Binge eaters out there needing support

Karihappy

So, unfortunately, my 870-calorie popcorn ended up the beginning of a binge for me. I ended up polishing off a bottle of wine and dining on New York style - Roasted Garlic Bagel Crisps with cheese and salami on them, a Klondike Neopolitian Ice Cream Bar, and half of a grilled Italian sandwich. Sure would love to know what sets me off. Didn't even exercise yesterday, which makes it even worse. I usually burn off over 500 calories in exercise a day. Today I'm starving and trying oh so hard not to keep up the bad eating, but I'm not exercising today either, and my husband keeps making all this delicious-smelling food, and it's driving me crazy!!!

gothchiq

If yr anything like me, the first bite you take of a trigger food or craving food, yr lost and down the rabbit hole u go. Chew gum. Extra dessert delights gum is astounding. And drink lots of hot tea. Ginger tea seems more satisfying for some reason. If u can't stand the cooking smells try going for a walk, take bath, spray febreeze. I know yr struggle. I'm here to listen u need me!

bjade18

Yeah I binge eat really bad sometimes. Due to stress and not knowing how to handle my life I gained 20 pounds in a short period of time because of binge eating. I'll binge eat anything too doesn't have to be junk. Just whatever tastes good. I have a huge problem with binge eating too after dinner. It's usually okay during the day but dinner time hits and bam I eat everything. Last night I had a nice supper and I ended up eating a whole bag of cheddar rice thins or whatever they're called. The day before I binged on pizza and taquitos.. I know it really has to do with emotional issues for me or boredom and stuff like that. I think doing some yoga or exercise after dinner if you're like me is a great idea. Would help keep my mind off food.

ab6046

Great advice! I've been meaning to try that gum for a while now, so I think I will. Especially since they have dessert favors and my binges usually start with a sweet tooth (which is odd since I consider myself to be a salty tooth).

Karihappy, that sounds just like me. Once I get started its all downhill from there. My husband is also an incredible cook, and it's the worst/best thing ever.

Karihappy

I did manage to get out to take a short 45-minute walk. Only went 2 miles, but, hey, it's something. And so far so good on eating right today. Let's remember that it's okay to live it up once in a while -- that's just life and the way we will always live life -- but we've just got to get back on the right path ASAP, sooner rather than later! Here's to all of us bingers getting back on track!

JensJourney11

You are definitely not alone. It's so frustrating. I don't understand why I have these moments where I can't control myself. I'm not hungry, I'm not enjoying stuffing my face and yet I keep eating.

ab6046

Great job on the walk! That's great, and it provides a good distraction. I always tell myself that should be my strategy, but I usually keep eating.

And Jipster, I know exactly how you feel. I used to enjoy binging, at least at the start of the binge. It no longer brings me pleasure or satisfaction of any kind. As a result, I feel my binges have gotten bigger as I'm trying to cope with this and achieve that feeling I used to get. Ultimately, I think it's a good thing because I'm hoping that that means maybe I'll start to cut down or stop soon.

ahoy_m8

I'm trying to understand myself on this, too. Early in life I was a huge emotional eater, but through the years I broke that habit and it's not so much the case anymore. What I do observe, though, is the impulse to secret eating. It's not rational, makes no sense, but evidently is seeded deep in my psyche. E.g. on a busy weekend when the last person leaves the house and I'm home alone for a short spell, I notice I have this impulse towards, "what should I eat," as if it doesn't count if no one sees it. Illogical. IDK, that's not the whole story because last time I went overboard I was not home alone. Work in progress....

sweetaddict123

bump

bologna111

I struggle with binge eating also. I have read a lot of books on the subject. The most helpful one for me is brain over binge. for me, it's important that I remember binge eating is just a bad habit that I have created by binging over and over. I have the power to ignore the urge to binge and change those habits. In the book, the author talks about sitting with the urge to binge and ride it like a wave. Not arguing or trying to distract yourself. Just allow your self to feel it. I hope we can all support each other and be free of binge eating. Add me if you want.

bologna111

Another strategy that has been helpful is I have my goals and reasons for those goals in my phone and I look at them several times a day. I also try to visualize myself happy, healthy and binge free.

