I'm getting married in 9 months & no motivation!!

shiv020910

Hi all...
I get married in 9 months... I have at least 100lb I could do with loosing but setting myself a more realistic(?) 60-70lb... Problem is I have zero motivation!!
Anybody got any tips?
I lost 50lb in 4 months last year...and I've put it all back on!!

ninerbuff

If you have no motivation, then no one can help you. You can get all the inspiration, encouragement, cheering, etc., but if you don't want to do it, it ain't gonna happen. Why do you not feel like taking this on?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Spook_Nuke_Em

You remember the feeling of excitement you had when you 50lbs last year? That should be your motivation along with the wedding. But don't just put the wedding as the reason you want to do this. This should be an overall change for you and your spouse to live a long happy life!

queenliz99

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead/p1

shiv020910

I have serious issues with going to the gym.. I hate working out when people are around
I've taken up walking and have done quite a lot of walking the last few days and am eating well under my calorie limit.. But I feel like I need to be doing more!!
Thanks for replying by the way!

bigislandgrrl

Get yourself a cheap Eliptical - I got my most recent one from craigslist for $50. Then you can work out in the privacy of your own home.

motterotter

Dont be too hard on yourself
your fiancé loves you and proposed to you at your current weight so it obviously is not a factor
people get all bent out if shape no pun intended over looking perfect on the perfect day and being finally the perfect weight but you are perfect right now to your fiancé so losing 100 lbs or 50 or any other set number is not going to make you deserve love and happiness any more or less than right now at this weight

just eat sensibly and stay mentally and physically healthy
Putting too much pressure on yourself in a stressful year will guarantee failure
It sounds cliched but you have one day to be wed and the rest if your life to be married

quiarga

Getting married (or maybe even more accurately the honeymoon cruise) was the best motivation I ever had! I lost 23 lbs in the months before my wedding and left for our destination 2 lbs from my goal weight! I was over the moon, and was so grateful to myself for putting in the effort. The pictures from that trip will be something we look back on for the rest of our lives. I jokingly (not really though) tell my husband we need to plan another cruise or vacation like that for more motivation!

It felt easier to stick to my plans of working out and eating right when I had that to look forward to. Set yourself goals and rewards for reaching those goals. Something you really want! And then earn it! Congrats and good luck!

TheChrissyT

I think if you change your perspective on the situation it might help. Look at it as making sure that you're loving yourself as much as you are promising to love someone else for the rest of your life. Do you not like working out around other people because you are feeling insecure? I feel like my motivation to start working out at the gym was that I started to actually care about myself. I wasn't doing it for anyone but myself (and what I want to be for my children).

Here's a weird motivational thing I do on the treadmill when I start wanting to give up, I imagine that I'm running right behind my future self. That I can see how hard she has worked, how much more fit she is, how much better she feels about herself, how great my *kitten* looks now lol, and look up to my future self and strive to make her proud now.

Kyrenora

I'm not a fan of going to the gym either. It just takes so much more effort to get out of the house and go somewhere to work out. I do the vast majority of my workouts in my living room. I put on yoga videos (my favorite site is DoYogaWithMe.com) or I'll do calisthenics. Even just dancing around to one of my favorite albums will get me sweating. Find an activity that you enjoy rather than forcing yourself into something you dread.

marija09

surround yourself with friends who have the motivation that you are lacking. and when you're feeling low if u talk to others about it (physical friends can be more effective than virtual), that'll help you get on track. nothing beats a real warm hug!

lorrpb

If you're not motivated that's ok. There's no law you have to lose weight.

Amanda_Tate28

ninerbuff wrote: »

If you have no motivation, then no one can help you. You can get all the inspiration, encouragement, cheering, etc., but if you don't want to do it, it ain't gonna happen. Why do you not feel like taking this on?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

this^

Smile72

You have to want to do it. It's a matter of interest vs commitment. I suggest giving yourself a small goal and work at it day by day. Maybe it's not about the motivation maybe it's more about feeling pressured/overwhelmed.

toxikon

One thing to keep in mind is losing weight can be 100% diet. If you don't like the gym, don't go to the gym. I mean, for HEALTH purposes, exercise is important. But if your main goal is simply shedding some weight, you can do it with only your diet. Simply eating below your TDEE is enough.

gramarye

lorrpb wrote: »

If you're not motivated that's ok. There's no law you have to lose weight.

This. You're planning a wedding -- congratulations! You deserve to enjoy it, and it's okay if weight loss just doesn't fit into that plan. Your happiness is not size dependent.

At the same time, when you're ready to lose weight and want to (wanting to and being ready are different things that don't always coexist), you don't have to force yourself to do it in ways that don't interest you. As others have said, you do not have to go to the gym or work out in any real way if you don't want to. A lot of us (self included) have lost a lot of weight just walking and maintaining a calorie deficit. I absolutely detest going to the gym. So I log honestly and as accurately as I can, and accept that I don't get to eat as much as active gym goers.

