Maintenance requires obsession?

MrsRegan

I've been in maintenance mode for exactly one year, and I have been having difficulty with my will power with food. I constantly feel guilty for eating things that I didn't eat while losing or eating larger portions. I have stayed within a 10 lb range for the past year. I go up and down regularly, based on how my eating had been for the previous week. I feel like living a healthy lifestyle in an unhealthy society requires us to have somewhat of an obsession. It is a constant battle between giving in to societal pressures to eat like the average American, or be strong and make healthy choices. All this yo-yoing and guilt makes me feel obsessive, and I can honestly say I'm not happy with the way my "lifestyle" is right now. I'm just trying to get a handle on it. Anyone else feel this way? Thanks for any and all comments and advice

alienrite

I worked hard to hit my goal weight. And while I am thrilled about my new size, I would like to continue to lower my body fat % and have gone from an aggressive 2 lbs. per week loss goal to a 1.5 lbs. per month loss with an emphasis on feeding my activity and keep my nutrition level high. I never try to eat like an average American anymore because that is what I did when I gained all my weight. To be social, I eat pretty normal if I eat social and eat very clean and light if I eat by myself. I avoid crappy foods (fast food, cheap candy, bland pastries, etc.) and instead spend my calories on really tasty foods when I am out. I would rather have fried clams at a good clam shack then frozen french fries at a dive bar. I don't think I will ever eat with abandon again. It is a small price to pay not to be fat again.

Robin1117

I totally hear you....I think this is why so many people gain the weight back. Maintaining does require a constant state of awareness and sometimes it's good, but sometimes not so good.

I just wrote this last month about some of my self-image issues that are caused by maintaining....if you want to check it out. My 3 year anniversary blog talked about it a bit but this one is a little different take...kind of the fact I have started seeing myself so differently since maintaining and not really in the best way....so hard to manage....

http://afitandfocusedfuture.com/2013/05/23/its-a-fine-line/

Anyway, there are different approaches I keep trying to take to help--I think the best for me has been been to stop weighing or measuring myself--that takes a whole level of obsession away. But it seems different techniques are required at different times depending on the obsession. We maintainers do need to stick together though--that helps! You are not alone.

snejkaxo

I agree with you, MrsRegan. It is much easier to lose weight, than to maintain it. That is why so many people struggle to keep the weight, and go through yo-you their entire life.
What I found that works for me, is that I treat calories as money bank. I have this set amount of calories for a week. So if I watch what I eat and be more stingy during the week, I can splurge more over the weekend. It seems to work better with my social and personal life, because when I spend most time with my husband on the weekend, I don't have to reject foods just because it is something that I normally wouldn't eat during the week.

amyniceneasy

I'm in the same situation. What makes maintaining the hardest for me is that I still have to track and count my calories. I'm short, I'm older, and we eat out a lot. That being said...if you really look at the big picture you can eat at maintenance 6 out of 7 days a week. If one day a week you go over...over time the weight will creep back on.
Family members and friends will say I don't have to worry anymore...that "I'm finished". I guess they don't realize that I am not ever going on a diet again. I know what I need to do the keep the weight off and part of that is knowing that your never "done". It pisses me off actually. I'd like to just be "done". I don't want to use my time to excersize and I want to be able to eat all I want...but I want to be healthy more.

jacksonpt

Sounds to me like it's all in your head. To maintain, you are going to necessarily eat more than when you are losing, so of course there will be more cals, and there's nothing wrong with them being a little bit "dirtier". "societal pressure to eat like the average american"? Sounds like a load of crap to me. Most people are on this site and trying to lose because they don't want to be the average american. Yes, it's all too easy to give into the convenience of fast food and prepared meals. But what do you want more? Convenience? Or to look good, feel good, and be healthy? What has convenience ever gotten you? Hard work and good decisions lead to good outcomes.

Machafin

I know what you are saying and have experienced the same thing myself. I found it works better for me to always be working towards a goal, be it build muscle, cut fat, always have something in mind in the long run to help keep you sane.

lithezebra

Maintaining is hard! I'm not having a problem with the eating, but what I see in the mirror has gotten really weird. I know that I should not lose any more weight, but when I'm not losing I start feeling like I must be eating too much. Admittedly, I may be more screwed up than average because I recovered from an eating disorder.

alpine1994

I have been in maintenance since March, although I just decided to lose a few more lbs. I do agree that you still have to work at it i.e. plan meals, shop accordingly, make careful choices when going out, etc. I find that during the week it's easy for me to be really careful about what I eat and work out daily. During the weekend, I basically eat what I want and take a break from exercise, unless it's just fun active stuff. I understand it's something that won't work for everyone since some people will have a problem on Monday getting back to the healthy eating, but it's just a habit for me. Now that I am losing again, I have the same mantra but instead of eating "whatever I want" over the weekend, I'll have one meal or a treat that I normally wouldn't so I still have a loss. I'm working on body composition so diet is really important to me right now.

I definitely know how you feel about being obsessive. I've had people tell me I was too obsessive about calories and macros (during weight loss AND maintenance) but it works for me. Like you said, society doesn't make it easy for us and it seems backwards. Think of yourself as being an example for everyone to follow. I'm only 28, but it seems like throughout my lifetime, America (and the world as a whole) has been focused on trying to be healthier, so I think society will get there eventually.

Bekahmardis

I reached my goal weight and I have a number of people who constantly ask me why *I* need to track calories, I look great as it is! Of course, these are the same people who come down to the company cafeteria and, when I grab a couple of scrambled Egg Beaters, they grab the largest chocolate chip muffin there - but it says "low fat!" *sigh*

chrisdavey

not saying it's for everybody but this is one reason why I love intermittent fasting.

Robin1117

not saying it's for everybody but this is one reason why I love intermittent fasting.

agree I have done this, my own version of IF, also just "averaging" calories for the week, so if you go out to dinner for a splurge, or have a few up days, generally you have a few down days too and it all works out ok on average....that takes away some day-to-day obsession!

therainandthunder

To me, weight loss is easier than maintenance. To lose weight I'd just have to net x calories and I got so used to it that eating my maintenance amount is over-whelming. But then I am recovering from an ed, so.

Robin1117

To me, weight loss is easier than maintenance. To lose weight I'd just have to net x calories and I got so used to it that eating my maintenance amount is over-whelming. But then I am recovering from an ed, so.

I think it's easier too, one of the hardest things to figure out is that maintenance level--it took me over a year, maybe a year and a half to find my limit, because I was so worried about gaining-- and I went up gradually. Anyway, good luck to you!

Robin1117

just thinking about this thread a lot this week...have been struggling big time for the last 3 weeks since vacation. After 4 years of logging, I felt I was good to stop over the last month, but now I have developed some bad habits over vacation and feel like I have taken a big step backwards, after being fine for the past year! Ugh, seems like there is no rest for the weary when thinking about health, right? If you stop, you get back to where you started so quickly...: