Afraid to lose??

eeede

Hello everyone,

I'm a 27 yo girl.

I started my journey at 265 lbs and have lost almost 77lbs (CW 187/188lbs), and that's great. I feel much better, a big part of it thanks to MFP and its fabulous community.

I had lost weight before and even got lower than that. But it seems like, around 180lbs, I feel I have to sabotage myself.
I've been there 3 times, 3 times and I gave up and I didn't know really why at this exact same moment (around 180lbs, always).

I always thought it was plateau that made me give up (and I guess it's partially true).
I have read about plateau here and understand it better now. I also try to see my journey as a road to health and not just aim for weight loss (which makes plateau very frustrating).

But, as I am more than half way of my goal (first was to be at 90kg (199lbs) at the end of 2015), now my next goal is to be 65kg (144lbs) for my birthday in May. I realised that today and it freaked me.

Obviously I want to lose the weight, but it's like I've never been there (last time was when I was 14) and am afraid. It's ridiculous but I guess it explains (partially) my past failures.

Has anyone ever been on that situation???

ChocFiend

I'm going to add you then I'll private message you if that's ok

eeede

Thanks i just added you!

4quackers

oh yeah, you are not alone there! the extra weight can be a 'comfort' barrier. the extra attention, comments, activity when weight is lost can be overwhelming, as they are likely less familiar to someone who is overweight. and then there's the potential for your own behavior to go a bit 'crazy' with all the new attention. that was always my protection..."if i'm less attractive then i'll know why i get less attention" or sometimes, just the opposite, "if i'm less attractive then they must really like me if they're giving me attention". i never addressed if i actually liked myself! the fear of success is very real. my best wishes for you.

eeede

I had never thought about this that way.

I don't even know what I'm afraid of it sounds so silly! I will try to enjoy even more the journey and the health

massaoli

Do something healthy everyday, don't think too much ahead, enjoy the journey. Celebrate little accomplishments. I also was afraid of failure, this time I am less afraid and each time I feel more confident. Wish you all the best.

woznube7

Completely!! It has held me back so much, but this time i'm powering through. You can do it!!

bri170lb

Veeeeeeery interesting thought!

I have always been overweight. I am right now at my lowest weight since I was 14, 179 (started at 300).

I, too, have lost weight twice before, gotten to about 180 and then quit and gained it all back.

It does scare me a bit to be at this weight and to imagine what it would be like to actually weigh 150. It's like I am stepping off a ledge into a dark unknown place.

HOWEVER!!!!! Please don't do what I did at the age of 30. Don't give up on weightloss and miss out on so many possibilities in life because of your weight. I waited all the way to 50 to start again and I do regret it now.

Be brave and go the distance! We can do it!

tulips_and_tea

Congrats on your success so far! That's great! Remember that it takes the brain a while to catch up with the new body size, so be patient and give yourself time to adjust.

Since that ONE number (180) has tripped you up 3 times, DECIDE right now that you will not let it do that this time. Yes, it's a great goal, but it IS just a number. Once you get there again take the time to see how it feels and adjust to it. Then go to 175 and do the same. Rinse, repeat until you reach a comfortable weight range.

eeede

Thanks everyone for the lovely support and friend requests.
I'm glad to see Im not alone in here.

I try to take it step by step, one day at the time. I couldn't wait to go back to where I'm now, to be able to move, to sleep well... And now I take it sloooooow. Never could have believed that, as I'm generaly a very impatient person!! ^^

But today I went to the physiotherapist because of water retention and she said it'll give me a boost and that for someone with weight to lose, my skin was pretty good which made my day.

akatiffany

I understand completely! I have been feeling this way all week and it's been rather troubling. Sometimes I don't even think it's possible for me to lose weight because I've never done it before. But each week I count my calories and somehow the number on the scale keeps going down. I don't have any advice since I'm right there with you but keep it up, it's going to be amazing!