Becoming depressed and obsessive

RLFlores92

A long time ago I used to be anorexic and was admitted into a hospital. I was 16 and now I'm 23. I gained a lot of weight within the last 5 years. I went from 120lbs to 170lbs. Sometimes I have my good days and I feel great about my body, other days I feel horrible and fat. Today is a fat day. recently I've been a lot more strict about my diet. Maybe for the past couple of weeks. On average I eat around 1100 to 1200 calories even though I have my deficit set to 1300. Today I went out to lunch with my boyfriend and now I'm in a pretty low place for eating a bad food. Also I haven't weighed myself in maybe a couple of weeks because I'm anxious to see what my weight is. I haven't been successful in losing weight even though I've been at it for 7 months now. I know it's because my diet was horrible and I thought I was eating okay and exercising.
I'm just getting really down about the fact that I don't think I can do this.

pootle1972

Do you still have a therapist? Maybe have a chat about the anxiety around food.

RLFlores92

No I work full time and go to school full time so I don't know if I would have a lot of time to see a therapist to be completely honest

srv524

You're going to have good days and bad days. As long as the good days really outnumber the bad days, you can go over your calorie allotment a bit here and there.

I think your bigger issue is obviously the psychological one. If you get that sorted out, you'll be in better shape. Easier said than done of course, but would you be able to run with a bad knee? No, you get that fixed first before risking further injury which would set you back even more.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

An eating disorder is not something that just goes away forever. You will always deal with some aspect of it for the rest of your life. It sounds like you are in a point in your life where you need to reach out for some help to get back on track. Even though you're really busy, you may need to make this issue a priority.

daltonjsmom

There are like a million groups on MFP. Do you belong to any that you feel might support you with this? There is a binge eating group, a juicers group, and I have found several MFP pals who have migraines, all of which has helped me quite a bit; I have very little support in my actual life for any of my healthy eating. You might check that out. Also, if you don't have MFP pals, you might go to the new users/introduce yourself section to solicit some. Just a suggestion. Don't quit, honey, you are worth it!