female building muscle

crikey_katie

Apparently I am not muscular enough for my boyfriend. He referenced Dana Bailey the other night. Obviously she looks amazing but works out a hell of a lot more than I can. I work out an hour to 2 hours almost daily, but think that goal might be hard to reach. Any ladies out there that have tips and can help keep motivated ?

3bambi3

Yeah, tell your boyfriend to gtfo. That should motivate you to start accepting your body and create goals that YOU want to attain.

provencal73

What are your goals?

jemhh

What was his actual comment? "Gee she has a lot of muscle." Or, "You would look much better if you had muscle like her." Or something else?

DaddieCat

I'm not a lady but I'm gonna say this. I'm a bodybuilder... my SO is not. I, personally, would find it incredibly rude to tell her what I thought her body should look like. Admittedly, I'd like her to be healthy, but ultimately, I'd like her to be comfortable with her own appearance and goals. It is not my place to tell her how she should be and doing so would be a violation of the social contract that she and I entered when we started this relationship. I fell in love with her for who she is and not her appearance... sure I'm attracted to her, but trying to alter her appearance to suit my own needs would not be respecting her autonomy, or anything about her at all, really.

I can be comfortable with my own person and my own journey so that I don't need to try to force her to come along with me if that's not her wish.

The ONLY time I would say anything was if it were a serious health risk, or there were some deeper issue regarding the relationship, at which point this would not be about weight or physical appearance but some deeper dissatisfaction that would require deeper issues to be looked at.

TL:DR Your boyfriend is possibly overstepping his boundaries and infringing on your autonomy and personal choices/judgement by asking this of you.

jessiruthica

BecomingBane wrote: »

TL:DR Your boyfriend is possibly overstepping his boundaries and infringing on your autonomy and personal choices/judgement by asking this of you.

I like you very much.

JoRocka

BecomingBane wrote: »

TL:DR Your boyfriend is possibly overstepping his boundaries and infringing on your autonomy and personal choices/judgement by asking this of you.

This sums up what I think nicely.

I think it's fine to have an opinion on what someone's potential could be- or what you WISH they would do for themselves- I really think that's okay (i.e.... my BF doesn't lift- I would love it if he did- but his body- his choice)...

I think it's okay for him to encourage you- and wish you the best for yourself- and possibly even be more muscular- he can have that opinion- but I think it's pushing it to say "you should look like DLB"- for a PLETHORA of reasons"

I think you should do the best YOU can do for you- with the time and priorities YOU have. if YOU want to be more muscular- be more muscular. If you don't- then don't.

jimmmer

If you're instigating changes in your body for anyone other than yourself - you'll end up unhappy.

I've glanced into my crystal ball and can confirm it's true.

SonyaCele

Be who you want to be not who your boyfriend wants you to be. and a goal of having a body like DLB is definitely hard to reach unless you make it a full time job and hire top notch professional trainers and nutritionists.

Mr_Capt_America

I'm not going to question how or why your boyfriend said what he did. That isn't your question....PLUS the amount you workout I assume you enjoy it. STAY MOTIVATED! Use DLB for motivation. Look at older pics....Look at newer pics. It took YEARS to get there. Eat right, work out hard. Heavy weights!! Reps!! All the intensity tricks. Keep cardio to a minimum. You CAN and WILL reach your goals!!

MommyMeggo

BecomingBane wrote: »

I'm not a lady but I'm gonna say this. I'm a bodybuilder... my SO is not. I, personally, would find it incredibly rude to tell her what I thought her body should look like. Admittedly, I'd like her to be healthy, but ultimately, I'd like her to be comfortable with her own appearance and goals. It is not my place to tell her how she should be and doing so would be a violation of the social contract that she and I entered when we started this relationship. I fell in love with her for who she is and not her appearance... sure I'm attracted to her, but trying to alter her appearance to suit my own needs would not be respecting her autonomy, or anything about her at all, really.

I can be comfortable with my own person and my own journey so that I don't need to try to force her to come along with me if that's not her wish.

The ONLY time I would say anything was if it were a serious health risk, or there were some deeper issue regarding the relationship, at which point this would not be about weight or physical appearance but some deeper dissatisfaction that would require deeper issues to be looked at.

TL:DR Your boyfriend is possibly overstepping his boundaries and infringing on your autonomy and personal choices/judgement by asking this of you.

THIS!