Love to pick someone thoughts who had bipolar

Obnoxa

While not having suffered manic depression myself my best friend, her father and her daughter have it. I've known her and fam for 25 years and I can tell you this; the disorder is as individual as any other aspect of them.
I can't imagine that poi's from others who battle it would be much more informative than trying to figure out someone by talking to others who share the same astrological sign.
I'm not trying to be a big poo-pooer, and I'm sure the advice is coming from the right place but any mental illness/disorder has some base traits that are shared but how a person is specifically affected by or influenced by it is pretty specific to them alone.

mindierae1

I personally went untreated for years and prior to having kids if I hit a low I would just sleep it off. I cant do that now. I am the main care provider for my children as my spouse works six days a week 12 hr days. I am no where near being the mother I want to be. But my children are the reason I finally asked for help. And while I wasnt surprised by the diagnosis I wanted to deny it. I wasnt and am not that reckless selfish person the media portrays people with BPD to be. I felt broken. I felt lost and I was very confused. I was suicidal and barely hanging onto sanity. Yet aside from my spouse no one knew I was suffering in any such way. When I finally told my mother she was speachless and said she had no idea.

I personally dont experience the super manic highs. I will have moments where i have a little more energy than normal and act a little goofy or will go on a cleaning spree (last time i pulled everything out of my closet and dressers and when I snapped out of it I was left standing in a pile of clothjng books old toys and it looked like a cyclone went through the room. I was exhausted and barely had enough energy to clean up after myself).

I also dont typically spend days in bed. I wish I could. But I dont. There litterally is no one else to take care of my children.

This past week has been horrible for me. I have been angry with my spouse. i have gone through moments of crying and yelling to the next second asking him to cuddle and acting like nothing just happened.

I had an appt with my psychatrist yesterday and we both agreed that it is time to increase my med. I was on the lowest possible dosage and now will be taking the dose twice a day rather than pnce a day.

I understand that this is life long. I understand that meds will never entirely make the highs and lows go away but the meds will help me feel more normal and stable and help my mind stay clear and rational about 95% of the time. The meds help me be a kinder more understanding mother and wife. I understand that I will be on meds my entire life even when I feel good.