Not Fair
Replies
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Larissa_NY wrote: »How is that unfair?
Look, restricting your calories now is the price you're paying for having eaten in a way that made you 60 pounds overweight in the first place. That kind of food intake doesn't come for free. You had the fun, now you're paying the credit card bill. Being mad at the people who can afford to splurge every now and then because they've always kept their spending habits under control is just going to trap you in a cycle of refusing to take responsibility for your own eating habits.
Agreed. OP reminds me of my coworker who makes passive comments on what I eat. When there is cake and I say it looks good "Yeah, but you would NEVER eat that!" then she'll appear shocked when I have a piece as if she expects me to balloon up right there. I'm 114 pounds but I love to eat. I can eat big often because I only have time to eat twice a day. I'm very active and I exercise 5 to 6 days per week as well. I'd say life is pretty fair regarding people who put in the physical work benefitting from enjoying big meals when they want to eat them.
Yeah, people who see me eat dinner (which is often the heaviest meal of my day) sometimes comment on what they think is a discrepancy between how much I weigh and what I eat. Of course, they aren't there when I have a light breakfast, skip snacks, and run regularly.
When we see people eat one meal (or one piece of cake), we need to realize that is *all* we're seeing. We're not seeing the rest of the foods and activity in that person's life.0 -
Life isn't unfair either. It just is. Fit in some Popeye's for yourself one of these days. Don't torture yourself. This is for the rest of your life. Enjoy.0
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It's true that life isn't fair, and it's not just about fried chicken either. It's so many issues !!!!!0
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Last night at the gym, I saw a woman I know whom I have always assumed to be one of those people who are just naturally thin. I was both surprised and happy to know that she has to work to look as good as she does. I don't think we have any idea what goes on in people's lives other than the short amount of time we are in contact with them.
Ya, the Zumba teacher at my gym has just finished teaching a class when I arrive. I see her on the Stairmaster the entire time I'm there. She might eat fried chicken at lunch too.0 -
So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
No. You are not losign weight because you think it is not fair and put your energy in wrongly envying others instead of working actively to change your lifestyle.
This woman who is skinny is either eating in total per day far less calories than you do (for all you know she has just a coffee for breakfat and a banana for dinner) or is far more active than you are (e.g. spends her evenings training for a marathon) or most probably a combination. Or at least, this has been the case the last years, or you would be thinner than her. Simple as that.0 -
Awesome video, thanks for posting. This should be a reply for those who complain about slow metabolism or swear they're logging accurately but keep gaining or can't lose.0 -
The video is great actually.
But for the OP, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's frustrating. but it will always be worth it. You do you and let her do her.0 -
Not Fair she says
while eating a 6" inch Subway Turkey and baked chips
Minimum calories when you eat 15 chips is 150 calories
Minimum available sub Turkey 280 calories ( sandwich)
This is when she only eat that. We are not talking about the whole bag of chips or one of their other fancy breads.
Or any dressing on the Turkey
Total 430 calories
The thin lady is eating fried popeyes chicken 1 serving about 355 calories ( i looked some servings up)
Of course this are all estimates
and for what it is worth...it isn't that hard when you eat right and everything and dont deprive your self were you dont have too ( if you dont have any medical issues)
Looking at other people wont make you thin or thick, in other words wont help you
You want to eat fried popeye chicken...eat it!!! fit it in your calorie allowance.
But dont judge or compare yourself with others. It wont make you thin and it is bad for your positive mood.
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OP, like everyone else has mentioned, you don't know your coworker's story. You don't know what she's doing the besides when you see her at work. You can't judge her health on one meal. I understand that it's frustrating trying to lose weight, but don't make it harder on yourself by comparing yourself to others. Don't make life harder on yourself by comparing yourself to others. Stay within your calorie goal and you will lose. You can have fried chicken if it fits in your calorie allotment for the week. It takes patience and consistency to lose weight. Good luck.0
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Here's the thing: if she can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight, then "whatever she wants"—including that fried chicken—is exactly what she needs to maintain her weight. If I had fried chicken and biscuits for lunch, I wouldn't want anything more than a light supper, unless I had done a serious workout in between.0
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Here's the thing: if she can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight, then "whatever she wants"—including that fried chicken—is exactly what she needs to maintain her weight. If I had fried chicken and biscuits for lunch, I wouldn't want anything more than a light supper, unless I had done a serious workout in between.
This is a good point. OP you are trying to lose weight - not sure what your calorie deficit is set at, but let's just go with the most common goal of 1 lb/week so you have a 500 cal deficit. If your coworker is maintaining her weight, even if she is the same height, weight, age, and activity level as you, she would have roughly an extra 500 cals to work with. That should easily accommodate the difference between your sub sandwich and her fried chicken serving. That's again, not taking into account the fact that you are seeing one meal that she eats, and have no insight as to what the rest of her daily CICO is like.
