Burned out and need advice

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  • ashowers36
    ashowers36 Posts: 83 Member
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    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    become a morning person

    This was not helpful advice. Please see previous comments about mornings.
    Elegra2006 wrote: »
    Small steps will get you where you want to be. Even though you have desk jobs, try to increase your daily steps... go the long way round to the printer, take the stairs instead of the lift, walk to the water machine every hour.

    Set yourself an achievable goal, maybe you're not ready at the moment to get home, get changed, get out, go exercise.

    So how about, get home, do a 10-20 minute exercise video (free on YouTube or Fitness Blender) - you can choose one that's simple and easy. Doesn't require any equipment. Aim to do that three times a week.

    Then it's 7pm and plenty of time to make dinner and relax.

    Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to turn your life around in a day, it's not going to happen. Super small changes will make you feel better and will spur you own to perhaps then progress to 30 minute work-outs four times a week and so on.

    Good luck, you can do it!

    This has probably been the best advice. Maybe I am trying to change too much too soon. I just need to sit down and maybe rethink my workout schedule. I think I am probably overwhelming myself with trying to change/break so many old habits at once and this is probably setting me up to fail at what I am trying to achieve.

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  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,716 Member
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    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Working out does help with the depression and anxiety as I noticed that in the past. It also seems to help me sleep better as well. Those are some of the main reasons I want to find a way to deal with my burned out state when I get home from work.

    I wish I could find an accountability buddy. My husband also needs to lose some serious weight but I can't seem to get him motivated to do so. He would rather sit at his computer playing games on his days off and he really hasn't been helping with the house work much either. Which makes me feel even more stressed out and overwhelmed coming home to a dirty house day in and day out. All of my friends have kids and live at least 15 minutes away so I can't really use them as accountability buddies either.

    To give you guys an idea of my weekly schedule I wake up at 6:50 am to get ready for work. I work my two jobs from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm. By the time I get home it is around 6:30pm. And because I am so tired a lot of the house work doesn't get done until the weekend, since my spouse doesn't seem inclined to help me out there, so I do house chores all weekend. I never really feel rested or relaxed at all and it has been like this for a couple of years now.

    Also on a side note any suggestions about eating supper when I get home? I don't know if I should eat supper when I get home or wait until after I workout. I know it isn't good to eat too late or too close to bed time but like I said I don't get home until 6:300 in the evening.

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    Have you talked to him about this? Directly and non-confrontationally? We all have different "standards" of clean around the house, so I'd talk to him about this. Decide what chores you will do and what chores he will do and be specific. Carrying this burden around and not addressing it will only weigh you down.

    As far as exercise goes, start small. Do you intend to workout at home? Is a gym a possibility? If you prefer to work out at home then set your workout clothes out in the AM. Put them on immediately when you get home. It's all about mindset and habit.
  • Elegra2006
    Elegra2006 Posts: 144 Member
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    Glad you found my advice potentially useful. The smallest of changes can be all that's needed to create new habits.

    Do something that will be achievable for you, if that's 10 mins twice a week then fine, it's a start! The rest will follow as long as you keep reaching your goals and setting new ones.
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
    edited January 2016
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    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Thanks for all the helpful suggestions. I think some of you are right about the sitting down part when I get home. First thing I always do is go up to my room and change into something more comfortable. The minute I do I am in trouble because then all I want to do is lay in bed. I know some of you strongly suggest getting up even ten minutes earlier in the morning to exercise but it just really isn't an option for me. I sleep poorly as it is waking up many times throughout the night. I only get 6.5 to 7 hours a sleep on average so I need every single second of sleep that I can get just so I can function through my work day without falling asleep at work or on the drive to and from home.

    I should have mentioned that I do deal with depression and anxiety so when those flare up it can be even harder to find the motivation because all I want to do is stay in bed an sleep.

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    Well we could be twins. I can't get up any earlier than I do, and even if I did, I simply have ZERO energy in the morning. Believe me, I've tried and tried to do some workout in the morning, and it just doesn't happen. So, I bring my gym bag with me to work and go straight to the gym before I go home. I work Mon-Fri, and only go to the gym 2 days during that time - Tues and Thurs. My other gym days are on my days off. I'm lucky in that my hubby is on board with healthy cooking, since he does the cooking 90% of the time. I help with grocery shopping and food prep on the weekends.

