All or Nothing Thinking - what has helped you? (aka cheat days?)
Anita672
Posts: 32 Member
Hi all - I suffer greatly from "all or nothing" thinking. I'm either trying to be perfect or I've ditched my journaling and I eat everything I consider "off limits". This completely sabotages my weight loss. One suggestion for this is to be less restrictive or give yourself some wiggle room. I would love to hear suggestions that you have found works for you. For example: "Cheat days", eating at maintenance level for a day or two, having a meal a week you don't journal.
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Moderation of all foods. Log everyday, regardless of whether you go over. Lower your expectations.0
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Have you ever noticed that when you eat a day of high processed fats and high sugars the next day you crave it again? It's TORTURE. My goal is to change my life. Not just lose 30 pounds. I want to change forever.0
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Logging it. "All" of something usually means I can't eat the rest of the day because I'll be out of calories or I don't have enough calories left to eat "all" of something.
The more I eat foods with high fats and high sugar, the more I crave them. It's a crazy cycle that I'm trying hard to break.
Sometimes it's just easier to have nothing.0 -
Moderation of all foods. Log everyday, regardless of whether you go over. Lower your expectations.
This!! Pretty much what I do. Nothing is off limits but I HAVE to log it! I mostly(not counting Christmas season) try to limit my sweets though. I know I will hear someone call me out for this, but the more sugar I eat, the more I crave it. So if I mostly avoid I feel great and avoid overindulging or being miserable.
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Don't go there. Recognize that kind of thinking as the self indulgence it really is: you will NEVER be perfect so basically you have given yourself a built in opt-out for whenever things get tough. Nope! This time you are going to stay the course and master the utter self abnegation of being perfectly flawed.0
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Like all the rest of us! LOL
I log everything & just move on to a new day. All you need is more good days than bad; you'll never have only good days.0 -
I'm either trying to be perfect or I've ditched my journaling and I eat everything I consider "off limits".
My tip is, get back on track at the next meal. For me "on track" isn't "fewer calories to stay within budget", because if you blow the day with a ridiculous 800 calorie lunch after a 600 calorie breakfast, and are still hungry, eating 300 for dinner is going to feel like punishment. "On track" for me is having a meal that is balanced, has some veg, hits at least some micronutrients - that is, is what in the old days some naively called "healthy".
For me, a tasty, "healthy" meal as the next one after something ridiculous reinforces my commitment to my health. I'm fuelling my body with good stuff, it's positive for me. I'll still go over calories but I'm not going to cry about it.
Doesn't matter if you had a bucket of K fry or a gigantic bag of chips with dip for lunch. Dinner can be grilled beef over red cabbage salad with a vinaigrette.0 -
Hi all - I suffer greatly from "all or nothing" thinking. I'm either trying to be perfect or I've ditched my journaling and I eat everything I consider "off limits". This completely sabotages my weight loss. One suggestion for this is to be less restrictive or give yourself some wiggle room. I would love to hear suggestions that you have found works for you. For example: "Cheat days", eating at maintenance level for a day or two, having a meal a week you don't journal.
When I started with MFP, I made the decision that I was going to eat ONLY food I liked. I was not going to waste my calories on foods I didn't like.
Therefore, one of the first things I did when I started with MFP was to go to the grocery store and have a really good browse through everything, reading labels. I found all sorts of stuff that would fit within my calories ... and it was delicious! I'm eating a wider variety of food now than I used to. And just this past weekend, I even put together a meal in our new slow cooker. That's something I've never done before! Never even imagined I'd do something like that!
There are many things my husband and I eat now which we'll stick with for years to come because we really enjoy the food.
Another thing I do is to take diet breaks. After I lost 15 kg (kind of my first goal), 4 months after I started here, I took a 1-month diet break that coincided with our holiday to Canada. The plan was to eat all the food and in large quantities. But I couldn't.
First stop was a Krispy Kreme donut place at the airport. My husband and I used to get a dozen donuts there and share them in one sitting (6 each). This time we ordered half a dozen, and ate them over 2 days. And even so, it was a struggle to get the last one down. Later, I planned to eat several bags of dill pickle chips (my favourite) ... I managed 1 bag. They were just way too salty. I found myself ordering salads and steamed veggies with meals and eating relatively small portions.
