I don't think I can do this....

O2BNWA

I have been doing some soul searching about my weight loss and I know I can lose weight and I know I can gain, but deep down in my heart of hearts , I honestly don't believe I can keep it off long term.

I don't have parents, siblings, kids , a husband to motivate me to want to lose so I can live longer and be with them longer. I have a few friends who are in the same boat as I am which at this point is not helpful. There is nothing that I feel I really have to motivate me, I'm just burnt out. I have been dieting since I was 13, At 30 pounds overweight the health concerns are mild for me. I just can't find my motivation. I have healthier habits, I am cooking with quality foods, but when I indulge I go all the way and undo my hard work. I just don't know how to lose and maintain this for 30 years or longer. Some days I hate food and I feel like a failure at mealtimes. I am just sick of the whole thing.

rosesvtec

You can do anything you set your mind to I am looking to drop @25lbs, I dropped almost 50 at one point just by running and tracking my food intake. I hate diets, Who wants to rapidly lose 50lbs, then as soon as you stop gain it right back. That would be defeating to me. We all have cheat days, just make sure you work out after a splurge I lost 50lbs, landed me a great BF, and gained 25 back. That was over 4 years and a baby, eating what I wanted, and not working out... Sooo just add an hour work out a day (cardio) and GO! good luck.

bri170lb

Wow! That's tough! I have a laundry list of reasons to keep going!

But I'm curious. If you really don't have any motivation to lose weight, why would you feel like a failure at meal time? What do you feel guilty about?

Maybe the answer to that question will help you find a reason to lose the extra pounds, or maybe exploring the roots of your guilt will help you decide that you really are fine just the way you are.

Rabidrunner

Sounds like you are having a particularly bad day! Is there are reason you are feeling so down at the moment? You don't have to answer that question in a with a literal response, especially if there are personal things going on right now that don't need to be aired on an internet forum. The question is more rhetorical - if you're having a really bad day/week then that's more likely the cause of your frustration, rather than truly being unable to make changes.

You can make the changes! But you do need to commit to it first. In terms of motivation, you may not have motivation now, but sometimes you have to do the thing to get the motivation to do the thing. Does that make sense? For example, you have to go to the gym to get the motivation to go to the gym. First step is to get to the gym! Or whatever it might be.

buttersbunch

You know, whether you think you CAN or whether you think you CAN'T... your right!

No matter how many people someone might have in their life to 'live for'- ultimately anyone who loses weight to get healthier and live longer needs to do it for the MOST important person- their self! ❤️

I had a loving husband (soon to be 33 years!) and 5 beautiful children, and EVERY reason to want to live and lose the weight, but for far too many years I made excuses and put it off until finally- my weight was at it's HIGHEST (410 pounds) and my health at it's LOWEST, and I knew I *had* to make the changes necessary for ME!!

Was it easy? No!! Was it worth it? YES!!

From 410 pounds to 135 pounds for a weight loss of 275 pounds... you CAN do it too, but you have to CHOOSE to!! ❤️

rsclause

Stop thinking diet because your right, you can't diet for thirty years. You can however change your lifestyle. I stare at other peoples carts and think "I can't believe I used to eat that". I lost the weight and feel really good now. I got rid of processed foods and shop mostly in the produce aisle now. I am a runner now and love to stay active. I do think about my wife, kids, grandchildren but I also think about me. As I age I started looking around at the health of people (like me) that were putting on several pounds a year. As the years add up I noticed how bad lifestyle habits were killing these people right before my eyes. I noticed how many Dialysis clinics are being built and the amount of people that ride electric carts because their mobility is limited. I drew the line and decided "I change now, not next week". A friend told me that the point is not to live fast and die slow but to live slow and die fast. Do this now and as a new lifestyle that will go on forever, for you. You may also meet some new people on this journey.

RosemaryBronte

One motivation is that good health feels great. Instead of dieting, try to set up good habits to last you a lifetime e.g. have 2 pieces of fruit each day. Concentrate on that for a couple of weeks and then include some exercise. As you rely more on healthy habits, you feel happier. I love the meditation CD 'Breath, Heart and Light' by Dr Gillian Ross because it makes me feel good and sleep better. Also I find the less sugar I eat the less I want. I used to have to eat whole boxes of chocolates. Now they don't interest me. I have a small Weight Watchers chocolate bar in the afternoon if I want to but mostly I steer away from even that. As I'm learning new recipes I'm finding that healthy food is comforting and delicious. It's a long learning process of finding how being healthy is a feel good experience.

sanfromny

Do you watch sports? Do you have a favorite team? What makes them a champion? They go back out and try again, the majority are never undefeated. We all face defeats but then we do it again. because at the end of the day regardless if we are part of a team or not it's the satisfaction of saying we did it.

Honestly it sounds a bit like you're afraid to face failure. You know you can lose it but are afraid you can't keep at it. You have to fail in order to learn from your mistakes. Stay encouraged.

RoxieDawn

First rule, do this for no one but yourself... PERIOD. No one should do this for husbands, kids, friends or even their mother (If you had one like mine you would understand this one) and certainly not for the bullies out there!!!

The husband, kids, friends, family and even the bullies cannot help you live in your own skin and even your body...it is ALL up to you.

Second rule (it is really not a rule but the next step).. get your mind right and commit. Does not matter whats on the PROS and CONS side of the list if you created one as to why you should or need to loose weight, just commit.

Third, make yourself the main motivator. You can have the mini motivators as bullet points under neath.. Such as friends, family, or things like just look good naked, fit into a certain dress, or just eat better and feel better, etc.. etc..., there are 1 billion reasons to think of as motivators, you are the first and real motivator.

When challenges come, make sure you have some support. If it is not your friends then use MFP? etc..

You need to accept you will have a bad day every now and then, you may even try to give up because of this one bad day, just don't let one bad day turn into many bad days... Reach Out!! It can save you from yourself...

Do not be afraid to fail. Failure MAKES YOU STRONGER... if you have the will to think it, you have the will to do it... Not getting back up makes you WEAKER and most of all not asking for help when you cannot get back up!

Period TheEnd, I could go on and on.. but this all starts with the mind getting right, and with the mind right the body will follow, guaranteed!!

Best of luck..

dubird

First thing, this isn't a diet. You can forget that term for now. What you need to do is focus on relearning eating habits. You need to slowly adjust what you do and don't and how much you eat to retrain your brain and your body to recognize what an actual portion of something is. Yes, you will be losing weight in the process if you stick to a lower calorie goal, but that's really a secondary effect. You'll be changing established habits, which is super hard, but you will benefit from the rest of your life.

Second, don't do this for anyone but yourself. Take a good, honest look at why YOU want to lose weight. It doesn't have to be 'to get healthy' either. Once you find that honest, internal, personal reason, the process becomes easier. Not super easy, but you're able to keep going when you get off track. And we all get off track from time to time. Doesn't make you failure, it makes you human. When it happens, log it and start fresh next meal/day. Going over doesn't sabotage you unless you let it.

robot_potato

You have one amazing, wonderful thing that makes the effort so worth it: YOU. You are worth the effort, you deserve a better you. Love yourself, take care of you, and happiness will follow. It doesn't matter who or what you have cause this? This is the one thing I do for myself.

The biggest thing here is that it's not a diet. It is a lifestyle change. I still eat the foods I like, I just pay attention to portions and make sure it fits my calorie allowance.

It's OK to fail, it's OK to have bad days, as long as you love yourself enough to pick up and try again. Every success was preceded by multiple failures. Nobody here is perfect. If we were perfect, we wouldn't be here.