Changing myself for the better

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Today I looked at myself, like actually stared at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. Stretch marks, cellulite, rolls, etc. I hated it every but if it. I decided that enough is enough. Why should I continue destroying myself? I want to ice skate but I've been to afraid to go in fear of falling and not being able to get back up. I went to sky zone with friends and I jumped in the foam pit and could not get out. It was so embarrassing! I couldn't get out because I couldn't move my own body weight. I weighed so much that all the foams got squished which made it impossible for me to get out. The worker had to get a step stool and my friends finally pulled me out after 10 minutes. We all laughed and continued to have a gray time after but on the inside I was devastated. I've been afraid to to go to the carnival or sixflags because of that incident. What if I go on the ride? Will I fit? Will they have to tell me to leave because I am to big? It scared the life out of me.

All my life I have struggled with my weight. This is the heaviest I have ever been. I think I got way too comfortable with my boyfriend because he says he loves me no matter how I look but I've decided to get healthy for me and my health. I recently turned 20 and I know one day I would want a child but with my current weight of 300 I know that would be risky for me and my child. I want to go on rides in six flags, I want to not be squished when I go to Celtics game like I was a couple of weeks ago, I want to do normal things again. I want to go shopping in the normal people section for once!!

Enough is enough!

Who's with me? Who wants to change for the better? Who wants to change not for anyone else but for YOURSELF? Who wants to be healthy physically and mentally?

I know I do! Now who's with me!!!!!????

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