Then I resumed the diet and 4-months later, I took a 3-day diet break. And again, I ate quite a bit, but not the quantities I imagined I would. Since then, I've gone up to maintenance about every other weekend because I'm pretty much at my final goal weight, and I'm sort of trying to figure out where maintenance might be ... basically, figuring out what I can get away with.
Right now, I'm on a 2-week diet break over Christmas, and I'm really struggling to eat as much as I'd like to eat. I get so full and I'm so fussy now!
Anyway, the point is ... you don't have to stick with it forever. Stick with it for a few month, and then take a break and reassess the situation. You might discover that you actually feel better eating the good lower calorie food. Not that you have to be perfect ... none of us are. Just that you feel healthier, more energy, generally better.
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I have to give myself a meal where I allow myself an infinite amount of calories every once and awhile for my sanity. I only allow myself this 1 meal and not a whole day because I usually can't eat more than 1500 in a meal, but I can definitely consume 4000 calories in a day.0
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I find that when I eat some kind of sweets or "junk" food daily, in small amounts, I never crave it bad. Only when I have tried to cut out certain food in the past do I go way off the deep end after a few days.
I don't eat the world's "healthiest" diet, but healthy is a very subjective term when it comes to food and for the first time after failing everything from low fat to low carb to no sugar to whatever, I am successful. Everyone has their sweet spot when it comes to health and weight loss. No two people are alike and what matters is what works for you personally. If having a "cheat" for one meal once a week does it, go for it. If cutting sugar and sweets out completely works for you, go for it. If going low carb works, fantastic. There is no one-size-fits all diet plan, except for the one simple rule of weight loss: Calories in < calories out.0 -
Thanks all for your replies. What I hear from your replies is what I consider "cheating" or"failing" in my unhealthy all or nothing thinking, others think of as moderation, occasionally indulging, being realistic - much more positive ways of thinking.
I'm less than 10 lbs away from my goal but I've been reliving this same point over and over because of my self sabotage.
I will keep practicing a better way.
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JanetYellen wrote: »Have you ever noticed that when you eat a day of high processed fats and high sugars the next day you crave it again? It's TORTURE. My goal is to change my life. Not just lose 30 pounds. I want to change forever.
It's the opposite for me. We went to the fair back in October and I just went all out and ate so much that I was literally in pain that night. (I do not recommend it!) When I woke up the next day, I didn't eat until around 3:00 and when I did, the last thing I wanted was anything deep fried or sweet. Kind of like when you drink too much one night and you're hungover the next morning, the last thing you want to think about is any kind of alcohol. I went overboard. I estimate I consumed 3,000 calories in one piece of fried dough with custard on top. And that was when I got home, after the food I ate while I was at the fair, so it was probably close to a 5K calorie day of nothing but deep fried, greasy deliciousness.
But you know what? That day really didn't set me back at all. Sure, I went up the next morning, mostly water and from all the carbs, but I evened out over the next three or four days, and I actually lost weight that week. So one over-indulgant day will not ruin anything if you just recognize it and move on. I'll probably do it again next year. 0 -
Problem with restricting then having a 'cheat' day for me is that I'll go way overboard on my 'cheat' days. I found that I don't feel the need to cheat as much if I just eat what I want when I crave it, but less of it, plus it's so much more satisfying to eat that way... Often if I really want a high calorie meal I go for lunch then I'm not hungry the rest of the day, so I don't even end up over maintenance most of the time (and if I do, I just eat a bit less the next few days).0
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Moderation works for me, I eat whatever I like as long as it fits into my calorie goal. I don't do "cheat" days or meals. Pre-planning most meals actually helps me to fit in those treats when I want them.0
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It depends on your goals. I'm happy with my weight so I usually eat whatever I want but know my limits. I'm not a fan of depriving myself of foods I like either.0
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Like all the rest of us! LOL
I log everything & just move on to a new day. All you need is more good days than bad; you'll never have only good days.