AngelMommy13

I am also getting married this year and have over 100 lbs to lose. I am down 28 so far. What motivates me is thinking about the pictures! Like someone said though, if you don't have it in you to lose the weight then what we say probably wouldn't help. You have to find it within yourself to lose the weight. I finally just got sick of being fat and being tired all the time. Thinking how I would look in the wedding pictures just gave me even more motivation lol..

Wishing you the best!!

amgreenwell

the only motivator I can give you is that those photos of you in that beautiful dress will be hanging in people's homes FOREVER no matter what you look like, so you might as well try your hardest to look your best and KNOW that you look and feel your best that day. It is a big goal but you can do it!!!

all4koi

Just a thought but have you heard of ketogenic diet/lifestyle? Much safer than Atkins since its a low-carb high-fat moderate-protein diet. And any exercise you do will only improve weight loss. Let your motivation to be healthier to live longer with your soon-to-be husband and if you can, get him to help you too! Nothing like a fiance runnign along side you!

srv524

Judging by just your face pic (since you have no body pics) I don't see how you could possibly lose 100 lbs...

But set a realistic goal, eat healthy, walk/start running. You need to do resistance training so suck it up and go to a gym (no one cares what you look like or do, we respect you even more if anything) or buy a good weight set.

shiv020910

brandonersing wrote: »

Judging by just your face pic (since you have no body pics) I don't see how you could possibly lose 100

Thank you but my face tells lies... I weigh about 290lb...

You have all helped so much! I intend to suck it up and deal with it...!

My daily calories allowance is 2,900 and I'm eaten under 1,500 everyday so far this week and I intend to keep it under that!! So next step is conquering the gym...!

I will do this Not only for me but for a long happy life with my little girl & husband to be!

debrakgoogins

Are you feeling overwhelmed because you are planning a wedding...and you need to lose weight? Weddings are stressful. I can understand that thinking about one more thing might be hard for you. Keep walking! It's great exercise and any movement is good. Try adding some body weight resistance exercising from home if you feel uncomfortable going to a gym. FitnessBlender is a great way to start. It's free and you can choose beginner to advanced workouts. You can choose the intensity. You can choose how long the workout is from 5 minutes to 90 minutes. At first, it will be hard but eventually, it will be a stress reducer and you might even look forward to it. You can do this!

srv524

I think 2900 is pretty excessive. My limit was 2000/day when I was 228 and still there at 210 lbs. I'd recommend 1800/day and see how that does for you. Obviously having more weight will increase the number of calories you can consume but 1500-1800/day for women tends to be average...some even go less.

LadyElby

Congrats on getting married! It's such an exciting time! I'm getting married next year, and am definitely setting goals to lose some weight before my wedding. But I will say this. I think it's important to not let yourself get overly stressed. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, and add to it the overwhelming stress of being unhappy with the way we look, and wanting/needing to lose weight in a set amount of time (which, let's be honest, we've probably tried to lose over the course of our entire life!). A person could go absolutely mad! Try not to overthink it.

That being said, 9 months is plenty of time to lose a good bit of weight. You may not be able to lose 100 lbs in that time span, but you can certainly get close! I think the first step is to come up with a short term goal - maybe 5 pounds by the end of February - that's less than pound a week, and totally doable! If you're not already, concentrate on logging all your food, and take a hard look at what you are putting into your body. Start with little changes, like lessening or eliminating soda or sweets. You'd be amazed at what that little change can do! And just continue to make small changes as you go!


I'm no expert, and I won't even try to pretend to be. But if you'd like a little extra support, and another cheerleader, feel free to friend me!

debrakgoogins

brandonersing wrote: »

I think 2900 is pretty excessive. My limit was 2000/day when I was 228 and still there at 210 lbs. I'd recommend 1800/day and see how that does for you. Obviously having more weight will increase the number of calories you can consume but 1500-1800/day for women tends to be average...some even go less.

She stated that she is about 290 pounds right now.

I might recommend a TDEE calculator like the Scooby one. It is pretty accurate. You can always override the calories MFP is giving you with the ones that are given to you by Scooby. Yours will probably be somewhere around 2000 - 2100.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

brynnsmom

shiv020910 wrote: »

I've taken up walking and have done quite a lot of walking the last few days and am eating well under my calorie limit.. But I feel like I need to be doing more!!

Don't feel pressured to do more than what you described right away...it's hard to be motivated when you're feeling overwhelmed. Exercise is great, but it's controlling your diet that will yield results.

srv524

debrakgoogins wrote: »

brandonersing wrote: »

I think 2900 is pretty excessive. My limit was 2000/day when I was 228 and still there at 210 lbs. I'd recommend 1800/day and see how that does for you. Obviously having more weight will increase the number of calories you can consume but 1500-1800/day for women tends to be average...some even go less.

She stated that she is about 290 pounds right now.

I might recommend a TDEE calculator like the Scooby one. It is pretty accurate. You can always override the calories MFP is giving you with the ones that are given to you by Scooby. Yours will probably be somewhere around 2000 - 2100.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

I meant she could probably get by with eating 1500-1800, not that her caloric needs were only 1500-1800.