I can't lose weight! (yea one of those threads)

gypsyrose64

I hate to put myself out there, because I've read enough of these threads to know it doesn't always end pretty.
Bottom line, I need some input about my inability to get things moving.

Will summarize things as best I can.

Started Oct.2012 here counting calories. Never dieted before, so it was a major shift in my lifestyle and relation to food.

Female, 48, 65" tall and currently bouncing between 210-213

BodyFat% 42% (tape and a hand held monitor both came to that)

Measurements: 38-44-48

I am on my butt for long commute to/from work and sit at desk ALL day in office. Had back issues when I started at MFP and "impact" exercise aggravate my lower back and knees.

I was trying to lift heavy at the gym, but had to give up membership for now($$). Been doing yoga and other circuit training stuff at home, and even managed to do a bootcamp session this week. I don't exercise consistently, but I track religiously.

** PLEASE SEE 8 MONTHS OF NUMBERS HERE >>> http://tinyurl.com/lt3nd9u
(DIARY OPEN TO PUBLIC AS WELL)

** I don't always track calories burned on spreadsheet, but I always track intake.

I was probably close to 50% BF 8 months ago and wore size 22 jeans. I know I'm making "progress", but it's starting to piss me off how slow it's going. I live my life thinking about calories in and calories out... and even though I don't go nuts on 30DS and Insanity workouts, I take stairs at work daily, park blocks away from work, work in extra movement anywhere I can (ie: squats in the bathroom, pushups against a wall, etc)

I did this bootcamp earlier this week in heat index so high I wanted to puke from heat exhaustion. I still hung in there 45 min before wussing out. My back has been griping at me since then. Knees didn't like the frog hops she had us doing. I'm not whining here, but I'm being realistic about my limitations when it comes to cardio. I enjoyed lifting weights, but that is on back burner until my finances improve.

I know I don't do enough, and been trying harder than ever to get some form of exercise every day, but you would think eating at a deficit for this long would have yielded better results? YES, I track every morsel. YES, I have a digital scale. NO, I don't always eat clean. With that said, I made a huge effort this month to increase protein, lower carbs, eat more veggies, drink more water, etc. (even gave up alcohol! sigh)

I also use this spreadsheet when trying to figure my TDEE out:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ap_xdSfSgdz3dG1mWTBaX3JfNWhac3ZvdXNNbVlPbVE&usp=sharing

Would anyone like to gander at my stats, spreadsheets and diary to see if I can tweak something else or make a suggestion?

wilsoje74

Just in glancing over the last week it looks like you were over calories on 3-4 of the days, one day over 600 over. I'd try consistently eating under or right at your goal. Also more fruits and veggies maybe? I don't go to a gym but ha e an adjustable weight set and just found a bar with weights at a garage sale for $20. I do weight DVDs at home along with running. I was paying for a gym but actually think I'm in better shape now.

gypsyrose64

Yea I did eat alot more than goal a few times, but I still average under 1500/day for the month. I think there were 5 days this month were I creeped above 1700 and almost never go over 2000 for the day.

I've always thought a few calories over one day could be negated by cutting back the next day, so I tend to bounce around a little but stay in a range. Maybe that's my problem, but I don't always prepare my food and have to make due with what I can find...especially with lunches. I tried hard this month to stay as close to 1400 as I could. I'm starting to feel like I will have to slice it back to 1200 and just starve.

wilsoje74

No, don't look at it that way. If you think you need to suffer and starve then that won't be a lifestyle change. I eat about 1400 but I exercise and gain about 400 cal most days to eat 1800 which is plenty.

Love_Is_My_Fuel

Just quick glances at your food diary and noticed you have pasta a lot and higher carb foods in most meals. I limit my carbs for early in the day and cut them out for dinner...just a low carb chicken breast recipe with lots of steamed veggies for dinner. No need for pasta, potatoes or rice at the end of the day...save that for energy in the morning or lunch or even better before you work out. Add lots of veggies and fruits and drink at least 12 cups of water a day..that's only 6 500ml bottles Once your body is in a routine and knows what to expect you will lose more regularly. It's all math...as long as you burn 500 calories more than you consume per day you should lose at least a pound a week.

