Dear Will Power,

Options
akern1987
akern1987 Posts: 288 Member
in Motivation and Support

Where have you been? I've been looking for you these past 27 years or so, I went to all the regular spots: the gym, the pool, the magazine cover with that hott girl I wish I looked like, but you were never there?
I asked myself over and over why you had decided to abandon me, but then I realized it was me who's been hiding from you. In the kitchen, the restaurant, the secret candy drawer I always kept for my "stash." I was hiding in the open, convinced it was everyone else's fault that I had gotten this fat; I told myself it was because my mom was fat (RIP mom-I lost her in September), because that's who I was too, the chubby girl, funny and sweet, but that's all.
I told myself that if no one saw me, it didn't count, and I could eat it. I decided to sit on my butt instead of going outside to play, run, swim, whatever. I convinced myself you had left me long ago.
I found you though, in the empty space between my butt and thighs in my jeans, in the 8 glasses of water I make sure I drink everyday, and in every decision I make to better myself (I'll have the dressing on the side please; no mayo on that, thanks and of course, can I get that with steamed veggies instead of fries).
I found you in my father's eyes each time I went to him, and he saw that I had lost a little more, and I found you when my boyfriend was able to pick me up off the floor (if only for a moment); and I found you in myself when I didn't eat that thing (whatever it was) just because I was bored.
I'm sorry I was so mad at you for so long, but I'm ready to make amends for all the wrong I've done. I hope you can forgive me and willingly come back into my life for the good, the rough and the everything. I need you more than I really ever knew, and I hope you understand that I wasn't trying to ignore your call; I was just too lazy to get up.

Replies

Categories