Mental Struggle: Advice appreciated! :)

chunkydunk714

If you are "all or nothing" person how about setting a goal for yourself? A goal that you know is good for your health.

So if you set a goal of 1,500 calories you must meet it within 50 calories.
If you eat 2,000 than you did not meet it. If you eat 1,300, than you also did not meet it.

If you track everything, you will have no guilt about eating something while meeting your goal. (Tracking meticulously, I discovered that sometimes I would overestimate what I ate.)

And if you want to eat something extra for a 2,000 calorie day, you know you need to work off 500 cal first.

If this is a diet, you will fail. If this is a lifestyle, you should never be eating "as little as possible". Lifestyle must be sustainable and as stress free as possible.

And for God's sake, EAT REAL FOOD, not canned shakes or diet products. Real, fresh, cook-it-yourself, as unprocessed as you can get FOOD!

Lrdoflamancha

How about telling yourself you aren't on a diet? Eat healthily, balance out your calories throughout the day with nutrient rich foods (for example, but not necessary the "right" thing, 300 calories for breakfast, 400 calories for lunch, 500 for dinner, 200 for snacks, or whatever works out best for you, some people do better eating 2 large meals, some people do better eating 6 small). Concentrate on eating better, not eating less. 1400-1500 calories is typically a good range for most people to lose weight (even if slowly). 1000 calories isn't enough for a child to be healthy on, why would you think it would be for you?

Find a reasonable exercise plan you can stick with (not one that you only do because you are on a diet). Like 2-3 days of cardio that you enjoy and 2-3 days of weight training. Do what you love to do, what makes you feel good. It's all about learning a different life style so you don't have to "diet"...

See above this is exactly right.....

9jenn9

Some advice about feeling guilty about eating ~ I've been there, but trust me, there is nothing virtuous about being hungry and deprived. That "oh I'm hungry, so the weight must be falling off me" feeling is a diet lie and in my case would eventually lead to a binge or a fall off the wagon. I rely on logging everything I eat to avoid feelings of guilt. If I know exactly what I've eaten, I can enjoy what I'm noshing on.
Oh, and I second the advice to work some fruit/veg in with those frozen meals as a good way to up your calorie total.

MsEndomorph

I'm right there with you. Most days I have to fight to get in 1200 calories in a day - until it catches up to me. Then suddenly I'm non-stop starving and craving only calorie dense foods and I end up eating all those lost calories and THEN some. Sometimes it happens all in one day (skip breakfast and lunch and then have a huge dinner) but when I'm trying to lose weight it seems to come in longer intervals. For instance, I had a huge calorie deficit last week (partially due to a strep infection) and this week I've gone over almost every single day.

Then of course I over-exercise and end up needing a week to recover, totally defeating the purpose.

What I've found is that pre-planning is a life saver. Plan 3 small meals and 3 snacks for every day, and even set a timer on your phone to remember to eat if you need to. I force myself to stick to my workout plan. I get excited and I want to lift 10000lbs every day of the week, but I'm only going to do my legs once a week, my arms once a week, etc, whether I like it or not.

HeidiCooksSupper

How about setting a goal of becoming a very knowledgeable and healthy eater. You can take this to an extreme and be healthy at the same time. I found a site today that has info to help you start with the information gathering: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/

Your current "diet" sounds pretty extreme to me. What works long term for many is refusing to "diet" (as a verb) but rather to have a diet that naturally results in good health. It's working for me so far. I do indeed need to change my eating habits long term so I am "simply" trying to eat like a healthy person and in the process I'm losing weight and feeling better.

I log my food everyday (almost) and strive to stay close to a calorie level of TDEE-20% which I determined by using a variety of different ways to calculate TDEE and averaged it with the MFP lose a pound a week figure. I recalculate the figure about every 10 pounds and have recently needed to diminish it a bit to continue losing as I get smaller. Different folks use different methods.

I like food too much to give up good food but not all folks who like good food are twice the weight they should be like I am. Therefore, I need to change my eating habits but for me it is mostly portion control and greatly reducing sugar consumption because it interferes with my appetite control.

You need to work to find what your best method is. If you are all or nothing, you need to choose a different ALL -- and I suggest knowledgeable, healthy eating. It's the only thing known to work long term.

Deipneus

But by 10 pm or so I realize I've eaten around 450-600 calories, and I don't want to eat another full meal before bed. Previously, me on a diet consisted of not eating for a week and then small foods for another two and then one big meal a day for a month, so this level of moderation is already difficult. Is anyone else experiencing this kind of thing or have any advice, perhaps mental techniques I could use to make small, frequent, meals a day seem more reasonable?

The very fact that you recognize already that weight loss is mental/psychological as well as physical puts you ahead of the game. It took me a long time to understand that.

This may be the answer to a question that you didn't ask, but if I was starting out today, I would not go straight to "the recommended daily calorie allowance". I would benchmark my existing habits first. In other words, just eat like I always have and keep track of it. I don't care if it's 5,000 calories a day, that's fine. It's not good or bad, it's just present reality. Then I would drop gradually. 4,500 per day for a week or so. Then 4,000 a day, and so on. That might be a better way to get where you want to go with less mental wear and tear.

The problem is, and I've done it myself, is that we overeat and then try to go to something like 1,200 calories all at once. It's like driving 90 miles an hour and slamming on the brakes. It's pretty rough.

NYCNika

Eating weight-loss products you only focus is on loosing weight. I don't think it is possible to focus on anything else while eating unsatisfying and unhealthy foods.

To really stop obsessing and being miserable you have to focus on well being more than on weight.

And, if I had to choose one word that is a key to successful and permanent weight loss it would be sustainable. The way you are eating now is not. So you have to figure out a way that is. And if it takes longer, it does not matter(I know this is not what you want to hear, but it is what you need to hear).

The way you will start feeling about yourself when you are healthy and fit is fantastic. You will not get that feeling from just dropping the weight, trust me.

herblackwings39

Wow thanks for the prompt responses! It sounds like planning every meal ahead of time works for several of you, so I'm going to give that a try, that wil definitely help over summer break where I have much more free time. I try and do some home cooked meals but overall it doesn't work well for me, simply because I don't like eating the same food multiple times a week, and in order to do home cooked for economical and time purposes I would have to cook in bulk and eat that for the week. But salads and fruits I can definitely sub more of. I have tried thinking of it as a life style change but for whatever reason it is impossible for me to stick to it, I think once I get down to the goal weight thinking of it as a life style change will become easier. As far
As the guilt goes, I'm still not sure how to change that, even meeting a daily goal, I still feel a personal achievement when it's less than. It's not just guilt even, it's tied into self esteem too. If you have similar feelings and have figured out a way to conquer them please let me know! Thanks for the advice, I will take it to heart and make some changes!

Are there meals that you like you'd be willing to eat say once a week for a month? Most meals can be bulk cooked and then divided into single serving sizes and frozen. In essence you can make your own healthy frozen meals. That way you don't have to eat chicken chili twice a day till it's gone. Just cook, portion, cool, and freeze. Then take it out in the morning or pack it in your lunch and reheat. There are quite a few good freezer cooking websites on line. Just google freezer cooking.

In the past I've cooked up a 10 lb package of lean ground beef, seasoned 5 lbs for mexican meals and 5 lbs for italian. Then froze them in 1 lb packages ( or smaller if you're not cooking for a family). I've made my own frozen burritos with higer fiber tortillas, home made "refried" beans, and shredded sharp cheddar. Roll them up, wrap them in plastic individually, and freeze them in a large zip top bag. Even breakfast burritos would work with eggs and salsa.