Self Sabotage

Tattoos_and_Tea

Hey, can anyone give me some advice on how to stop self sabotaging? When I'm alone I keep binging on unhealthy foods, ill even purposely go out to buy it! My weight is rocketing but I can't get myself out of this way of thinking. How can I stop myself?

maxally777

I had the same problem recently and now my clothes don't fit right and I'm so unhappy with the way I look. Have you gotten on the scale to see your weight at all? Sometimes that's a scary thing but it wakes you up. Also I know this sounds funny but I had a party to go to and I went to the store to buy something to wear and first of all nothing looked good but also you really se yourself in those dressing room mirrors and that might help motivate you to stop.

Also I read something recently that just clicked for me. Think about what the food you are about to eat is going to do to your body. It's certainly not going to make you any thinner and chances are its processed food you're eating for comfort because it makes you feel good while you are eating it. Think of the after effects and how it makes you feel emotionally after you binge. I was allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted. If you just allow it to happen it will. You can stop but you have to really want to. The more you binge the more your body craves comfort food. Try eating healthy for 3 days and see how much better you start to feel. What do you have to lose? Don't make the mistake of letting yourself get too hungry by skipping meals either. I think if you have a problem with binging it can be a trigger to get really hungry. Try first just cutting out processed food and you will feel a difference in the way you feel when you wake up in the morning.

Any questions with nutrition I can help. Add me as a friend. Hope you have a good day.

allenpriest

Counselling. You have to learn why. What emotions are you stuffing down. What is the trigger. What part of your life feels out of control so that you are eating to feel in control. i think you have to understand that before you can really win at weight loss.

Tattoos_and_Tea

Hey, thanks for your reply. Ideally I would like to lose 3 stone. I have stepped on the scales and seen my weight but it just upsets me so I wait until the OH has gone to work then I binge out. I hate the way I look with no clothes on and I hate the number on the scales. I would have thought that would be enough to kick start me but its going the opposite. I'm on day two of healthy eating so will see how it goes I guess.

Tattoos_and_Tea

I really don't believe there is anything Allen, I'm perfectly happy with my life apart from the way I look!

allenpriest

sazzle1983 wrote: »

I really don't believe there is anything Allen, I'm perfectly happy with my life apart from the way I look!

Good. That's frequently not the case.

If you have recently cut your calories way back you may have gone too far. I started by easing into things. After the counselling that is. At first all I focused on was logging at maintenance. Pre logging got me thinking about the choice I was making and I started making better choices. Then I reset the calorie goal for.5 pound per week loss. A few more months and I went to one pound per week. After a year or so I went to one and a half pound per week.

Now I was more than 200 pounds overweight. I realized that was going to take time and a complete change in lifestyle. Its been two years and I am more than half way there.


But I had to first understand why and then I learned different skills to cope with those emotions rather than eating.


It would still be a good idea to write down how you are feeling when you are craving and think about if there's a trigger.

lemonlionheart

sazzle1983 wrote: »

I really don't believe there is anything Allen, I'm perfectly happy with my life apart from the way I look!

Could be boredom related then? You mentioned waiting until your partner has gone to work, are you a SAHM? It might help for you to get more structure into your day so you have less time to binge, and find things that are motivating to distract you. It's also very much a matter of habit forming- I gained some weight after I finished uni and was unemployed for a few months but I found that after a week of sticking to a meal schedule and pre-logging my food I was no longer getting the urge to eat mindlessly. Your body and mind needs to get used to not being full all the time. Something I found really helpful was that I stopped weighing myself and just tracked my ability to stick to my calorie goal. I used a reward chart with stickers for each day I was able to stay in my goal, and found myself motivated by each consecutive day I stuck to it

MelaniaTrump

Plan what you are going to eat the day before. Make sure you get enough daily calories so you do not go hungry and binge.
Ex: Go to the store and buy plenty of stuff to make a green salad to eat for lunches. And eat it before you are actually hungry. Keep fruits and veggies around. A go to lunch for me is also a lean chicken breast with a side of broccoli. Please never go hungry. A glass of milk can often make a mini-meal.

ldowdesw

I've sabotaged my healthy eating for the last 2 days, partly due to waiting to long for my evening meal, and mainly feeling fed up and eating through my emotions. I've broke the habit before it became a habit I couldn't break. I want this more than a nutrigrain bar. As of today, I'm back to being sensible

Janehds0284

I started by not buying any unhealthy food into my house. Sometimes I'm craving them so bad but I only have healthy food in my fridge so I have no choice but eating them or just drink water.

Then when I go out I felt like I did well at home why would I break it.

I am not really that good at self control but at least this help me a bit.

callsitlikeiseeit

when you decide to change, you will.

MelaniaTrump

callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »

when you decide to change, you will.

That was a powerful answer. Almost sounds like someone else wants you to get thin. You have to do it for yourself.

Tattoos_and_Tea

Thank you all so much

kshama2001

I've successfully used cognitive behavioral techniques to manage sabotaging thoughts around alcohol and food:

This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so maybe yours too.

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)

kshama2001

sazzle1983 wrote: »

Hey, thanks for your reply. Ideally I would like to lose 3 stone. I have stepped on the scales and seen my weight but it just upsets me so I wait until the OH has gone to work then I binge out. I hate the way I look with no clothes on and I hate the number on the scales. I would have thought that would be enough to kick start me but its going the opposite. I'm on day two of healthy eating so will see how it goes I guess.

Since you only have 42 pounds to lose, do set your weekly weight loss goal to no more than 1 pound per week. You could likely feel deprived on a greater calorie deficit, which can also lead to binging and giving up.

ponycyndi

I used to do the same thing, until I wanted my pants to fit MORE than I wanted to stuff my face.

vivmom2014

You can still eat your favorite foods - but it is imperative to watch your portions. Use a food scale.

If you want to gorge on cookies, you're going to have to weigh and record all of them. And see the number of calories consumed. The truth will set you free, but you've got to face it first.

And if cookies are too tempting for you right now, keep them out of the house until you can master more control around them. Beware harsh restrictions, however. You've got to find a sensible way of eating that's going to carry you through the long haul.

I agree with checking to make sure your calorie goal isn't too aggressive.

Tattoos_and_Tea

Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x

vivmom2014

sazzle1983 wrote: »

Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x

You can always give yourself more calories and lose at a slightly slower rate. Which gets my vote every time.

faramelee

I definitely agree with many of the above suggestions, certainly regarding counselling and checking that you haven't set your calories too low. Also to ensure that what you are eating is nutritious and satisfying. It's all very well staying within calories but if the food isn't nutritious and filling you are more likely to binge.

What are you thinking when you get ready to go out and purposely buy, as you call them, unhealthy foods? What are you doing when you decide you have to have that particular food stuff? Are you a stay at home mum and if so is your child at home with you or have they started school recently? Can you distract yourself from the cravings?

I'm sorry, so many questions! There is definitely something going on somewhere though and you've already made positive first steps - you have awareness and you're asking for help!

I hope that you find a solution

JackieMarie1989jgw

vivmom2014 wrote: »

sazzle1983 wrote: »

Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x

You can always give yourself more calories and lose at a slightly slower rate. Which gets my vote every time.

Agreed! I tried 1200 once and found it to be so restrictive I couldnt maintain it without feeling like crap, so I bumped myself up to 1450 and was able to stick with that and meet my goal. Being able to stick with it might be worth taking a bit longer to meet those goals