has your wife got weight issues? Maybe she feels jealous you are doing something about getting fit. Could you do things together to get fit? Long walks in the park with the kids etc.....

michaelhornby365

We have all ways been big I started the year at 20 stone.. So could be that reason.
The wife used to go walking with her mates all the time. But a big fall out with them stop that..
Have said we can have 3 day each I have the kids and she does so we can do something or go out together but no luck..