ab6046

That's a really good idea, I will have to try that. I've been having a tough few days. I just got the book "Brain Over Binge" last night and started reading it. I can relate to the writer so much and am hoping that those similarities in experience may mean that there's hope for me too.

bologna111

I'm glad you got the book. Let me know what you think of it. Im sorry you had a rough few days. I had a few last weekend. Im determined to make it through this weekend without a binge. I know the more I resist the urges the weaker they will get and I can break the bad binge habit. We can do this!

ab6046

It was pretty good and her theories definitely make sense as far as habit reinforcing and whatnot go. But I guess I was looking for something more groundbreaking than just sitting through the urges. I've been trying to do that for years and years, and there are very few occasions that I am able to avoid a binge when the urges crop up. And if I am, then it likely comes back just a bit later. But maybe the issue is more about how I think about it. Instead of just thinking of it as waiting until the urge subsides, I will try to think about it like my brain versus the animal brain and see how that goes. It's just so easy to feel discouraged.

ziesergirl_66

Interesting reading all of your responses....all that I can definitely relate to. I have been a pro at binging for a good 20 yrs now. I can binge for no real reason....mostly emotional. Bored. Tired. Anxious. Happy. Sad. My therapist of 8+ yrs gave me an assignment to do...one that I had to be fully aware - of what I was thinking and feeling. I had approximately 10-12 questions to answer, and it took me about 20 minutes to think and write it all down. It did stop my binge, but I felt all of that was too much work. It should be more simple than this, right? No, it's gonna take some serious work to end this. I can say that I over eat intentionally, like I deserve to feel miserable. I've battled really bad self-esteem and self-worth issues for most of my life ( I was adopted ). Add to that in-laws who make fun of big people, their weight, etc. Even when I was pregnant with a 10 lb baby. I have never tallied a binge, but I'm guessing it is in the 6,000-8,000 calorie range. I can eat tremendous amounts of food. All day long, like every hour. I've been in physical pain from it, my tummy is so tight from bloat and all the food, nauseated. Has caused me anxiety, heart burn. Nothing really stops me. I've even had acid reflux immediately and kept eating. I know in the moment, my most common thought is "I don't care". Again, it's all related to my self worth. I was on a generic of Wellbutrim for depression, and it did seem to give me that 'not really hungry' feeling. yes, I dropped a little weight, but wasn't taking it for that. Not on any meds now. I'm curious about the yoga helping though. I am guilty of keeping my trigger foods in the house. But I am one if I want it bad enough I will go out and buy it. I'm also the person who goes through a couple fast food drive ups and then stops at a convenience store for more food. And eats it all in 30 minutes or less.
Yeah, I'm a binger through and through. It's a real struggle.

alittlelife14

Add me.

liseysmith1977

Lilredcat wrote: »

Binge eater here. I cannot just open a box of crackers and eat one or two... it is like they (the crackers) call to me and suddenly there I am holding this empty box and my lips and fingers are stinging from the salt. Annndddd I want more. So I get a drink then go to the cupboard for phase 2. And so it goes. I hate it. I flip flop from eating nothing and only drinking tea all day to eating sensibly then chowing down like it is the end of the world at the end of the day. Three years ago I lost nearly 30 pounds and was at my goal weight. But then pizza here and summer bbq there plus binging at night and now I weigh more than ever. I am a comfort eater and carbs are like cuddly blankets that help me feel better. I am afraid of going in antidepressants because people gain weight on those ---- so no, I do not think any medications will help with this. Too bad I cannot just wrap myself in carbs instead of stuffing them into myself. My husband and oldest son are binge eaters too. I have to hide the Goldfish crackers from my 8 year old or else he will literally chow down on the whole bag. So even if one of us (me usually) is trying to stick to the diet or healthier eating the other brings out cookies to the couch at night and how oh how to ignore the cookies sitting right next to you.....