That mindset also makes the whole process of weight loss a lot less stressful/more enjoyable. Stick to your calories, shoot for hitting your macros but don't obsess if you don't get it perfect. I see people getting all neurotic when they're 2g over on fat or go 6 calories over their goal for the day.
All or nothing doesn't work for me. I eat lots of lean meat and vegetables, but I also include ice cream, pizza, beer, fast food, etc. - in moderation, and a lot less quantity and frequency than I used to. I don't believe in classifying foods as "good" or "bad" - it completely ignores both context and dosage, and it brings about arbitrary and unnecessary restrictions.0 -
Your problem is viewing foods as 'off limits' and restricting yourself.
Your problems will continue until you stop this, and instead choose to eat the foods you like and that make you happy within the limits of your calorie and macronutritional goals.
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Ive experimented a LOT and have found macro friendly foods that satisfy pretty much every craving I might have, so I never feel the need to 'cheat' anymore. Its taken about two years to get to this point tho, but its SO worth it0
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JanetYellen wrote: »Have you ever noticed that when you eat a day of high processed fats and high sugars the next day you crave it again?
No ... actually quite the opposite.
Take yesterday, for example ...
We had a Christmas morning tea and I planned to eat a lot. I didn't have breakfast, I didn't have snacks, and I didn't bring lunch so that morning tea was going to be it and I planned to thoroughly enjoy everything.
I ended up nibbling a bit of this and a bit of that and not eating nearly as much as I thought I would, and yet, I was FULL. So full I was looking forward to returning to my normal diet today.
I also found that most of the savoury food was way too salty for me ... and I thought I salted my food a lot. Apparently not. Plus I caught myself blotting the cold cuts to get rid of some of the fat (I have never done that before!!) ... and I had one little cream puff, and could barely finish it because it was so incredibly sweet.
I was planning to make pavlova tomorrow, but I'm having second thoughts. It might be too sweet for me.
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annette_15 wrote: »Ive experimented a LOT and have found macro friendly foods that satisfy pretty much every craving I might have, so I never feel the need to 'cheat' anymore. Its taken about two years to get to this point tho, but its SO worth it
Yes, this. It's hard to work it out! Definitely trial and error.
I wasn't as able to be as consistent with it as I'd have liked, but I did in the past try to make note of high-satiety days, to help hone in on those recipes and days (and sometimes amounts and meal times) that work. In some ways it's a moving target, because it depends on health, activity, sleep, all kinds of stuff.
OP, I would say that whether taking notes is helpful to you or not, it's good to just ask yourself questions about what happened on a particular day. That way, you can look at it as more information to help you solve the problem of "what's filling for me", vs. looking at it as a personal failure.0 -
But in general:
- Yes, agree with you re having a conservative deficit. -5 lbs is much easier to stick with than -2lbs
- Agree with being less restrictive - but also focusing on filling things & micros. 80:20. There is that trial and error, but a lot of people find an emphasis on protein, fibre, fat more filling
Re balancing being overly restrictive and not setting yourself up for failure, some limits I've set up for myself have been
- Not buying large portions of the foods that I am crap at controlling intake on or bringing them into the house. For me, re foods for home, that's mostly potato chips. I do still have them, but one small bag at a time, out of the house
- The way I spread out that 20 helps me keep it in check. If I have 2-3 quarter pounder meals in a row, it's going to be a slippery slope for me, harder to get back on track. Another reason "make the next meal "healthy"" works for me. Basically, not 2-3 days in a row
- It's easier for me to stay on track when I'm not sedentary. Even just walking keeps my head in the game (as well as giving me a *bit* of a margin of error). Right now I can't so it's hard! But it does help, ime.
- Learning new recipes, enjoying the food I'm eating0 -
Hi all - I suffer greatly from "all or nothing" thinking. I'm either trying to be perfect or I've ditched my journaling and I eat everything I consider "off limits". This completely sabotages my weight loss. One suggestion for this is to be less restrictive or give yourself some wiggle room. I would love to hear suggestions that you have found works for you. For example: "Cheat days", eating at maintenance level for a day or two, having a meal a week you don't journal.Hi all - I suffer greatly from "all or nothing" thinking. I'm either trying to be perfect or I've ditched my journaling and I eat everything I consider "off limits". This completely sabotages my weight loss. One suggestion for this is to be less restrictive or give yourself some wiggle room. I would love to hear suggestions that you have found works for you. For example: "Cheat days", eating at maintenance level for a day or two, having a meal a week you don't journal.