cluffjay

First off, great job losing 30 lbs! I'm new on MFP but have studied a lot about food and nutrition...especially the Zone diet. MFP is a great way to track calories, but there's plenty of evidence that not all Calories are created equal and they affect your body differently. 100 Cal. of simple carbs (say from pasta) will have a dramatically different affect on your body than 100 Cal. of complex carbs (say broccoli). The best diet is a balance of carbs, protein, and fat (40% 30% 30% according to the Zone) with most of the carbs being complex (i.e. high in vegetables). Avoid as much as possible simple sugars and grains (including corn, rice, pasta, etc.).

gochicky

Hi Gypsy Rose. I know it's maddening when progress is slow. It's ok. It's the lifestyle shift that's important, otherwise you'd just gain it all back. What worries me is the pains that your getting in your back and knees. You might want to see if you're wearing the right kind of shoe for your foot. I just started jogging this week. I haven't jogged since I was 15 (27 years ago.) I didn't think I could. It always gave me shin splints, knee and hip pain. I pronate badly.. I don't have arches and my foot rolls in. I did a little research and found a few specialty runner that addressed my issues. Now I can run without pain. (I still hate it though.) Feet that roll too much or too little can cause knee, hip, and back problems. Nothing will deter you more than pain. There isn't much of a science to what you're doing. Just keep your calorie intact around what this site allotted for you.. eventually you'll get there.

gypsyrose64

Oh yea, I just realized I forgot to mention that I got lazy about tracking water, but I do drink all day long.

As for the carbs, I gave up my nightly beer or glass of wine to reduce late night intake, but I guess it begs to question if a calorie is just a calorie... and if pasta for dinner is worse than pasta for lunch. I tried to view this as a lifestyle change, so I wouldn't become a yo-yo dieter. I'm proud that I manage to stick it out this long. I don't think I can realistically give up all bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. (I live in the south and eating gumbo and redbeans with rice is just wrong, LOL)

I probably shouldn't have posted this knowing I was out of control yesterday, but that was an anomaly. I think the bootcamp did something to my appetite, and I could not get enough yesterday.

postrockandcats

With me, it's always been energy in/ energy out; I've never tracked my macros beyond "oh, I had ___ {macro}. Nifty." If I eat less than I burn, I loose consistently. Yes, you were over a few days, but not maintaining weight over according to your dairy. So, it might be a case of you burning fewer/ eating more calories than you think you are.

At the risk of sounding like a commercial, using a FitBit really helped me by letting me have a better idea of what I burn daily. You can get them cheap on eBay.

gypsyrose64

Hi Gypsy Rose. I know it's maddening when progress is slow. It's ok. It's the lifestyle shift that's important, otherwise you'd just gain it all back. What worries me is the pains that your getting in your back and knees. You might want to see if you're wearing the right kind of shoe for your foot. I just started jogging this week. I haven't jogged since I was 15 (27 years ago.) I didn't think I could. It always gave me shin splints, knee and hip pain. I pronate badly.. I don't have arches and my foot rolls in. I did a little research and found a few specialty runner that addressed my issues. Now I can run without pain. (I still hate it though.) Feet that roll too much or too little can cause knee, hip, and back problems. Nothing will deter you more than pain. There isn't much of a science to what you're doing. Just keep your calorie intact around what this site allotted for you.. eventually you'll get there.

Now that you mention it, I inherited my grandmother's feet. Somewhat flat and ankles want to roll in sometimes. Will have to research this more. Thanks for mentioning it. I saw a neurologist and had MRI... and he couldn't tell me why I was in pain. So it's hard to fix something when you don't know what's wrong.

gypsyrose64

With me, it's always been energy in/ energy out; I've never tracked my macros beyond "oh, I had ___ {macro}. Nifty." If I eat less than I burn, I loose consistently. Yes, you were over a few days, but not maintaining weight over according to your dairy. So, it might be a case of you burning fewer/ eating more calories than you think you are.

At the risk of sounding like a commercial, using a FitBit really helped me by letting me have a better idea of what I burn daily. You can get them cheap on eBay.

It's a big guessing game sometimes on the calories in and calories out. I am OCD about tracking, but sometimes I'm estimating because I'm a restaurant or someone's house for dinner. I have an HRM for those moments when I'm really exercising, but I do think a FitBit might help considering how much time I'm locked down to a seat every day.
I'll keep my eye out for one.

cluffjay

You do not have to give up anything permanently, but if you want to lose weight the complex carbs with adequate protein are the way to go. If you're current diet is working then keep on going, but if it's not then maybe something needs to change.

heybales

So the almost 1600 TDEG was based on a TDEE of no exercise being done, just sedentary lifestyle.

