Sad & Depressed in Mexico

iriemama85

This is my first time posting on here, even though been using MFP for awhile. I could really use some kind words right now because I am feeling like crap. I will try to make it short. Two years ago, I lost about 50 lbs and have maintained it, but I was still 15 lbs overweight/above BMI. My life got hectic and was actually at the slimmest I had ever been so didn't see the need to lose more at the time when I hit a plateau. Anyways fast forward to this past fall. I find out I am going to Mexico, so I get motivated to lose those last 15 lbs. I actually only lost about 10lbs but also two inches everywhere else due to strength training. So before I go on the trip I am feeling good, people compliment me about how smaller I look. I pack a one piece swimsuit because I have horrendous stretch marks from childbirth and a ugly saggy belly. Well today I get to the beach and literally every woman is wearing a bikini, even women who are much bigger than me. However no has a ugly saggy belly or stretch marks like me. I felt so awkward, I didn't even bother to take off my cover up, I made an excuse about not feeling well and now am crying in my hotel room. I feel so stupid for being upset and not being able to enjoy my vacation.

Rachel0778

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling really body conscious today. Comparison truly is the killer of joy and it's a shame that your inner critic is stealing your joy and not allowing you to enjoy your vacation.

There is nothing wrong with your stomach. Your mid-section is an incredible part of your body that successfully carried your child(ren) and supports your body every day.

You are in a different country with people you will never, ever see again. Most likely, your insecurities are built up in your head to be bigger than they are. But even if they're not, most people won't care. The ones who do you will never ever have to see again.

I hope you don't let your inner critic destroy your vacation. I hope instead you tell yourself 10 things you like about yourself, get back outside, and enjoy your vacation.

starbuckaddict

Aw I'm sorry That's rough. I hate bad body feeling days

If possible try not to compare yourself to others. It's rough because we see awesome people everywhere but you're awesome too even if you don't feel like it at the moment!!!

Remember, you're on vacation so you'll never have to see these people again. Once I was in Hawaii on vacation and I had a hard time swimming because I hate wearing swim suits and then I just kept telling myself that I was miles away from home and I wanted to have fun like everyone else. Maybe that'll work for you?

Also all of the women you see who you think look better then you - well they have something they're insecure about too. We're always harder on ourselves than others are on us.

You deserve to have a great vacation.

mgodfrey0202

Please don't judge yourself so harsh and stop feeling ashamed of the bodily reminder of you having your child. Your concern is legitimate only because that's how our society conditions all of us. However, you are the only person who truly can see the journey you've been through and the changes you've made. Whether strangers are judging you or not, you have all the rights in the world to tell them (even if it is just in your head) to f*** off. Enjoy your vacation to the last bit while you are there. I have been suffering from a low self-esteem for a long time myself, but I'm learning to accept myself as who I am and to love the changes I'm making.

For the stretch mark... I found people doing weights for a long time with a proper diet (real food, not fad) seem to have the elasticity back in their skin. It may take a while, but it surely will eventually shrink. It may not be to the point where you desire, but, nonetheless, you will get there. Also, one girl I know of who used a very expensive facial essence (containing EGF) on her post-pregnancy belly had a significant result with the stretch mark. I think it was around $170 or so for a small bottle. Well, still cheaper than surgery, you know.

Also, a cold green tea bag is good for puffy eyes in the morning. Make some tea for you tonight while relaxing in the bath tub, stick it in the refrigerator if you have one in your suite, and use it on your eyes in the morning. Cry no more.

iriemama85

Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. Today is a new day and I am going to try again. And I did want to clarify one thing, I don't think I look bad in my swimsuit, it's more like I feel out of place because it is an one piece and not a bikini. I felt like I was showing up to a black tie event wearing jeans or something. I was also stating the reasons why I would never wear a bikini. I love swimming, so hopefully I won't let something silly like this stand in my way.

saraonly9913

Rachel0778 wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling really body conscious today. Comparison truly is the killer of joy and it's a shame that your inner critic is stealing your joy and not allowing you to enjoy your vacation.

There is nothing wrong with your stomach. Your mid-section is an incredible part of your body that successfully carried your child(ren) and supports your body every day.

You are in a different country with people you will never, ever see again. Most likely, your insecurities are built up in your head to be bigger than they are. But even if they're not, most people won't care. The ones who do you will never ever have to see again.

I hope you don't let your inner critic destroy your vacation. I hope instead you tell yourself 10 things you like about yourself, get back outside, and enjoy your vacation.

