Need Real Opinions

vadersaysno

Back in October my wife and I suggested to my best friend getting together with him and his girlfriend (who we aren't very fond of) for a pot-luck style dinner since they are having financial difficulties. The whole thing had gone by the wayside until just a few weeks ago when he brought it back up to my wife saying how much I wanted this to happen (I hadn't mentioned it since October mind you). Apparently he had already started planning his and his gf's part of the menu and said something to my wife at a party (she had been drinking and I wasn't even in the room where the conversation was happening- I had no involvement). In recent discussions, I've also mentioned how wife and I are starting to clean up our diets and how I really need to focus on that since I've been doing well going to the gym.

He texts me the other day and asked when we're doing the dinner because he's already bought his stuff. I could be wrong, but I generally thought you decide on the date, then buy the food. Anyway... I asked what he was planning on making. He decided to make mac n' cheese and tomato soup. Wife had the follow-up question regarding the soup being made with cream, which he said it "only" has 1 cup of cream and the mac n cheese has "only" 12 ounces of cheese per serving which he said "isnt bad and is fine". Keep in mind the following:

1. The doctor has told him that he is at extreme risk for heart failure and needs to diet. We've already expressed concern for him.
2. In the 23+ years that he and I have known each other, he knows I hate mac n cheese and I don't eat tomato soup (never have...can't stand it).
3. I've already expressed to him that our diets are mainly meat and veggies and that pasta, sugar, cheese, etc is out.

He's obviously not getting the hint, so please give opinions. Right now my gut says just eat what wife and I take over and then look like an a-hole and not eat what they make since they aren't respecting or acknowledging our diets/goals.


Oh- I forgot to mention that his girlfriend decided that she's making dessert.

lakebett2248

This reminds me of a story I was once told about the Franciscan Monks. These men lived largely on the generosity of others. They were told to never turn down a gift - even if it was something they didn't like/want. When you are offered something someone is making a sacrifice (no matter how little). I'd say go over with your meal. Primarily eat that but also take a little of your friends meal. A bit here and there will not wreck your diet and you will be honoring your friend.

Thisnameischosen

Well I would go because it sounds like he really wants it to happen! But since he knows you don't like what he has made just don't eat it. Or even just try a little bit and say "hey man thanks for this it looks great, you know I'm not very keen in these but I will try some saying as how you went to all the effort" Then take something healthy for you and your wife to have, maybe you will inspire them??

StacyChrz

12 ounces of cheese.....per serving? My arteries are hardening just thinking about it. I know you say he's your best friend but it doesn't sound like he is taking anyone's health seriously. I think you need to be honest with him, that you and your wife don't care for those foods and they do not fit in with your lifestyle. I would also remind him that you're concerned about his health in the process. If he doesn't understand that you should just take a step back. I have learned over the years that some friends aren't supportive of our efforts to do things to better ourselves because it makes them feel bad about themselves. Sometimes you just have to walk away.