The logging sheet appears, sometimes, to show eating back exercise calories then, correct?

Is it possible to do a more TDEE deficit approach that includes the exercise so you don't have this bad potential of really incorrect HRM calorie burns that you are eating back?

Is routine steady enough to allow that at all?

gypsyrose64

Yea, I wouldn't say this is "working"... maybe for maintaining, but it's not getting me where I need to go. I run a tight budget and feed a family, so it's a work-in-progress trying to figure out how to do that and eat within my goals. Some days I'm so broke, a jar of sauce and pasta(I did switch to ground turkey!) is all I can whip up for us. So I measure everything out and track it. I've cut back tremendously, but not enough it seems.

So I'm basically supposed to live on chicken, fish, vegetables and water if I want to lose... awesome.
yea, yea, quit yer whining! lol

LassoOfTruth

With me, it's always been energy in/ energy out; I've never tracked my macros beyond "oh, I had ___ {macro}. Nifty." If I eat less than I burn, I loose consistently. Yes, you were over a few days, but not maintaining weight over according to your dairy. So, it might be a case of you burning fewer/ eating more calories than you think you are.

At the risk of sounding like a commercial, using a FitBit really helped me by letting me have a better idea of what I burn daily. You can get them cheap on eBay.

It's a big guessing game sometimes on the calories in and calories out. I am OCD about tracking, but sometimes I'm estimating because I'm a restaurant or someone's house for dinner. I have an HRM for those moments when I'm really exercising, but I do think a FitBit might help considering how much time I'm locked down to a seat every day.
I'll keep my eye out for one.

I just want to second the FitBit. I've been using the zip now for about 2 months. I just slip it on my bra and when I get home from work (my job is also sedentary, unless I'm out of the office) I check it, and if I haven't hit my goal (4 miles or 10,000 steps) I just go outside and walk for 20 minutes, 30... an hour.... however long it takes me to hit that 4 miles. I also have started cutting out carbs... and I get that whole "you're from the South, it's sacriligous" thing. Lolz. I'm Italian... all we eat is pasta, bread and pasta. Hahahaha.... Either way, great job on the weight you've lost thus far. Just be patient, it'll all come off. I've been dieting since March 2012.... UGH.... Lolz....

gypsyrose64

So the almost 1600 TDEG was based on a TDEE of no exercise being done, just sedentary lifestyle.

The logging sheet appears, sometimes, to show eating back exercise calories then, correct?

Is it possible to do a more TDEE deficit approach that includes the exercise so you don't have this bad potential of really incorrect HRM calorie burns that you are eating back?

Is routine steady enough to allow that at all?

I'm just too inconsistent with workouts to build in activity to the TDEE. Like this week, I was all gungho about that bootcamp, and I didn't eat back calories at end of Tuesday. Wednesday comes and I was out of control starving all day; hence the 2000 intake. Then this morning I wake up with backpain and there was no way I could stand another round of bootcamp in this heat. Shooting for 2x next week if back permits.

I started out the beginning of this month dropping a couple pounds, and the minute I started getting serious about exercise again... the scales reversed and I gained a couple. I look for trends, so I weigh every morning. I know it's water retention, but the bigger picture is I've been stuck for months.

I will add this caveat. Weight hasn't changed much, but I dropped inches in midsection this month. I attribute losing the booze to that one. I try not to overestimate "burns" and don't even log stuff half the time... like 20 min yoga sessions won't even show up on the sheet.

Most of the time, I don't eat back calories unless I exercised with the intent to splurge (like father's day dinner). Since I know the next day I might be a little over, I don't sweat the days I'm under.

postrockandcats

With me, it's always been energy in/ energy out; I've never tracked my macros beyond "oh, I had ___ {macro}. Nifty." If I eat less than I burn, I loose consistently. Yes, you were over a few days, but not maintaining weight over according to your dairy. So, it might be a case of you burning fewer/ eating more calories than you think you are.

At the risk of sounding like a commercial, using a FitBit really helped me by letting me have a better idea of what I burn daily. You can get them cheap on eBay.

It's a big guessing game sometimes on the calories in and calories out. I am OCD about tracking, but sometimes I'm estimating because I'm a restaurant or someone's house for dinner. I have an HRM for those moments when I'm really exercising, but I do think a FitBit might help considering how much time I'm locked down to a seat every day.
I'll keep my eye out for one.