I am so much like this but only at night when I am lying in bed reading... If I open a box of crackers I can't just have a couple it's like half a box ... I think it comes from boredom for me maybe

ab6046

ziesergirl_66 wrote: »

Interesting reading all of your responses....all that I can definitely relate to. I have been a pro at binging for a good 20 yrs now. I can binge for no real reason....mostly emotional. Bored. Tired. Anxious. Happy. Sad. My therapist of 8+ yrs gave me an assignment to do...one that I had to be fully aware - of what I was thinking and feeling. I had approximately 10-12 questions to answer, and it took me about 20 minutes to think and write it all down. It did stop my binge, but I felt all of that was too much work. It should be more simple than this, right? No, it's gonna take some serious work to end this. I can say that I over eat intentionally, like I deserve to feel miserable. I've battled really bad self-esteem and self-worth issues for most of my life ( I was adopted ). Add to that in-laws who make fun of big people, their weight, etc. Even when I was pregnant with a 10 lb baby. I have never tallied a binge, but I'm guessing it is in the 6,000-8,000 calorie range. I can eat tremendous amounts of food. All day long, like every hour. I've been in physical pain from it, my tummy is so tight from bloat and all the food, nauseated. Has caused me anxiety, heart burn. Nothing really stops me. I've even had acid reflux immediately and kept eating. I know in the moment, my most common thought is "I don't care". Again, it's all related to my self worth. I was on a generic of Wellbutrim for depression, and it did seem to give me that 'not really hungry' feeling. yes, I dropped a little weight, but wasn't taking it for that. Not on any meds now. I'm curious about the yoga helping though. I am guilty of keeping my trigger foods in the house. But I am one if I want it bad enough I will go out and buy it. I'm also the person who goes through a couple fast food drive ups and then stops at a convenience store for more food. And eats it all in 30 minutes or less.
Yeah, I'm a binger through and through. It's a real struggle.

That sounds like a really good assignment to try, and I'm going to give it a shot one of these days. I oftentimes think that I should try writing to avoid or at least post-pone a binge. I have always liked to write, and I think articulating my thoughts could also highlight patterns in my thinking. It is true that it does take serious work and dedication to end this, so it really is worth the effort. Thanks for sharing your experience as well as the assignment.

kshama2001

ab6046 wrote: »

It was pretty good and her theories definitely make sense as far as habit reinforcing and whatnot go. But I guess I was looking for something more groundbreaking than just sitting through the urges. I've been trying to do that for years and years, and there are very few occasions that I am able to avoid a binge when the urges crop up. And if I am, then it likely comes back just a bit later. But maybe the issue is more about how I think about it. Instead of just thinking of it as waiting until the urge subsides, I will try to think about it like my brain versus the animal brain and see how that goes. It's just so easy to feel discouraged.

Yoga has help train me to not react to urges. So many times when I am on my yoga mat, I want to get up and do something else. But I stay, and continue my practice, and the urge passes.

I can now control random food urges as well, assuming I am not having cravings due to not having enough calories, protein, sleep, or exercise.

Yoga for Emotional Flow (How to Ride the Wave of) is a CD about using yoga for urges and emotions that seem unmanageable.

There aren't any actual yoga postures:

- CD 1 is about yoga philosophy and modern psychology. (The author is also a psychotherapist in addition to being an amazing yoga teacher and writer. I've taken several of his workshops and have two of his books.)

- CD 2 is comprised of three guided meditations which build on what was taught in CD 1.

kshama2001

liseysmith1977 wrote: »

Lilredcat wrote: »

Binge eater here. I cannot just open a box of crackers and eat one or two... it is like they (the crackers) call to me and suddenly there I am holding this empty box and my lips and fingers are stinging from the salt. Annndddd I want more. So I get a drink then go to the cupboard for phase 2. And so it goes. I hate it. I flip flop from eating nothing and only drinking tea all day to eating sensibly then chowing down like it is the end of the world at the end of the day. Three years ago I lost nearly 30 pounds and was at my goal weight. But then pizza here and summer bbq there plus binging at night and now I weigh more than ever. I am a comfort eater and carbs are like cuddly blankets that help me feel better. I am afraid of going in antidepressants because people gain weight on those ---- so no, I do not think any medications will help with this. Too bad I cannot just wrap myself in carbs instead of stuffing them into myself. My husband and oldest son are binge eaters too. I have to hide the Goldfish crackers from my 8 year old or else he will literally chow down on the whole bag. So even if one of us (me usually) is trying to stick to the diet or healthier eating the other brings out cookies to the couch at night and how oh how to ignore the cookies sitting right next to you.....