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BurnWithBarn2015 wrote: »Not Fair she says
while eating a 6" inch Subway Turkey and baked chips
Minimum calories when you eat 15 chips is 150 calories
Minimum available sub Turkey 280 calories ( sandwich)
This is when she only eat that. We are not talking about the whole bag of chips or one of their other fancy breads.
Or any dressing on the Turkey
Total 430 calories
The thin lady is eating fried popeyes chicken 1 serving about 355 calories ( i looked some servings up)
Of course this are all estimates
and for what it is worth...it isn't that hard when you eat right and everything and dont deprive your self were you dont have too ( if you dont have any medical issues)
Looking at other people wont make you thin or thick, in other words wont help you
You want to eat fried popeye chicken...eat it!!! fit it in your calorie allowance.
But dont judge or compare yourself with others. It wont make you thin and it is bad for your positive mood.
Well Popeyes biscuits are 280 calories, and chicken pieces go from 160 for a wing to 440 calories for a breast.
So yeah, for the same calories as a 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, you can have a fried chicken leg and a biscuit... but the sub alone is probably more nutritious (I'd skip the chips, but baked chips are just not worth it for me).0 -
So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
Life is not fair when innocent kids die and horrible people don't not because you are having to eat a yummy but different lunch because you made that choice.
She can't eat more calories than she burns every day and not gain weight either.
She might be able to eat more calories for lunch than you because she is more active or chooses to eat less other times. She might be able to moderate her food without calorie counting like us. We have great tools and choices too.0 -
BurnWithBarn2015 wrote: »Not Fair she says
while eating a 6" inch Subway Turkey and baked chips
Minimum calories when you eat 15 chips is 150 calories
Minimum available sub Turkey 280 calories ( sandwich)
This is when she only eat that. We are not talking about the whole bag of chips or one of their other fancy breads.
Or any dressing on the Turkey
Total 430 calories
The thin lady is eating fried popeyes chicken 1 serving about 355 calories ( i looked some servings up)
Of course this are all estimates
and for what it is worth...it isn't that hard when you eat right and everything and dont deprive your self were you dont have too ( if you dont have any medical issues)
Looking at other people wont make you thin or thick, in other words wont help you
You want to eat fried popeye chicken...eat it!!! fit it in your calorie allowance.
But dont judge or compare yourself with others. It wont make you thin and it is bad for your positive mood.
Well Popeyes biscuits are 280 calories, and chicken pieces go from 160 for a wing to 440 calories for a breast.
So yeah, for the same calories as a 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, you can have a fried chicken leg and a biscuit... but the sub alone is probably more nutritious (I'd skip the chips, but baked chips are just not worth it for me).
I just mean that you can not look at somebody else and what their food is.
Life and so is what you eat...is about making choices. Good or bad etc.
I ate pizza what i was 261 lbs and now that i am 144 lbs i still eat pizza. Only i control what i eat. I make sure i fill up on "cheap" calorie foods during the day so i can eat as much pizza as i can when we go out or buy pizza....but i keep an eye on my calorie allowance.
and sometimes not even that but i go back the next days to cutting a bit what i ate to much the "pizza day" before.
So maybe that thin lady "saved" some calories from days before or she will after.
Fact remains that people who are at a healthy weight and stay at a healthy weight eating the right amount of calories ( average a day)
So you can not look at somebody else only when you watch them for 24 hours and for several weeks. Because one day dont even say anything.
And like i said watch your own intake that is your worry nobodies else. Just like the "thin lady has her own responsibility and decision to make over her intake.
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Yep. You have no clue what she's eating all day! She could possibly maintain anywhere from 1800-2500 calories. So she eats a 1000 calorie lunch? Big deal.
I can sit down to a 1500-2000 calorie meal every Saturday and maintain my weight. But I track and weigh all my food. I know exactly what I'm doing with that meal. Someone sitting next to me may assume I eat like that all the time.0 -
arditarose wrote: »Yep. You have no clue what she's eating all day! She could possibly maintain anywhere from 1800-2500 calories. So she eats a 1000 calorie lunch? Big deal.
I can sit down to a 1500-2000 calorie meal every Saturday and maintain my weight. But I track and weigh all my food. I know exactly what I'm doing with that meal. Someone sitting next to me may assume I eat like that all the time.
But not only for one day, she can eat two days 1500 and that day with the popeyes she at more who will tell.
My average is 2000 daily so 14000 a week. But doesn't mean i eat every single day exactly 2000 Some days i eat 1500 and others like yesterday 2800 lol Just because i cooked yummie stuff.
So you can not look at somebody else. 0 -
sunparakeet wrote: »
There is a girl I work with that is like you. She is 100 pounds overweight. She was SHOCKED when I told her I drank beer. Like, literally shocked. HOW ARE YOU SO SKINNY? There's no way you drink beer! She was practically shouting at me. I told her yes, I do drink beer. I drink beer in moderation and only on occasion. I don't chug a twelve pack every night. She also gets outraged at our other co-worker when she brings french fries and fried zucchini from the local diner to lunch. Said skinny co-worker buys this as a once-a-month treat for herself. ONCE A MONTH. But to our fat co-worker, she eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and stays skinny, and life just isn't fair.