Yeah, I guess too some meals, depending on where I am. The only nice thing about large chain restaurants is that they have their nutrition info available! The local joints don't, but I sure prefer the food!

This is all fuzzy science, so we can't be 100% exact all the time. Do your best as much as you can and figure out good ways to stay within your goal while still living how you want to live. Beer at night? Maybe one instead of 2-3 and smaller portions of other things. Things like that!

gypsyrose64

@ postro ...... I was in a habit of having 16-24 oz Coors light or 5-8 oz of merlot every night to help me get to sleep (insomniac here). I added up all the calories from alcohol in one month, and it was 4,000 calories!!! I swore off my nightly treat until I get under 200... (now I'm having fits trying to sleep)

@heybales ... I didn't really answer your question, sorry.... yes, I used your spreadsheet and kept it completely sedentary (x1.2) so i could get a baseline for TDEE. Then I track big burns with the HRM and eat back maybe half (if at all).

Love_Is_My_Fuel

I was seriously addicted to carbs back before I started...had them with every meal..tons of bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. I started gradually limiting them and then stopped eating them all together 3 months ago. On my cheat meal every Sunday I have a baked potato but will probably not eat rice or pasta until I'm at my goal weight. I've completely changed my eating routine around and feel amazing now. I have so much more energy eating "clean" and don't feel overly full anymore. I'm not tired through the day, my hair is healthy and my skin has less breakouts. If I can do it..you can do it...I feed a family of 4 on a set budget. You will feel amazing if you start limiting the pasta, bread and rice especially.

heybales

@ postro ...... I was in a habit of having 16-24 oz Coors light or 5-8 oz of merlot every night to help me get to sleep (insomniac here). I added up all the calories from alcohol in one month, and it was 4,000 calories!!! I swore off my nightly treat until I get under 200... (now I'm having fits trying to sleep)

@heybales ... I didn't really answer your question, sorry.... yes, I used your spreadsheet and kept it completely sedentary (x1.2) so i could get a baseline for TDEE. Then I track big burns with the HRM and eat back maybe half (if at all).

So not actually following the spreadsheet - and undereating.

Give it a chance to do it right.

Log EVERYTHING over a sedentary life, even mowing the yard and cleaning for long periods, enter the burn and the time, and eat back what it says to eat back - if you want to do that method.

You still have a suppressed metabolism probably, because you've still been undereating for your level of activity.

You are thinking you are playing it safe, but you are just shooting yourself in the metabolism.

If you follow the reasonable deficit given, the macros given, you don't need to exercise to lose weight, and actually retain muscle mass in this case.
Exercise would merely raise your TDEE and 20% deficit of a bigger number is more lost. Or whatever deficit is recommended.

But too steep a deficit, and you can get what you got, or worse, you do lose weight slowly and its mainly muscle mass.

gypsyrose64

Well today was official check-in today for me, even though I weigh daily. One of those mornings where I just want to stop eating all together. I hate what food has done to my life. I wake up and go to bed worrying about every freaking calorie, only to GAIN. I actually GAINED weight over the this month, trying to do things right! WTF?!

I am emotional this morning, so forgive me for sounding weak. I thought I was doing something this month... what a joke.

Heybales, even though the spreadsheet had my BMR at 1573, I had set my goals at 1400 trying to compensate for over-estimating. I still averaged 1477 for the month, so I didn't think I was "under" BMR by much. With that said, I wasn't logging activity unless it was extreme.

Maybe the problem is I'm more active than I give myself credit for. I have 1.5 acres to maintain and work in yard on weekends. I walk two blocks to work from a parking garage every day. I do exercise here and there, but it seemed silly to log 100 cal burn here and there.

Is it really "possible" that I'm under-eating?? (not arguing, just hard to wrap my head around it)

In my mind this morning, it feels hopeless... like I'll just be one of the cursed that thinks she's doing something, while she spinning her wheels. Nothing like starting a Friday off crying over this ****...sigh

OK, I'll try it your way and see what happens. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

gypsyrose64

Well I bawled all the way to work (30 min commute) and then sat another 15 min in the parking lot trying to get over myself. TGIF!

Anyways, I'm over that and on to what next.

On HeyBales recommendation, I'll give the TDEE-20% a shot for the month of July.

