Wife supportive but not at the same time?

DialecticalBrain

Overall I've lost more than 38 lbs. I have about 10 more to go and I'll be at my goal weight. Recently my wife has been commenting on how small my butt looks and she doesn't like it.... Every time I go out to exercise she gives me a look of disapproval....

You'd think she would be happy that I'm doing great feeling great and getting healthy..... FYI I politely asked her to stop commenting on things she didn't like about my body.... She said she would stop I guess time will tell...

Anyone received surprisingly negative feedback from loved ones or friends?

DM01234

When I began losing, my wife was supportive though once I hit a certain level, she said I went too far. Much to her dismay I kept going. Eventually she became used to the weight I'd hit and want to stay at. After almost 1 year, it's now the norm.

DialecticalBrain

Thanks dm. Yeah it's a dialectical dilemma.... But over time I think she'll get used to it. So irritating, it drives me more to my goals oddly enough. I don't like to be told what to do and am very competitive so it drives me. Weird huh.

pliler

Yea my wife isn't doing well losing weight herself and I weigh a lot less than her now. She gets angry when she hears people complimenting me on my weight loss...it seriously bums me out, but I keep doing my thing.

DialecticalBrain

Yeah I think it has a lot to do with my wife choosing not to be active. It's been over two months since I've exercised almost daily. I think maybe she thought it would be a passing trend. Now that she realizes it's not I think she's envious.

I agree regardless of negative feedback the positives of a healthy lifestyle far outweigh the negatives.

FemmeFireRL

It's much harder for women to lose weight than it is for men. There may be some jealousy going on but on more than one level. Perhaps your success is making her feel insecure, like you would be getting a lot of attention from other women, perhaps she is feeling angry or upset with herself for not being motivated and joining you on your journey.... I've gone through something similar with my ex husband, thought I had started cheating on him because I was starting to make myself a priority... Keep doing what you're doing, try to include her if you can and keep the lines of communication open.

VeryKatie

Maybe it means you should do some butt workouts hahah. No more skipping leg (and butt) day!

That being said... if you're not allowed to be negative towards her body, she should be respectful enough to do the same for you.

I wouldn't jump right to jealousy. Maybe just have some faith and ask her. Perhaps she just really likes your bum. I love my husband's butt and want our future children to end up with it hahah. I wouldn't want him to lose it. He'd have to stop exercising for years and change his genetics to lose it though.

I'm actually curious why everyone is assuming your wife wants to lose weight. You haven't said anything of the sort.

jacklifts

Add romanian deadlifts to your routine = problem solved

DialecticalBrain

Lol I don't have a small but I have what's known as a bubble butt. It's just not as big as before! I'm at the weight now when we first met and we've been together for 13 years. Most of our marriage aside from the past 3 years I've been at my current weight.... So it's kinda strange comment. I ignored it the first four times, not until the 5th did I set some boundaries.

I did talk to her and it's about her insecurities. She wants to get more fit and if she lost weight no more than 10 lbs. she just isn't motivated she's comfortable and that ok with me.

DM01234

ijoyner wrote: »

Thanks dm. Yeah it's a dialectical dilemma.... But over time I think she'll get used to it. So irritating, it drives me more to my goals oddly enough. I don't like to be told what to do and am very competitive so it drives me. Weird huh.

I should follow up saying, because she sees me daily, she's more than used to it. It's the people who I only see a few times a year who seem to be the ones with the issue.

HippySkoppy

@ijoyner Acceptance of change can be difficult for some.....maybe that is what is happening for your wife.

I see up-thread that you have talked further with her and determined that the issue lies with her insecurities, hopefully over time they will subside and I hope she sticks to her word and doesn't keep on passing negative comments in your direction.

My experience for what it is worth.....I started out losing weight and exercising long before Hubby and Yes he did have a few choice negatives about getting 'too skinny'....'don't go any further' etc etc and the ever enchanting one of 'You aren't going out exercising, again'. Eventually this got a bit annoying so we talked it through and he admitted to feeling a little out of the loop of the "New" me.....perhaps even lonely in a way.

Once reassured it was all good and eventually he jumped on board with me and we then had a whole new and exciting arena of things to experience together and found a whole new lease on life....maybe with time that too will happen for you.