Peanut Allergy

dee_thurman

My son has a peanut allergy. I could write all day on this and how it effects him and how he lives with it. I would love to start a thread for parents that have kids with food allergies or parents with peanut allergies to share stories and ideas.

#1 issue - He is so scared of his allergy he eats very little to nothing for lunch at school. I have tried everything. I have let him go to the grocery store with me to help pick out the foods that he would eat at lunch. I have let him help me fix his lunch at night so he sees me put the food in his lunch. He sits a separate table at lunch (peanut free table.) He will not eat hardly anything and sometimes nothing.

Any helpful ideas/thoughts?

ptsmiles

My situation is a little different, as it is my husband with the peanut allergy. He doesn't take it as seriously as he should and will often not ask if foods are cooked in peanut oil or contain peanuts. Drives me nuts! (pun intended) My boys(11,8) both are cautious of peanuts and peanut butter and will often sit with friends with peanut allergies at the nut free table. My oldest has been tested and is not allergic and is just starting to get more comfortable with peanuts. My youngest hasn't been tested yet. I stopped eating peanuts and peanut butter all together because the risk of me contaminating things, just wasn't worth it. Will he eat fresh fruits/veggies? Have you discussed this with his doctor?

ModernRock

dee_thurman wrote: »

#1 issue - He is so scared of his allergy he eats very little to nothing for lunch at school. I have tried everything. I have let him go to the grocery store with me to help pick out the foods that he would eat at lunch. I have let him help me fix his lunch at night so he sees me put the food in his lunch. He sits a separate table at lunch (peanut free table.) He will not eat hardly anything and sometimes nothing.

What reaction has he ever had to peanuts and what was the situation? His vigilance may seem justified if he had a bad reaction. You didn't mention his age. Addressing the issue with a 5 year old is different than a 12 year old.

LKArgh

How old is he? A first grader or a high school kid would need a different approach.
Why is he so scared? Bad previous experience? Does he trust that he is safe? Is there a nurse he trusts at school? Is he old enough to know how to protect himself?
How long does he stay in school? Could he eat a bigger breakfast and have a late lunch at home? Could he eat a more "snack" type lunch that he can feel 100% safe with, like fruit?
What is the school policy in such cases? Could a teacher or friend stay with him during lunch? Again this depends on age, but e.g. many younger kids would not want to eat if seated at a table alone, regardless of allergies.

MarziPanda95

ModernRock wrote: »

dee_thurman wrote: »

#1 issue - He is so scared of his allergy he eats very little to nothing for lunch at school. I have tried everything. I have let him go to the grocery store with me to help pick out the foods that he would eat at lunch. I have let him help me fix his lunch at night so he sees me put the food in his lunch. He sits a separate table at lunch (peanut free table.) He will not eat hardly anything and sometimes nothing.

What reaction has he ever had to peanuts and what was the situation? His vigilance may seem justified if he had a bad reaction. You didn't mention his age. Addressing the issue with a 5 year old is different than a 12 year old.

Agreed. If this is an older child I'd be worried about an eating disorder, maybe orthorexia ('a medical condition in which the sufferer systematically avoids specific foods that they believe to be harmful'). If he's younger it might be something he just grows out of, but either way I'd personally seek a doctor's help.

ModernRock

ptsmiles wrote: »

My boys(11,8) both are cautious of peanuts and peanut butter and will often sit with friends with peanut allergies at the nut free table. My oldest has been tested and is not allergic and is just starting to get more comfortable with peanuts. My youngest hasn't been tested yet.

If anything, the lack of peanut exposure (despite your husband not being overly concerned about his own allergy) increased your kid's chances of developing the allergy. The recommendation to avoid peanuts during the first few years of life completely backfired and is likely the primary driver behind the increase in peanut allergies. Technically, the recommendation was to avoid peanuts if there was a family history and positive tests. Parents, parenting book/magazine authors, and internet experts decided it was better to be safe than sorry and ignored the part about restricting peanuts if there was an actual reason to do so. The result has been a generation or so of kids developing peanut allergies at a much higher rate than they would have if they had been exposed to peanuts from an early age.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/allergies-asthma/Pages/Peanut-Allergies-What-You-Should-Know-About-the-Latest-Research.aspx

dee_thurman

He is 8 years old

amyk0202

Is he as picky about his drinks? Maybe see if he would drink something like pediasure or a carnation instant breakfast packet in milk at school & then feed him lunch when he gets home.