I put all my #s in the spreadsheet, and it says my BMR is 1579 based on 42% bodyfat.
(MFP calculates my BMR @ 1598)

The 40/30/30 rule sets my goals to the following: Carbs(158g) Fat(53g) Protein(118g)

Considering the math said I should have lost 4#s this month, and I basically "maintained" again -- eating more goes against every fiber in my stressed out head. With that said, I trust his judgement and seen others succeed doing this. Still scares the crap out of me. EIGHT MONTHS of effort, and little results to show for it. (many would say that means I'm not trying hard enough or full of it)

I am reading on the Keto diet and might adjust my macro's to a lower carb/higher fat ratio. I'm leery, because I don't have a gallbladder and eating more fatty meats tends to wrack my digestive system. I ran the #s on a keto website, and they are saying I should only eat 25g of "net carbs" (total carbs-fiber) a day. That seems seriously difficult to do, but I guess it can't hurt to slowly reduce net-carbs over time by reducing breads/pasta/rice.

Will come back here in a few weeks and post an update.

kts3639

I won't be any help regarding your weight loss (going to leave that to the more knowledgeable regarding your specific situation). But, I just wanted to let you know what helped me in regards to knee/lower back problems. I have had lots of pain in my knees (used to wake me up/keep me up at night). I was a dancer for 6 years throughout middle school and high school. I also had lower back issues for a few years since I had my first pregnancy (lower back started to get stiff, could hardly bend when just doing dishes for ten minutes).

Well, I started off my journey doing cardio, including Jillian Michaels DVD's. My knees and back would ache like no other after cardio. There were certain exercises I flat out couldn't do because it made my knees hurt so bad. Seven weeks ago, I picked up weight lifting, doing mostly compound lifts (squats, deadlifts, OHP, bench press, rows, etc.). I kid you not, my knees and back have never felt better! I just did one of the Jillian Michaels DVD's that I haven't done since I started lifting, and not only could I do everything, but my knees didn't hurt! I swear by lifting not only from the results I've gotten regarding body composition, but also for how much it has strengthened me.

I know you said that you aren't able to go to the gym and lift due to money right now, but when you are able to again, I really think it will end up helping a ton with your aches and pains Just wanted to give you some hope in that regard. Good luck with your journey!

larsensue

Hey gypsy, hang in there! there are a tone of us out here who are stuck losing NO weight and actually gaining on ocasion. I feel your pain! have you had your thyroid, hormones, etc tested?

gypsyrose64

@larsensue - about 8 months ago I had bloodwork done and only thing wrong was I was seriously low on Vit-D... doc had me take an RX of like 40,000iu in one pill. I felt better while I was on it, but ran out and didn't get a refill. It's about time to get rechecked on all that stuff.

@kts3639 - I started doing heavier weights before I let the gym go. Squats and DL scared me with my back/knees. I would do them, but I don't think my form was good (too much leaning forward, too much gut, seemed off balance). I'm so round in the middle, that I could not seem to bend at the right spots. I'm going to get some kettle-bells for the house, and work on form for now. Hopefully I'll be able to rejoin the gym this fall and be in better shape for doing it right. I had gotten bench press up to 70# x 5. OHP and rows were a struggle to get the bar up once. Too chicken to even try DL with my back. I like moving weights around, but I don't think if I'm ready for the big plates yet. Might have to get form right using bodyweight for now.

@Diem78 - there is some magic formula for "me".... I just have to keep trying different strategies until I discover it. This morning was just one of those meltdowns from frustration.

heybales

Well I bawled all the way to work (30 min commute) and then sat another 15 min in the parking lot trying to get over myself. TGIF!

Anyways, I'm over that and on to what next.

On HeyBales recommendation, I'll give the TDEE-20% a shot for the month of July.

I put all my #s in the spreadsheet, and it says my BMR is 1579 based on 42% bodyfat.
(MFP calculates my BMR @ 1598)

The 40/30/30 rule sets my goals to the following: Carbs(158g) Fat(53g) Protein(118g)

Considering the math said I should have lost 4#s this month, and I basically "maintained" again -- eating more goes against every fiber in my stressed out head. With that said, I trust his judgement and seen others succeed doing this. Still scares the crap out of me. EIGHT MONTHS of effort, and little results to show for it. (many would say that means I'm not trying hard enough or full of it)

I am reading on the Keto diet and might adjust my macro's to a lower carb/higher fat ratio. I'm leery, because I don't have a gallbladder and eating more fatty meats tends to wrack my digestive system. I ran the #s on a keto website, and they are saying I should only eat 25g of "net carbs" (total carbs-fiber) a day. That seems seriously difficult to do, but I guess it can't hurt to slowly reduce net-carbs over time by reducing breads/pasta/rice.

