That cut to the core

AmandaAnne307
AmandaAnne307 Posts: 113 Member
in Motivation and Support
My daughter (6) and my husband are both very thin - they don't have to try they are and always will be thin. I try to make a point not to talk about weight around my daughter at all, I just think it set her up for a negative self image later.

Anyway, my husband and I were talking last night and he commented on how his legs were too thin. I said, "Oh, what a problem to have." and laughed. My daughter then looks at me and says, "Well mom, you're fat but I still love you."

I know she was just being honest - that's what 6 years old do - but man, ouch...makes me want to go to Taco Bell and load up.

:frown:

Replies

  • LisaD1025
    LisaD1025 Posts: 74 Member
    Yikes.... I have a 5 year old, and she's made similar comments. I *try* to use it as motivation, but it still hurts. A lot.

    Ahh....from the mouths of babes.... :(
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Yes, my 6 year old told me I was "as fat as a pig" once. Yes, it hurt, and I didn't like it. BUT I also explained to her that telling someone that isn't very nice even if it is true, and it hurt Mommy's feelings. 6 year olds haven't figured out "tact" yet.
  • ninjakitty419
    ninjakitty419 Posts: 349 Member
    My 4 year old and I were driving down the road and saw a tractor.

    "Mom! That tractor is big like you!"

    My husband is thin and my daughter said one time

    "Daddy is itty bitty like me but mommy is not."

    My husband thinks its funny...I dont.
  • jazzygurl81
    jazzygurl81 Posts: 62 Member
    Awww...a few years ago my friend came over to my house for dinner and brought her 5-yr-old. I was watching Biggest Loser, and when she asked me what I was watching, I told her what it was. And she cheerfully exclaimed, "YOU should go on Biggest Loser!" Honestly, I actually laughed, because I know she didn't really understand. But I've certainly been in much, much, much worse situations where kids (and teens...and adults...) say the darndest things.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Hugs... And six year olds can be taught manners - even if it won't sink in yet.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    She may be 5 but should know not to comment on others looks or weight. Thinness may bot be an issue, however she may need some guidance on what we say to others and what we dont. Does she comment on children with health disabilities?
  • KarlaH9801
    KarlaH9801 Posts: 362 Member
    My kids have referred to me as " the big momma". But, you know what, the whole reason of being here on MFP is to no longer be big mama. Kids are truthfully honest, more so than we want them to. They just call it as they see it.
  • coffeejen26
    coffeejen26 Posts: 16
    I am a preschool teacher and often and asked if there is a baby in my tummy.I am not pregnant, but carry all my weight in my mid section. Its a great teachng moment, but it really sucks.
  • JustPeachy044
    JustPeachy044 Posts: 770 Member
    I had a kindergartner ask me once, "who wrote all over your legs?" (veins) They are painfully blunt and part of growing up is learning manners. It hurts, yeah, but it's also one of the reasons I love working with them. They say it how they see it, and when one says, "I love you." and "You are pretty.", I can know they aren't feeding me bull. Goes both ways!
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    My kids have referred to me as " the big momma". But, you know what, the whole reason of being here on MFP is to no longer be big mama. Kids are truthfully honest, more so than we want them to. They just call it as they see it.

    Exactly
  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
    My youngest son, who is 7, often tells me that I'm fat and need to go on a diet (I don't talk diets or weight with him, so I'm not sure where he picked that up). I have actually used it as a teaching moment and had a conversation with him about how it's important to be respectful of others and to not make fun of what they look like. The kid seriously has verbal diarrhea, so the last thing I would want is for him to say this to a complete stranger!

    I know it can be an incredibly hurtful thing for you to hear, but know that your daughter loves you and you are setting an amazing example for her with your lifestyle change. Just keep at it, and one of these days you will hear her tell you how proud of you she is and how pretty you are!
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    And this is exactly why I work my *kitten* off to get in shape so I never have to hear this from my daughter.
  • anne2605
    anne2605 Posts: 482 Member
    My 15 year old son has, for years, told me I was "podgy". He'd poke me in the gut as he said it. I always got angry with him for being so rude to me. The truth was I was angry with myself for allowing myself to become such a slob. It took me many more years to actually do something about it and him doing that to me contributed to my finally taking action. He told me he didn't say it to hurt my feelings, he told me 'cause he was concerned for me and didn't want me to get any fatter. He watches the news and sees the programmes where people struggle with their weight and the, sometimes, fatal consequences. He didn't want that for me. Now I'm thinner my son gives me lots of hugs (never been one to do so before) and he tells me how proud he is of me for losing the weight.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    She may be 5 but should know not to comment on others looks or weight. Thinness may bot be an issue, however she may need some guidance on what we say to others and what we dont. Does she comment on children with health disabilities?

    ^^^ this is important, while I agree that comments like this from little kids are totally innocent and shouldn't be taken personally (most little kids think their mother is the most beautiful woman in the world and if they say "mummy is fat" they mean "my beautiful mummy is fat and that's beautiful")............ BUT they definitely should be taught about what is or is not appropriate to say to other people.

    Also, if kids this young are saying comments like that and meaning it in a nasty way, then I'd be questioning where they picked up these attitudes... is one of the kids at nursery school being bullied for being fat? ... is someone else in the family making nasty comments about fat people?

    This article is worth reading: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/8760102/When-your-mother-says-shes-fat
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    my kids tell me i look great compared to their friend's moms.

    :smile:

    just keep working out, keep eating right and, eventually, your kids will say that.
    and when they do you'll feel fantastic!
  • AmandaAnne307
    AmandaAnne307 Posts: 113 Member
    She may be 5 but should know not to comment on others looks or weight. Thinness may bot be an issue, however she may need some guidance on what we say to others and what we dont. Does she comment on children with health disabilities?

    ^^^ this is important, while I agree that comments like this from little kids are totally innocent and shouldn't be taken personally (most little kids think their mother is the most beautiful woman in the world and if they say "mummy is fat" they mean "my beautiful mummy is fat and that's beautiful")............ BUT they definitely should be taught about what is or is not appropriate to say to other people.

    Also, if kids this young are saying comments like that and meaning it in a nasty way, then I'd be questioning where they picked up these attitudes... is one of the kids at nursery school being bullied for being fat? ... is someone else in the family making nasty comments about fat people?

    This article is worth reading: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/8760102/When-your-mother-says-shes-fat

    Thank you - great article! We have talked about commenting on other looks and weight, and how everyone is different and that's okay. She is a great kid and doesn't comment to those with disabilities - but her dad and I are open to any questions at any time from her. So when we get home she usually has questions for us and we encourage that so -hopefully- she always feels like she can talk to us. But she was right - and that's what hurt. Not that she was trying to be mean, but more that I let myself get to this point.

    Thanks to everyone for the commiseration and advise - I'm sticking to this and one day she'll look back and know how hard I worked to do this. And I'm finally to the point that I'm doing this for me and not because I want others to think I'm cute. However, that will be nice too.
  • Chemburly12
    Chemburly12 Posts: 53
    My 5 year old nephew once told me not too worry about being big cuz I was "skinny where the dimples are". While it did make me laugh, it was my "I need to get my act together" moment.

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