I am so much like this but only at night when I am lying in bed reading... If I open a box of crackers I can't just have a couple it's like half a box ... I think it comes from boredom for me maybe

Try weighing out a serving, logging it, putting the box away, and enjoying it slowly and mindfully.

positivepowers

Lilredcat wrote: »

Binge eater here. I cannot just open a box of crackers and eat one or two... it is like they (the crackers) call to me and suddenly there I am holding this empty box and my lips and fingers are stinging from the salt. Annndddd I want more. So I get a drink then go to the cupboard for phase 2. And so it goes. I hate it. I flip flop from eating nothing and only drinking tea all day to eating sensibly then chowing down like it is the end of the world at the end of the day. Three years ago I lost nearly 30 pounds and was at my goal weight. But then pizza here and summer bbq there plus binging at night and now I weigh more than ever. I am a comfort eater and carbs are like cuddly blankets that help me feel better. I am afraid of going in antidepressants because people gain weight on those ---- so no, I do not think any medications will help with this. Too bad I cannot just wrap myself in carbs instead of stuffing them into myself. My husband and oldest son are binge eaters too. I have to hide the Goldfish crackers from my 8 year old or else he will literally chow down on the whole bag. So even if one of us (me usually) is trying to stick to the diet or healthier eating the other brings out cookies to the couch at night and how oh how to ignore the cookies sitting right next to you.....

I can empathize. A co-worker of mine can open a tin of cookies or a candy bar, eat a couple of cookies or a couple of bites of the candy bar and ignore the rest. I almost go into seizures wanting to steal the rest and scarf it down!

BTW OP, I won't open my diary either. That will be the fastest way for me to cheat.

ab6046

newmeadow wrote: »

ab6046 wrote: »

Very curious....what does a 10,000 calorie binge look like?

Full breakfast in a diner: 2 fried eggs, bacon, hash browns, 2 grilled English with extra butter, grapenut pudding, large coffee with extra cream and sugar (around 2,000 calories)

Noon: 6 Boston Creme Dunkin Donuts with a large coffee with cream and sugar. (2,000 calories)

4 pm: Small Dominoes pizza with sausage and pepperoni with 40 oz. of Pepsi (1,800 calories)

9 pm: 8 Peking ravioli, 8 chicken fingers, carton of pork lo mein, 40 oz. of Snapple Lemonade (3,200 calories)

11:30 pm: Pint of Ben and Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream (1,120 calories)

Now that's a binge and I've done it many times. Most people at MFP think a binge is one too many bowls of oatmeal and too many crackers with peanut butter between meals. Please.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one capable of this! (Although not glad, in some ways. It's better people not know how it feels!)

Adamsa1969

Wow! This post has been going for days, and I am so glad that I am not alone.

I find that when I drink diet soda, I tend to binge. Does anyone else find that diet soda is a trigger?

ab6046

I almost never drink soda, so I haven't made a connection there. However most of the time eating anything sweet totally sets me off and triggers a binge so I totally get that!

sandykani91

Just my two cents:

When someone has a drug or alcohol addiction it's suggested that they go into an impatient program in the beginning to take them away from their surroundings and bring them to a safe place that is free from drugs/alcohol/triggers. It is there that they start their journey, with therapists, meetings, support groups, and doctors. There they may detox, figure out if they need legitimate medication for underlying issue, learn coping mechanisms ect. It's hard and it sucks and it's painful but when they come out (if they are willing and open minded and ready) they can continue their life with outpatient, support groups and they have a foundation for recovery.

Why not the same for this disorder. It's an eating disorder, addiction. It's not different. It may not bring people to their knees as quickly as heroin but it affects so many people and makes their lives so difficult.

Maybe an answer for binge eating is an inpatient program, where all the food is monitored, therapy and support provided. To give one the best foundation for the rest of their lives. Even though one can function with this disorder a bit easier than a heroin addict, it's not a good way to live. And if it's been going on for years and is negatively affection ones life than it's worth finding treatment ya know?

Thowe92

Lately since I've restarted I've been doing fine on the weekdays. Then the occasional weekend hits and sometimes I find it hard to stop even though I'm not hungry. I used to be a lot better with things like this.

