I wanna be tonned and fit and feel bloody brilliant!

Ivy_Autumn

Hey beautiful people - feel free to add I need help along my path!

I never put myself first, (my family comes first) but 2016 is going to be my year and I need to sort my eating habits and exercise regime.....
When your partner turns around and says - 'Ivy, you're getting fat!' (your heart is torn from your chest)
'Ivy, you never put yourself first' (but my children and you are always cared for!)
'But you need routine as it's all fat, you trained so hard for your half marathon and haven't done anything in months, and it shows!' (sobbing by now as I work full time, I'm studying for a professional qualification as well as caring for two small children and a home)

Any new friends, advice and help is so very welcome.
Being selfish is going to be hard and I need to get a balance but I want my partner to love me and not see just a fat mumma in front of him!
I need structure!

Thanks

pondee629

Is it really selfish to set time aside from caring for the others to take care of yourself so that you will be better able to take care to the others?

Seems to me to be a rather selfless act; taking care of yourself so that you can better take care of the others.

Is the beach life guard being selfish taking time off from patrol to train and workout to be better able to preform his/her job of saving people? NO!

Take the time you need for you. Your studies will go better, You'll be able to think clearer, you'll have more energy for the children and Hubby (if he deserves it) will get his cute honey back.

fiddletime

Get a morning workout schedule and have your husband take care of the kids so you get your work out in. It will mentally set you up for success- even if just a short workout. Then have the whole family eat healthy meals with you. If your husband complains, you can politely thank him for motivating you to take care of your health, and yourself!

FemmeFireRL

I've been there. You WILL feel guilty but remember that a healthy momma is a happy momma. Your partner needs to pick up some of the slack and help you out (that was a constant battle for me). Stay strong!

dangerouscurvs

I am so with you!! 2016 is MY YEAR!! I have been over weight for way too long! I want to get healthier and feel better about myself. Y'all can add me if you like!

cafeaulait7

How nice that he said that, because now he will get to realize that he needs to do half of the home and child-care (and more if he's not also taking coursework, I'd argue). Lucky you! Of course, you'll have to point it out specifically, but hey, he brought it up and wants something done about it, too. That's a win. Go you!

Just plan out a reasonable calorie and exercise amount, stay consistent, forgive mistakes, and you got this!

If the problem is putting yourself last like not wanting the workload shared, I can't relate at all, lol! Sorry I do like cooking for others very much, but man, someone else do the dishes to be fair, you know? It's almost 2016. [And don't raise kids who think women have to do everything if you are. That gets really old for a lot of us really fast My exes are proof that household roles can be a really big deal, so please, please think of the examples you set if you really do take on every single burden.]

And think of caring for yourself that way, yes 'Fair' and 'responsible humans' are better words/terms than 'caring mum' to get your mind straight about being tough on workload balance, imho. Good luck on both fronts!

ETA: Maybe I should give my current background to explain a little better. I entertain my father (77) most days at my place an am happy to do it, to spend time together. I have chronic pain problems and on disability it's so darned bad. He literally wants me to spoon out his plate and deliver it to him,on top of all the work of cooking, when I'll be the one cleaning up (think pain by that point). I basically say Hell no and it's buffet style. That no longer gets him very aggravated, but I do wish his mom hadn't treated him like a king or child or something. Oh, my mom, too, yeah. At least he enjoyed raising us girls to speak our minds, so there ya go, lol.

Ivy_Autumn

Thank you for all your kind words and suggestions. very helpful and it has made me see it's not me and it is all ok to put me first.
I will draw up a schedule today and get it sorted so it's doable and not such a massive change I can't manage it.

I've worked out planning is the key......

Thanks.
Ivy xxx

ataylorgardner

You can do this Ivy, just remember why you are doing it when it starts to get hard. I am not a morning person at all but I have to make myself workout in the morning or they wont get done at all. I dont have little kids at home anymore but I do handle all the household stuff on top of working outside the home. I completely understand the fear of taking time for yourself. I've been there and it was a difficult change but I am so much happier now that I have made it. I dont know how young your children are but maybe you can get them involved in your workout routines . I've seen other moms do it and not only is it good for the kids, it relieves some of the pressure on you too. Good luck