    I also deal with depression. However, taking my mild anti-depressant daily is a life-saver. It helps keep me energized and feeling upbeat. Over Xmas I let it run out and I'm paying the price now, waiting to see the doctor. I'm irritable, feeling really down and fighting self-destructive feelings (by that I mean wanting to eat junk and not workout - not hurting myself physically), which is mentally exhausting on top of my mentally exhausting job.

    You'll need to discuss house work and cooking with your family, and also set a schedule for working out. You don't have to spend hours at the gym. Even 30 or 40 minutes will make a big difference. You can do it!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    become a morning person

    This was not helpful advice. Please see previous comments about mornings.


    i'm sorry. instead, try and sleep faster.
  • ashowers36
    ashowers36 Posts: 83 Member
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    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    become a morning person

    This was not helpful advice. Please see previous comments about mornings.


    i'm sorry. instead, try and sleep faster.

    Sleep faster? I feel like you are trying to troll me.
  • oocdc2
    oocdc2 Posts: 1,361 Member
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    Is going straight to the gym/to class after work--not stopping at home--an option? I find that, as soon as I'm home, that it's all over for me, too.
  • BLifts38
    BLifts38 Posts: 248 Member
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    Let me just say... you are absolutely preaching to the choir. I work my full time job and then 3 or 4 hours at my part time job just about every single night during the week... (plus about 10 hours on the weekends as well -- no days off, ever!). I have found that working out in the morning in my only option. Plus, I feel like it sets me up for success the rest of the day! I have a great workout and then I'm ready to bring on whatever the day throws at me. It's hard the first 2 weeks or so, but you find yourself getting into a routine.
  • oocdc2
    oocdc2 Posts: 1,361 Member
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    Something else: you don't have to exercise to lose weight. I've lost 60 pounds with diet alone.
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
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    Eat a snack on the way home and drink water. Then work out ie a short walk or video or whatever floats your boat. Then supper.

    Sounds like time for a talk with your husband. Tell him he needs to do more housework as he lives there.
    Take back some time on weekends for something you enjoy. A hike? a swim? time at gym?
  • rileyes
    rileyes Posts: 1,406 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Actually @Capt_Apollo gave great advice. Get up ten to twenty minutes earlier and whip out a quickie circuit. Get. It. Done. Also what @jemhh suggested can help make it habit. Don't put too much thought into it.
  • pippishortstockings
    pippishortstockings Posts: 18 Member
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    Up until about two months ago, I was working one full time job and a part time evening/weekend job. I never had time to exercise, and wanted nothing more than to go home and flop into bed (I also immediately put on something comfy the moment I walk through the door). Also, I totally understand having a spouse who needs to lose weight but spends all of his time in front of a video game.

    What you DON'T want is to throw yourself into something that is going to make you even more worn out, because you aren't ready for it. I love all the ideas of finding something to do for ten minutes. I would suggest starting by marching in place during commercials, and while your food is cooking. I often find myself stepping side to side while in front of the oven (instead of just standing), or while doing meal prep. Then, if you are watching TV after dinner, stand up and march in place during commercials. Touch your knees to the palms of your hands, and only during commercials. It annoys your spouse? Assimilate or be quiet!

    Also, as far as your sleep, I have struggled with sleepless nights caused by anxiety all my life. What I have found helps me is taking a melatonin (to fall asleep) and a valerian root (to stay asleep) a half hour before bedtime with a full glass of water, and doing some slow stretches. Nothing intense or complicated, just toe touches and shoulder rolling.

    Good luck!
  • ashowers36
    ashowers36 Posts: 83 Member
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    oocdc2 wrote: »
    Is going straight to the gym/to class after work--not stopping at home--an option? I find that, as soon as I'm home, that it's all over for me, too.

    Unfortunately no. I have a pet who needs insulin shots every 12 hours so he needs his shot at 7:00 am and 7:00pm. Also I prefer to work out at home where no one can see me make a fool of myself. lol.

    oocdc2 wrote: »
    Something else: you don't have to exercise to lose weight. I've lost 60 pounds with diet alone.

