MIL

VeryKerri

Any suggestions from ANYONE on how to deal with a MOSTER SUPER SELFISH Mother in law???? I was just accused of trying to keep the eldest grand daughter away from her grandmother, because I will not allow them to take her to Las Vegas next month????? Background:

I have 3 step daughters and 1 bilogical daughter. My MIL only ever wants to talk to or be around the eldest who is 13. The others are 9, 4 and 2. She wants to take the eldest on all weekend trips to a casino resort in Louisiana and we allow it most of the time because its only 2 hours from us. She takes her for a few weeks in the summer and tires for more.

She just asked us if we would change the date of her baptism at church this weekend because she wants to take her to "her lake house" in LA (said casino from above) this weekend instead. I told her no and she said I was being selfish by witholding her grand daughter from her. SHE NEVER ASKS about the other 3 kids. I am soooo mad!!!!!! Who takes a 13 year old to Las Vegas for a summer vacation. If they were staying at Circus Circus I might understand them asking, but they are staying at the WYNN for crying out loud!!! We told her we want to be the first to take her there as her parents when she is 21 and we are SELFISH!!!!!

Sorry just venting.

Allibaba

That is frustrating! Sometimes there is no reasoning with people. Maybe you can use the stress as good fuel for working out!

Hope you figure it all out!

*Hugs*

sweetsassy6969

I would tell her to take a hike until she is grandmotherly enough to take time for the other 3 children they are just as much her grandchildren as the oldest. (My grandmother used to take the oldest all the time and leave the other 4 of us too.) Also, I would point out that keeping your 13 year old out of a casino is being a GOOD PARENT not a selfish one; there is no reason for a child to be near a casino considering it is an adult passtime and illegal for a child to do anyway. Point out the favortism every chance you get too.

rjadams

Sorry to hear your frustration. Wish I could help but my MIL won't even speak to me. She didn't attend our wedding or even send a card. And that is just fine with me. Don't let what some crazy woman thinks even bother you. You know whats best and you need to stand by your convictions and just ignore her.

LittleSpy

I don't have any problems with my MIL but then again I don't have kids and I just got married last week. Though, I did find it EXTREMELY hilarious that right after dh and I got married (like, 10 minutes after the marriage papers were signed), my MIL said "Oh, and I have a birthday present for you!" (my bday was 3 weeks before). I opened the bag and my birthday present was rubber cleaning gloves.

No, I'm not joking.

I KNOW she wasn't insinuating anything but it's really nearly impossible not to interpret it that way. :laugh: She had just seen cutesy rubber cleaning gloves and probably got some for herself and a few other friends. I *know* that's what happened. She was *not* saying "your house is messy" or "have fun cleaning after my son for the rest of your life" or anything like that. She just wanted me to have cutesy pink and zebra print rubber gloves and that's all.

weaklink109

Sounds like it is time for your husband to have a serious one-on-one chat with his dad (your FIL) about the favoritism, and the flaming discourtesy toward both of you on MIL's part.

Regardless of whether that takes place, YOU are the parents, and you get to decide what is age-appropriate for your daughter. Any grandmother who would expect a child to miss their own BAPTISM so they can be near "grandma" at a casino has oatmeal for brains, IMO.

PaulaDygert

So sorry to hear that, when I got married I got 3 mother in laws (biological adopted and step). I haven't had problems such as you are, but understand in laws not respecting my choices and wanting nothing to do with their grandchildren. I will pray for wisdom on how to approach her.

VeryKerri

Sounds like it is time for your husband to have a serious one-on-one chat with his dad (your FIL) about the favoritism, and the flaming discourtesy toward both of you on MIL's part.

That is the thing, FIL knows how selfish his wife is, but if my daughter goes then he wont have to deal with his wife so he says NOTHING.

tiffenie

Kerri,
I remember all the cr@p you have had to put up with. Just stand your ground and don't give in to her. The last thing "13 yr old" needs is exposure to LA and to post pone her babtism for it! You keep strong!