Bbeliever215

Does your son have an epipen? I'm wondering if having a consultation with a specialist on how to live with the allergy may help. My daughter has a peanut allergy and her doctor gave me a lot of information on support resources for both parents and children.

lynn1982

Although not a parent, I have a peanut allergy and grew up at a time when it wasn't as common or taken as seriously as it is today. In elementary school, I sat at a table at lunch by myself because of my allergy. Being singled out like that and needing to eat lunch alone always made me feel awkward and anxious and made me not want to eat. Things got much worse after I had an allergic reaction to peanut butter at overnight camp. After that experience, I became fearful of eating anything or even touching anything, worried that it might have somehow come into contact with peanuts. It eventually turned into a full blown eating disorder and I had to see a therapist.

It sounds like you've tried what I was going to suggest - that is, you've taken him shopping with you to pick out his foods for lunch and you've had him help you make his lunches. May I ask, does he eat other meals at home? Have you tried talking to him about why he doesn't eat his lunch? I know he is only 8 years old, but if you can somehow get him to talk about his feelings and anxieties about why he is not eating his lunch, perhaps it may help him or at least give you a better clue about where his anxieties stem from (meaning, whether it's a fear of peanuts or if it also has to do with the environment at school where he eats his lunch).

I hope this helps somewhat...

dee_thurman

Thanks for your thoughts. He has had a bad reaction in preschool where the teacher that they were handing out ritz and cheese they handed out ritz and peanut butter. They had to use his epipen. He goes through stages where he will eat at lunch and he will eat out but he is always very mindful of his allergy. He asks lots of questions and talks openly about his food. He also goes in stages where he won't eat hardly anything away from his own house except for chips. He is in that stage now. He has seen the doctor multiple times and he is tested often for his allergies. We have talked about him not eating at lunch. Sometimes he will say that he just doesn't feel comfortable. Other times he will say the food doesn't taste right (or make other excuses.) He has given a lot of reasons why he isn't eating but it is his food allergy. I appreciate your time and thoughts. We are trying to do everything we can so it doesn't turn into a full blown eating disorder. I am curious, if you don't mind sharing, what did your therapist say or do to help you with the disorder?

questionfear

My son is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame. The sesame is a huge pain because it's not required to be broken out in labels or listed for cross contamination-most store bought breads are out for us, he can't ever get food from a bakery or bagel shop, and sesame oil pops up in the strangest things (like candy corn!)

He's only 2.5 so he hasn't really caught on that he has to eat "differently", but we work really hard to make sure he doesn't feel deprived. For halloween we bought candies from nut free places, so he got to trick or treat and when he wanted candy, he got it from the safe candy pile. We try to focus him on the things he can eat, not the things he can't, and his preschool has been awesome about it so far; they are careful not to serve foods that are overtly unsafe for him, and if food is being served where they aren't sure they give us a heads up so we can investigate or send in our own equivalent.

It's a bit stressful for us at times, like yesterday when we went to a friend's house for a cookie exchange. All the other kids got to sample from all the cookies, and our son was a bit more limited. But we had two kinds of cookies for him, and he was so happy to get a cookie he didn't care if he had a different one.

Would having your son help pack his lunch help? Maybe if he helps prepare foods he knows are safe he'll feel more comfortable eating.

lynn1982

I was about 10 years old when my parents took me to see a therapist. It truly became much worse after the incident at overnight camp (which I can't imagine would happen today - the counselors made me stick my hand in a jar of peanut butter...). She specialized in children and I only remember going or a few sessions, but we discussed my anxieties around all food and my fear that anything might have peanuts or trace amounts in it. She would give me "homework," which was always to eat some sort of "healthy" food. It was like a conversation, but I remember eventually feeling more confident that not all foods contain peanuts, although even to this day I still get anxious when eating out, but that's also my personality. I don't know if that makes sense?