    I don't want to just lose weight. I used to be a dancer so I have a lot of muscle, especially in the thigh area, that needs to be toned up again as it has become shall we say flabby/weak since I no longer dance and have become extremely less active than I used to be 10 years ago.
  • ashowers36
    ashowers36 Posts: 83 Member
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    Thank you everyone for the helpful advice and tips. I will be sure to try some of these out tonight. To those who suggested that I just get up earlier I understand it works for you but not everyone can handle only 5 hours a sleep a night. I for one cannot. So if someone says that getting up 20-30 minuets extra in the morning is not possible for them please don't keep suggesting it as it will, in my experience anyway, just lead to them not being consistent with the routine and skipping the workout because they are too tired . I work two jobs and I can barely function on the 6 1/2 to 7 hours on average that I get and that is with waking up at least 2 times a night. My sleep is neither quantity or quality. I'd rather have that extra 20-30 minutes of sleep than crash my car on my way home from work because I was too tired to stay awake behind the wheel.

  • elaineously
    elaineously Posts: 40 Member
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    I have had similar problems with being tired and feeling depressed and having a hard time with exercise. I find that working on small steps to do better is the best way to not be overwhelmed by it. You could try using a 3 or 5 pound hand weight to do small arm exercises during commercial breaks while relaxing in front of the TV. Or just sitting on an exercise ball while chilling and doing a few core strengthening moves.

    Also I agree with the person who mentioned that you can make a lot of weight loss progress with just getting your food intake dialed in. Again, don't try to do everything all at once, start with a small improvement like cutting out soda or eating more veggies. Once you feel like you have mastered the first small change then add another. It will eventually add up to good results! If you still need an accountability partner, feel free to add me. I totally understand the added struggle of depression/anxiety on top of trying to loose weight.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,716 Member
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    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Thank you everyone for the helpful advice and tips. I will be sure to try some of these out tonight. To those who suggested that I just get up earlier I understand it works for you but not everyone can handle only 5 hours a sleep a night. I for one cannot. So if someone says that getting up 20-30 minuets extra in the morning is not possible for them please don't keep suggesting it as it will, in my experience anyway, just lead to them not being consistent with the routine and skipping the workout because they are too tired . I work two jobs and I can barely function on the 6 1/2 to 7 hours on average that I get and that is with waking up at least 2 times a night. My sleep is neither quantity or quality. I'd rather have that extra 20-30 minutes of sleep than crash my car on my way home from work because I was too tired to stay awake behind the wheel.

    Sleep is imperative for your mental and physical health. Do you know why your sleep is interrupted? I was sleep deprived for several years and thought I could just deal with it. Not a good idea. Finally made some changes and it took a good year or so to get caught up on quality sleep and get in a good routine. After that I felt like a completely different person! Any way to work on the sleep issues?

    Not saying you need less than you do now, but improving the quality of your sleep could work wonders for you in the long run.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    ashowers36 wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    become a morning person

    This was not helpful advice. Please see previous comments about mornings.


    i'm sorry. instead, try and sleep faster.

    Sleep faster? I feel like you are trying to troll me.

    i'm completely serious. go to bed earlier. get some proper sleep. don't watch tv at night. you need a bedtime routine. mine is getting everything set up for the next day: workout clothes, work clothes, pre-workout snack, set up my coffee pot, brush my teeth, etc. then i read for like, 20 minutes and i'm out like a light.

    i have an alarm set up with a motivating song, and my alarm app requires me to do effing math to shut it off. 90% of the time by the time i get the answer right, i'm awake. i smell the delicious coffee brewing, and i take a moment to go to the bathroom. i pour a cup of coffee and start getting dressed. within twenty minutes of waking up, i'm working out.

    too many people would rather sleep than achieve their goals. i work long hours, and have failed many times at getting in an evening workout. but mornings are all me.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I would just work on your diet at this point. It doesn't sound like you're willing to make any changes to your schedule to accommodate any kind of exercise.
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
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    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    I would just work on your diet at this point. It doesn't sound like you're willing to make any changes to your schedule to accommodate any kind of exercise.

    ^ have to agree at this point.
  • rileyes
    rileyes Posts: 1,406 Member
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    ashowers36 wrote: »
    I work two jobs and by the time I get home it is 6:30 at night and I am just mentally exhausted. All I really want to do is just relax and basically not think or do anything. What I need to do is

    get off my butt and workout. I could really use some advice on who to recharge my batteries when I get home. I am so not a morning person so getting up early to work out has never worked for me in the past.


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    You have to want it. Do not get on your butt until after your workout. Stay. Away. From. The. Couch! Go into it (your exercise) thinking just ten minutes. It may turn into a good workout. And a good workout can get you a good night sleep.

    You. Have. To. Want. It.

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