This actually kinda makes sense to me. To a fat person, who is shamed by society for existing and who is told that single foods/meals are the problem. That doesn't truly understand how CICO can work over a long span of time to allow them to both reach a healthy weight and still ever eat food that is deemed "bad", this is their truth. You can eat food that they should never eat, THEY THINK, which isn't fair. The problem isn't that it isn't fair, it's that they have been sold black and white diet thinking that makes them give up on themselves.
Lived that life for years. It stinks.
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It's not fair, women get to eat more calories/burn more calories when breastfeeding. It's okay though because my diet is better than those other peoples diets.0
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I used to be someone you would say "She eats whatever she wants and she is still skinny - it's not fair!"
I used to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. However, I was still growing and had a hours walk each day for school (there and back) and worked a very active job at a bookshop (carrying around 10-20kgs of books around the shop putting them away, running to the counter, squatting, lifting etc.)
Then I left school, got a desk job, stopped growing and guess what - the weight slowly crept on. I gained 10kgs in 4 years and while I would still be described as "skinny", if my habits didn't change, I would one day be overweight.
No one can eat an unlimited number of calories and still be "skinny" - it doesn't work that way. The skinny person eating a whole pizza might not eat anything else that day, may be working their butt off in the gym, might be the only "indulgence" that week etc.0 -
... while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. ...
People used to make similar comments about me. I was very slender (almost there again!
) but ate a lot. They used to say that every time they saw me, I was eating ... and how was it I didn't gain weight.
What they didn't factor into the equation was that I was cycling 300 kilometres a week.
They could have been equally as slender if they were willing to do that.
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“Life isn't fair, it's just fairer than death, that's all.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride0 -
I read this post & thread earlier today. And it bugged me, really bugged me about OP attitude.
So as I was cooking up shrimp for dinner tonight, I boiled half for lunch tomorrow... Then promptly threw the other half in delicious spicy fish fry seasoning, fried it up & downed it with a nice cold Wild Huckleberry wheat lager (last one eft over from our summer vacation to Glacier).
Fried shrimp & beer for dinner, purposely for the ridiculous notions of OP.
Life was quite fair to me today -- I'm alive, healthy & going to sleep in a warm bed.
Change your perspective, OP.0 -
Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.0
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Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.
Obviously...due to height, weight, activity level, gender, age...
A 5'9" woman weighing 150 pounds who is very active is obviously going to maintain on more than me at 5'4", 130lbs, lightly active.0 -
arditarose wrote: »Yep. You have no clue what she's eating all day! She could possibly maintain anywhere from 1800-2500 calories. So she eats a 1000 calorie lunch? Big deal.
I can sit down to a 1500-2000 calorie meal every Saturday and maintain my weight. But I track and weigh all my food. I know exactly what I'm doing with that meal. Someone sitting next to me may assume I eat like that all the time.Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.
...umm, I believe that is EXACTLY what arditarose just said. As well as others before.
People loss, maintain, or gain based on their own physiology (and their metabolism).-1 -
Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.
They get more from having more muscle mass and being more active, not from some magical 'high metabolism'.
This whole post reminds me of a video I used to play for my kids when they were little... Kids for Character featuring Tom Selleck... Lambchop performs 'It's Not Fair' as one of the foundations of character. The 6 pillars for anyone who hasn't seen it: Fairness, Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Caring, and Citizenship. My kids loved that movie, and I think it definitely helped form their character.0 -
sunparakeet wrote: »
There is a girl I work with that is like you. She is 100 pounds overweight. She was SHOCKED when I told her I drank beer. Like, literally shocked. HOW ARE YOU SO SKINNY? There's no way you drink beer! She was practically shouting at me. I told her yes, I do drink beer. I drink beer in moderation and only on occasion. I don't chug a twelve pack every night. She also gets outraged at our other co-worker when she brings french fries and fried zucchini from the local diner to lunch. Said skinny co-worker buys this as a once-a-month treat for herself. ONCE A MONTH. But to our fat co-worker, she eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and stays skinny, and life just isn't fair.
This actually kinda makes sense to me. To a fat person, who is shamed by society for existing and who is told that single foods/meals are the problem. That doesn't truly understand how CICO can work over a long span of time to allow them to both reach a healthy weight and still ever eat food that is deemed "bad", this is their truth. You can eat food that they should never eat, THEY THINK, which isn't fair. The problem isn't that it isn't fair, it's that they have been sold black and white diet thinking that makes them give up on themselves.
Lived that life for years. It stinks.
Stinks? At 100 lbs overweight you're telling me the big gal hasn't done her fair share of eating whatever the heck she wants? More so than the thin women in that anecdote?
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9AdlhB18o
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4&feature=youtu.be
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