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I use to struggle myself, with the all
Or nothing and restricting myself from certain foods, that was the worst I could ever do to myself
. It finally came to an end when I stopped stressing out about it. The more I focused on what I can and can't eat the more I was sabotaging my hard effort. Yes! there are going to be days that are extremely more difficult then others but take it one day at a time and enjoy the process because it is a lifestyle change. If you don't process that this is a new lifestyle! you will fall back into those habits, that got you to gain weight in the first place.
My eating habits now are mostly focused on whole food meals. If I'm out and about I make sure my plate is always balanced out and if I want a piece of chocolate I can have it. But, since I know I can have whatever I like, I don't have it because I just don't want it.
You have to train your mind and stay strong. Distract yourself the minute you feel you are losing control. What works for me is I look at inspiring photos. I visualize a lot, I picture myself in the best shape ever and so far I'm almost there!0 -
Apart from a calorie goal I'm not restrictive at all - if I want a food I'll work it in. I come in at or under my calorie goal virtually every day.
As to how I keep one bad day from spiraling out of control, I redefined my goals. I am not trying to be perfect. I'm trying to be good enough.
I don't do regular cheat days but certain special occasions are days without explicit goals - Christmas will be one. And I don't let dieting consume my life - the world doesn't end if I miss my goals one day.0 -
rankinsect wrote: »Apart from a calorie goal I'm not restrictive at all - if I want a food I'll work it in. I come in at or under my calorie goal virtually every day.
As to how I keep one bad day from spiraling out of control, I redefined my goals. I am not trying to be perfect. I'm trying to be good enough.
I don't do regular cheat days but certain special occasions are days without explicit goals - Christmas will be one. And I don't let dieting consume my life - the world doesn't end if I miss my goals one day.
Exaaaaactly!0 -
I'm an all or nothing person and a volume eater. I admire people who can take one bite of a piece of pie and put it away for later. I want the whole darn slice or nothing at all! haha
Here the strategies I used during my 80 lb weight loss:
- Being a little more strict or eating slightly less during the week and over the weekend I'd eat more. It all balanced out and I didn't gain other than maybe temporary water weight. I didn't go crazy over the weekend though. I still planned and looked at menus in advance etc.
- Planned out meals a day in advance as best as I can helped me to fit things in.
- I don't drink calories very often (soda, alcohol or store-bought juice). It may sound boring, but it saved me a lot of calories that I happily used towards food.
- For the volume eating part I naturally have an eating window and I eat larger balanced meals. I'm usually not very hungry in the morning and I taught myself to close the kitchen after dinner. Eating this way kept me full so it helped me to stop snacking and to be more aware of what I was consuming.
I'm maintaining now, but I still follow these points. At first I used to cut things out, then I learned that I didn't have to do that. CI/CO. I believe that eating this way along with having an active lifestyle has helped me keep the weight off comfortably.0 -
Hi all - I suffer greatly from "all or nothing" thinking. I'm either trying to be perfect or I've ditched my journaling and I eat everything I consider "off limits". This completely sabotages my weight loss. One suggestion for this is to be less restrictive or give yourself some wiggle room. I would love to hear suggestions that you have found works for you. For example: "Cheat days", eating at maintenance level for a day or two, having a meal a week you don't journal.
The only thing "cheat days " have ever helped me with is gaining weight. Not optimal.
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When people say to cut it out entirely it's just unrealistic for many. I can't cut it out entirely, it's not possible. What I've been doing is if I feel the sugar craving coming on I'll make myself a protein shake or have a slim fast chocolate drink. It's not much but it actually curbs my craving and I feel better. I log it and either burn the calories on a run or eat less later. It's not possible for some people to cut it out entirely. Try to find a low calorie substitute or something that you can have once in a while and not get stressed about.0
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