Has your son's pediatrician suggested anything? I think it was my pediatrician who suggested that my parents take me to see a therapist.

LKArgh

dee_thurman wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts. He has had a bad reaction in preschool where the teacher that they were handing out ritz and cheese they handed out ritz and peanut butter. They had to use his epipen. He goes through stages where he will eat at lunch and he will eat out but he is always very mindful of his allergy. He asks lots of questions and talks openly about his food. He also goes in stages where he won't eat hardly anything away from his own house except for chips. He is in that stage now. He has seen the doctor multiple times and he is tested often for his allergies. We have talked about him not eating at lunch. Sometimes he will say that he just doesn't feel comfortable. Other times he will say the food doesn't taste right (or make other excuses.) He has given a lot of reasons why he isn't eating but it is his food allergy. I appreciate your time and thoughts. We are trying to do everything we can so it doesn't turn into a full blown eating disorder. I am curious, if you don't mind sharing, what did your therapist say or do to help you with the disorder?

At this age, could it be he feels isolated? From my experience with my kids, not feeling a part of the group or feeling alone could be come a really big problem in the mind of a child this age. Have you tried asking a teacher to sit with him at lunch, to see if this would make him feel better? Maybe him saying he does not feel comfortable is exactly what he says, and having someone to talk to during lunch woudl help him relax.

macgurlnet

Are there a lot of students sitting at the peanut free table? If not, maybe that's playing a part? Or it could be the opposite and he would prefer to eat alone.

If he wants to eat by himself, is there the possibility of him eating with his teacher, a guidance counselor or the principal in their room/office? Even one day a week might be beneficial for him.

~Lyssa

dee_thurman

He gets to pick a friend to sit with him at the lunch table. I think, but not a 100 percent sure, it is the environment. He is isolated to some degree at his table but at the same time he knows peanuts are in the room. I think this makes him uneasy. Maybe him eating in a different setting might help. I will look into that. I really feel for him at school. I remember sitting at school and before lunch I couldn't concentrate on what was being taught because I was hungry and my mind was on lunch. I can't imagine the anxiety he has and how hungry he gets while he is at school. Luckily he is a very smart kid and makes good grades. Academics comes pretty natural to him. I try to put myself in his shoes and it makes me sick.

macgurlnet

dee_thurman wrote: »

He gets to pick a friend to sit with him at the lunch table. I think, but not a 100 percent sure, it is the environment. He is isolated to some degree at his table but at the same time he knows peanuts are in the room. I think this makes him uneasy. Maybe him eating in a different setting might help. I will look into that. I really feel for him at school. I remember sitting at school and before lunch I couldn't concentrate on what was being taught because I was hungry and my mind was on lunch. I can't imagine the anxiety he has and how hungry he gets while he is at school. Luckily he is a very smart kid and makes good grades. Academics comes pretty natural to him. I try to put myself in his shoes and it makes me sick.

If he can only pick one person, that may contribute, too. He may be worrying about hurting someone else's feelings because they can't eat with him that day. Checking in with him on that would be worth doing - and, if he is worried about that, perhaps it would be worth finding out if more kids can sit with him or you could help him plan out a schedule to see who could be his buddy on specific days. He could have a calendar at home and at school with which friend he's eating with so he doesn't have to remember - and so he's not worrying as much about upsetting someone.

Both of the elementary schools I work at have a peanut-free table. Not all the children who sit there are allergic - I think it's only 1/3 of the kids at the table - but all of them bring nut-free lunches. This way, the students with issues are isolated from possible harm, but they're not sitting alone in a corner, either.

If they do shared snacks in the room, there's usually a designated table for the nut-free student(s), and their friends can fill in the other spots if there's room. The kids are very aware of how serious these allergies are, so they do what they can to keep their friends safe.

I wish you and your son all the best - I know this stuff is tough!

~Lyssa

Colorscheme

Does he have an epi pen? My boyfriend is allergic to peanuts and I'm allergic to eggs. I made sure not to have any nuts he's allergic to in the house. I don't eat food if I don't know whats in it, too many people have told me no eggs, only to find out later that yes, it had eggs in it. We also carry epi pens and benadryl in case of a reaction.