This

besaro

your anxiety isn't silly. but honestly, remember, every one is so concerned with how they look, they arent really concerned with how you look. go swim!

Zinka61

Feel good about how you look in your one-piece. When I was in Spain, I, too, was the only woman in a 1 piece suit, but I saw a lot of bodies that could have benefited from a one-piece. Part of feeling good is dressing for your own body. You are at a good weight, and you look good in your one-piece, so don't feel bad about not wearing a two-piece. There is nothing special about them.

Praying_Mantis

sprepej wrote: »

Feel good about how you look in your one-piece. When I was in Spain, I, too, was the only woman in a 1 piece suit, but I saw a lot of bodies that could have benefited from a one-piece. Part of feeling good is dressing for your own body. You are at a good weight, and you look good in your one-piece, so don't feel bad about not wearing a two-piece. There is nothing special about them.

+1

I don't wear sleeveless shirts. Every woman I know of every size imaginable wears sleeveless shirts in the summer. I just feel awkward and weird each time I try to go without sleeves. After years of this, now I don't even bother buying "just that one top, 'cuz it's so cute". It'll just stay in a drawer.

Just do you. If you feel comfortable then you're all set.

ETA: spelling's hard.

mgodfrey0202

sprepej wrote: »

Feel good about how you look in your one-piece. When I was in Spain, I, too, was the only woman in a 1 piece suit, but I saw a lot of bodies that could have benefited from a one-piece. Part of feeling good is dressing for your own body. You are at a good weight, and you look good in your one-piece, so don't feel bad about not wearing a two-piece. There is nothing special about them.

Hahahaha. XD It reminds me of my friend's story. She used to live in Florida by beach. A nude beach. Evidently, the regulars, or rather pretty much anyone came to the beach, were like those you saw who definitely could've benefited from a one-piece.

CampLondon

LEAN, MEAN, POP PILATES MACHINE. – Kiersten D’nae Turpin
Read more at http://www.blogilates.com/blog/2012/05/11/my-top-motivational-fitness-quotes/#OmvX3rxI2C7tY7OX.99

Dgydad

I don't mean this in a harsh way - but suck it up, buttercup! You have made TREMENDOUS progress! If you look good in that one-piece, rock it! Your belly ain't the way it is 'cause you're too lazy to work. Maybe you don't want to share your "mommy marks", but that doesn't make them a badge of shame.................

iriemama85

CampLondon wrote: »

LEAN, MEAN, POP PILATES MACHINE. – Kiersten D’nae Turpin
Read more at http://www.blogilates.com/blog/2012/05/11/my-top-motivational-fitness-quotes/#OmvX3rxI2C7tY7OX.99

How is this relevant?

EvgeniZyntx

Why are you beating yourself up?
Why let that inner voice ruin Mexico for you?

terio818

Go have fun! Enjoy the warm ocean water on your body. I know it feels weird to be in the one piece but seriously, who can swim in a two piece? They're uncomfortable! Why do you think Olympic athletes wear a one piece? They're made to be active rather than just be.

LKArgh

OP some things are also cultural. I live in a country where we get a lot of tourists at summer and often it is easy to tell who is coming from where just by observing what they wear. Even at the beach. What you wear at the beach says more about where you are coming from thatn about how your body looks. Do not overthink it. The most obvious conclusion anyone would come to by analysing why you are in a one piece is that you are American, not that you are not "appropriately" dressed.
It is the beach. Not a formal event. No one really cares what you wear or how you look. Unless you are doing something to really attract attention, like going naked in a non-nudist beach, intentionally throwing sand on other people, or loudly cursing everyone, you are not going to be the centre of attention, people are too busy having a good time. Do not spend your holidays worrying over absolutely nothing. Go to the beach and have fun.

jofjltncb6

EvgeniZyntx wrote: »

Why are you beating yourself up?
Why let that inner voice ruin Mexico for you?

Don't let your opinion of what you believe will be others' opinions ruin a vacation. This leads to,nothing but regret. Get out there and get your swim on.

Grimmerick

Life is too short, meditate on that and go get some sun! Also I am assuming you're married or with someone (said you had kids), if so girl you have no one who you need to impress, and if you are perchance single then impress them some other time and enjoy the beach.

PikaKnight

jofjltncb6 wrote: »

EvgeniZyntx wrote: »

Why are you beating yourself up?
Why let that inner voice ruin Mexico for you?

Don't let your opinion of what you believe will be others' opinions ruin a vacation. This leads to,nothing but regret. Get out there and get your swim on.

x1000 to both the posts I'm quoting