Irrational Fears

kirstinlee

Does anyone else have totally irrational weight loss-related fears?

I'm constantly fighting my brain over the fact that if I stick with this, I'll continue to lose. All of the women in my family are obese, and many struggle with underactive thyroid glands. While I grew up allowed to eat whatever I wanted -- I was twelve, eating huge double bacon cheeseburgers, whole plates of fries, and Route 44 slushes on the way home -- I was also told that my family's weight woes are purely because of the thyroid issue. I watched my mom and aunt go through this never-ending cycle of "weight watchers... binge eating... fad diet... binge eating... weight watchers... binge eating" my entire childhood.

When I complained about being heavier than other kids, and getting teased for it, I was simply told that I would never, ever be a "skinny minnie" because women in my family aren't built that way. That no matter what I did, I could never be a healthy weight. I logically know better now, but it's so ingrained in my thought process that every day of trying to change my lifestyle is a war. I've given up probably a dozen times over the last five years, because I drop a ton of weight in the first week, and then it starts to slow down. I know it's mostly water weight, and I know I'm not eating enough to actually be gaining anything, but the first time I see a higher number on the scale those things start punching me in the back of the brain... "Mom was right! You're not able to lose weight! You're stuck like this forever!"


Also, I don't know if this is directly related to that or not, but I'm afraid that even if I get to my goal weight, I won't look any different and my clothes won't fit any different. I've been big all my life -- weighed in the 170's in middle school -- so I have no concept of what it would be like to be smaller. I'm down out of the obese range (was only in by a few pounds) and have the entire overweight range to go, so logically, I'm definitely going to look different. But a part of me is really, really scared that I won't.

brb_2013

Your fears aren't irrational, and you are not alone. I have a lifetime of doubts too, but we just have to try. I am struggling with near constant negative talk in my mind- I'm trying to ignore them or at least keep on moving. But I feel like I'm that kid looking at the floor while walking down the hallway at school with all the other kids lining the hall pointing and yelling out all my flaws, every lumpy spot, every hanging inch. It's horrible and debilitating when I let the thoughts creep in too far.

So I just keep on walking. The negative thoughts are along for the ride, but if I keep moving they can't swallow me whole.

sheermomentum

I'd say is a good start that you can identify these thoughts and fears as irrational. Try to keep yourself focused on the rational fact that .5 to 2 pounds per week is exactly the loss that you're looking for. No more than that. Sort through the many threads here that deal with water weight gain - especially those cyclical gains that women have many months. And keep reading them when you start having doubts, just to reinforce your new, healthy, rational mindset!

blossomingbutterfly

I think many of us deal with irrational fears when it comes to weight loss. I think it's great that you're talking about it, posting about it, dealing with them, and not letting them win in the end!

TheChrissyT

My fear is that I'm going to lose all the weight I want to lose and still not love my body. That it will just be a different kind of ugly.

Another is that I will never break this plateau. I've been at it for months. I've worked really hard, and just recently started tracking my calories again because my old plan of attack wasn't working anymore. I lost a substantial amount of weight a few years back, and the weight that I'm at now is where I plateau'd until I got pregnant and regained nearly all the weight I had lost. I still have at least 80lbs to lose, so the thought of struggling here forever is discouraging. I'm stubborn though, and I think this time I am more stubborn than my body is being.

kirstinlee

@TheChrissyT I totally get you on the "loving my body" thing. We have a lot of drug addicts where I live who are super skinny, and a lot of the time when my mind wanders to what I'll look like smaller, that's where it goes. I know that between eating right and strength training I'll look nowhere near that, but it still kind of makes me anxious.

HelenRobertsNZ

Having grown up with a grandmother and schoolmates who always commented negatively about my weight, I can understand those little voices in your head that keep talking LONG after they should have quietened. Maybe find a new focus - think about gaining strength or some goal, with the weight loss as a pleasant side effect. I have a (fairly daft) goal of leg pressing my starting weight.