My boss asked me out at the Xmas party?

f1tness4life

Hi,

So my boss asked me out at the Xmas party, he was drunk. He said he loved looking into my eyes and spending time with me and my smile lit up the room blah blah blah. He's married with 2 children. his wife works at the company too but their marriage is pretty much over no that it matters. Im completely devastated because I loved my job but now i feel like i just have to leave because i feel so so so uncomfortable. Can't talk to HR as she is the biggest gossip in the company and it will get reported to his wife who is more senior.

I'm back to work tomorrow and i just don't want to be there.

I told him no at the time, said he needs someone his own age and I'm not interested. I have witnesses too. Just hate it.

He also joined my gym a while back so now i feel like i need to change gyms!!! hating life!! Help!

GreenGoddess22

My life is soooooo boring compared to others!

If he was drunk he may not even know what he did. I'd ignore it, but I'm a pretty laid back person.

Alatariel75

Ugggggghhh yeah that's really awkward. I know I'd feel the same way as you (like I have to leave), even though logically you should not have to leave at all! I HATE when people do stupid things like that and make things weird.

musclegood_fatbad

Well that doesn't sound like a fun situation at all.

katnroyal1987

f1tness4life wrote: »

Hi,

So my boss asked me out at the Xmas party, he was drunk. He said he loved looking into my eyes and spending time with me and my smile lit up the room blah blah blah. He's married with 2 children. his wife works at the company too but their marriage is pretty much over no that it matters. Im completely devastated because I loved my job but now i feel like i just have to leave because i feel so so so uncomfortable. Can't talk to HR as she is the biggest gossip in the company and it will get reported to his wife who is more senior.

I'm back to work tomorrow and i just don't want to be there.

I told him no at the time, said he needs someone his own age and I'm not interested. I have witnesses too. Just hate it.

He also joined my gym a while back so now i feel like i need to change gyms!!! hating life!! Help!

f1tness4life wrote: »

Hi,

So my boss asked me out at the Xmas party, he was drunk. He said he loved looking into my eyes and spending time with me and my smile lit up the room blah blah blah. He's married with 2 children. his wife works at the company too but their marriage is pretty much over no that it matters. Im completely devastated because I loved my job but now i feel like i just have to leave because i feel so so so uncomfortable. Can't talk to HR as she is the biggest gossip in the company and it will get reported to his wife who is more senior.

I'm back to work tomorrow and i just don't want to be there.

I told him no at the time, said he needs someone his own age and I'm not interested. I have witnesses too. Just hate it.

He also joined my gym a while back so now i feel like i need to change gyms!!! hating life!! Help!

Go through the appropriate channels. Don't let him win when you did nothing wrong.

katnroyal1987

And who cares about the gym

Rachel0778

I am so sorry to hear that happened to you! Being sexually harassed at work by a drunk manager is not okay on so many different levels, and it is even worse that you don't feel that you have recourse through the HR department.

If you love your job and don't want anything to change, you can definitely try to see if it blows over. If it doesn't or you still feel uncomfortable, document everything and talk with HR (document your conversation with her as well). If she gossips or gets you fired and does not address your concerns you have a lot of ammo for a larger recourse against the company itself.

dcaiani

First you do need to talk to HR even though they may be a gossip hound. You should at least get it on record that it happened. You don’t necessarily need to pursue it in any way but just to have it on record in case anything happens later. Have your witnesses document it also. He now knows that you have no interest in him, so any additional advances should be considered harassment (if you report it to HR). If your company has a decent set of policies & procedures, any additional unwanted advances should get him fired and not you. If it gets to the point that he’s treating you unfairly you should seek the advice of a lawyer.

Jruzer

Report it to HR even if she is a gossip. Document the meeting. Then consider lawyering up.

Sorry this happened to you. He sounds like a gem.

TheRoadDog

I don't predict a great outcome. You should probably report it, but that will create an uncomfortable work place.

You can let it go and hope it was the alcohol talking and that he might not even remember it.

In either case, you might want to update your Resume.

Sorry this happened.

ninerbuff

I'd blackmail him.

Tough spot. You report to HR and it will be out in the open. And it's not always open and shut. Is he the only boss in your line of work or can you be transferred to another person?

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ilfaith

If this was the first time he's ever made a pass at you, I would chalk it up to the booze and move on. However, if he has come on to you before, or if it happens again, I would definitely report it. I've had coworkers come on to me, or behave inappropriately toward me, at company parties, and I've always given them the benefit of the doubt under the circumstances. It's never been a boss, however (I've always reported directly to gay men or straight women) but I can see how this would create a more awkward situation...especially since his wife works for the company as well.

Fact is, you are a gorgeous woman, and it is likely that there are other men in your office who are also attracted to you, but haven't had the nerve (alcohol-fueled or otherwise) to say it. You still have to get through the workday knowing there are colleagues who think you're hot.

NYactor1

So...are you single and available?

striderb

Just say no.

AskTracyAnnK28

I'd look for a new job and when it's time to give your 2 weeks notice let HR know what happened and why your leaving.

Just for the record, it's against the law for HR to disclose anything to anyone in the company about why your leaving. If they gossip about it after you reveal this information to them, you can slap them with a huge lawsuit.

kommodevaran

Someone asked you out and gave you compliments?! That's just nasty! Report them!

MsJulesRenee

There is no one above him/wife that you can report to or a corporate office? I'm sorry that happened to you and that you are in such a rough spot in regards to HR. Being drunk is not an excuse, most people say they don't remember what they did when they were drunk...but they do. Sexual harassment is serious- if it happened to me I would definitely report and have it documented. Always protect yourself in case something happens in the future!

LiftingRiot

He's a douche for being married and hitting on women. I wouldn't go as far as saying it's sexual harassment for asking you out. That's normal. But if you decline and it's repeated attempts, that's harrassment. Don't be scared to stick up for yourself. Ignore him if at all possible. You keep on being you.

motterotter

Ignore it unless he follows up on it he may have been just drunk and had beer goggles on
don't change your job because of this