Chameleon80

Your not alone,my trigger food is chocolate,I know if I take one bite it's over.Me and chocolate have a really bad relationship

Adamsa1969

sandykani91 wrote: »

Just my two cents:

When someone has a drug or alcohol addiction it's suggested that they go into an impatient program in the beginning to take them away from their surroundings and bring them to a safe place that is free from drugs/alcohol/triggers. It is there that they start their journey, with therapists, meetings, support groups, and doctors. There they may detox, figure out if they need legitimate medication for underlying issue, learn coping mechanisms ect. It's hard and it sucks and it's painful but when they come out (if they are willing and open minded and ready) they can continue their life with outpatient, support groups and they have a foundation for recovery.

Why not the same for this disorder. It's an eating disorder, addiction. It's not different. It may not bring people to their knees as quickly as heroin but it affects so many people and makes their lives so difficult.

Maybe an answer for binge eating is an inpatient program, where all the food is monitored, therapy and support provided. To give one the best foundation for the rest of their lives. Even though one can function with this disorder a bit easier than a heroin addict, it's not a good way to live. And if it's been going on for years and is negatively affection ones life than it's worth finding treatment ya know?

I agree! Eating disorders can be as debilitating as other addictions. There is a reason and a source of the addition that needs to be addressed before true healing can take place and the sabotage of yourself has to stop.

ziesergirl_66

I think an outpatient program could work. However, those that go in for drugs, alcohol don't need that to survive. We need food to survive. I admit, I have a really bad relationship with food, but it goes way beyond that. It's psychological. There is a root to this problem. I never did this as a child or teenager. I truly know how to lose weight. It's not about that. It's about controlling food, and many days, weeks, months, years I am NOT functioning. I've eaten so much I am in a carb coma. My mind is foggy. I'm in physical pain. Monitoring food, logging does help. But to a certain point it feels like restricting. And that only lasts for a few days for me, and I am right back at binging. When I am in a full binge, I feel like 2 different people. I know what I want in my mind, but I have no control over it, at least that's how it feels. No one has ever witnessed me (family, friends, co-workers) in a binge. I'm sure it would be a horror for them. It's down right disgusting. I'm ashamed of it. I have told a couple people about my BED. They laughed at me. I felt even worse. It's a real, serious illness. There surely needs to be more awareness for it. I honestly think the only way for me to not have a binge episode is if I had 24 hr monitoring. That's how weak I feel around food. I'm obsessed about it. I think about it all day long.

alphastarz

Recovering Binge eater here. Once woke up and thought I was seriously ill, my lips were bluish grey. Apparently I ate cake with black frosting in the middle of the night, didn't even remember it (and no such cake had been present when I went to sleep). Dream of food. Obsess over food. Have eaten whole bags of things by myself in an hours time, then go to cupboard for another bag of something else. Have hidden or snuck food at times in the past. Have caught myself forgetting what I was supposed to be doing and standing in front of fridge/pantry instead.... You definitely are not alone.
Things that have helped me. 1. Installed a key lock on my pantry and wrap a bike lock on fridge. It doesn't keep me out, but it buys me a few minutes for my brain to kick in before just act on impulse. 2. Have an open diary, and log everything. It's not about sharing with mfp, but more a vow to myself that I'm not going to lie to ME about it anymore. 3. I have identified planned alternatives for many scenarios. Gum for boredom, light popcorn for movie noshing, mango sunset dark chocolate bar for gotta have chocolate craving, enlighten ice cream for ice cream comfort food habit (and it goes on and on). 4. Diabetes/insulin resistant diagnosis. The more I ate the higher the blood sugar, the more insulin I'd make, the more unused insulin the more my body would cue me to eat sugar/carbs to the death spiral. The balance of my calories now is skewed higher towards protein and fat than carbs or the default mfp setting.
(Ps. To those who ask what a 800 calorie Binge looks like.... I use to start my binge with a family size bag of crunchy Cheetos for 3,680 calories. Then I'd usually eat 6 pieces of pizza too for another 2,340 calories. Probably finsh off with a bowl of ice cream, which equated to 3 servings not one.... Which is why I was morbidly obese, and Cheetos are strictly forbidden at my house under all circumstances.)