Will come back here in a few weeks and post an update.

It's tough. The alternative would be to cut a further 250 calories daily, and see how long you really lose 1 lb every 2 weeks.
My bet, maybe 1/2 lb the first week. Then nothing as metabolism slowed even more.
But it might make a big mental point if you need it.

But then have to correct an even further suppression back up, that would be the negative, and a waste of yet another 2 weeks.

Since you are still going on the method of including nothing beyond sedentary desk job for 40 hrs, you do need to remember to eat back exercise calories with same deficit.
So use that section on the MFP Tweak tab.

Now, I'd suggest you look at what beyond sedentary is done every week, like walking dogs, mowing lawn, ect. Enter that in the Activity Calculator so you don't have to worry about what it really burns or eating it back.
If it's consistent the majority of time - include it. It's easier that way.
Then go back to the MFP Tweak tab and change that BMR multiplier for what is estimated.
Increase the goals, macros may change.

But I'd only change one thing at a time. I know you don't do much cardio, so carbs not as needed, but going in to keto is a stress on the body, and yours is obviously already very stressed. I'd leave that to another month.
Shoot, to unstress your body at this point, you may even need to make the deficit less for a couple weeks, or nothing.

Be prepared for fast water weight gain, proving that you have been living with depleted glucose stores this whole time.
But that great, glucose and attached water being put back is increased LBM, that means increased metabolism, that's a great thing.

Keto at this point is just going to drop water weight, because of less glucose stores, and slow your metabolism down further for that reason alone. You don't need that right now.

gypsyrose64

It's tough. The alternative would be to cut a further 250 calories daily, and see how long you really lose 1 lb every 2 weeks. My bet, maybe 1/2 lb the first week. Then nothing as metabolism slowed even more.
But it might make a big mental point if you need it.

But then have to correct an even further suppression back up, that would be the negative, and a waste of yet another 2 weeks.

Since you are still going on the method of including nothing beyond sedentary desk job for 40 hrs, you do need to remember to eat back exercise calories with same deficit.
So use that section on the MFP Tweak tab.

Now, I'd suggest you look at what beyond sedentary is done every week, like walking dogs, mowing lawn, ect. Enter that in the Activity Calculator so you don't have to worry about what it really burns or eating it back.
If it's consistent the majority of time - include it. It's easier that way.
Then go back to the MFP Tweak tab and change that BMR multiplier for what is estimated.
Increase the goals, macros may change.

But I'd only change one thing at a time. I know you don't do much cardio, so carbs not as needed, but going in to keto is a stress on the body, and yours is obviously already very stressed. I'd leave that to another month.
Shoot, to unstress your body at this point, you may even need to make the deficit less for a couple weeks, or nothing.

Be prepared for fast water weight gain, proving that you have been living with depleted glucose stores this whole time.
But that great, glucose and attached water being put back is increased LBM, that means increased metabolism, that's a great thing.

Keto at this point is just going to drop water weight, because of less glucose stores, and slow your metabolism down further for that reason alone. You don't need that right now.

No, I can't see myself cutting back anymore and keeping my head straight right now. I'm under enough stress at work, and life is kicking me in the balls financially. (Teenage daughter in college, not working, living at home and about to break me.) Matter of fact, since I made a real effort to drop cals in the 1400 range (15 out of 27 days I succeeded), I've been consistently fatigued and depressed. Lacking happy hormones or drive to do much besides monitor my intake/output and beat myself up when I don't see results. I don't like my days revolving around whether I fail myself again. I dropped to 210 briefly this month and think it was dehydration. I was over the top happy to see that, and then it went poof when I started guzzling water and working out in the heat.

I don't want short term success with rebound failure. I don't want a plan I can't keep up with. I like to be flexible enough to go have a margarita with a friend once a month, and not feel like I should be flogged for it. In the long run, I want to live life in moderation, but still gain a better body and mind. I'll stick with something balanced and realistic.

I might have to PM you about that spreadsheet... there are some parts to it that boggle my brain.
Thanks again...... /crossing fingers