How do you motivate yourself??

yummysesame

Hi everyone,

Just wondering what you tell yourself when you overeat or miss out a workout...

Because I was so hungry tonight (unusual for me to feel that ravenous) and I just pigged out at dinner (it was all healthy food though), plus missed my workout because I was feeling so sluggish and tired!! I kept telling myself "look how much weight you've lost, look at the progress you've made" but whenever I go over my caloric goal or fail to make it to the gym I feel so down that it ruins my day

and I can't help ruminating on these little 'failures' and think about how I set myself back. Grrrrr being a perfectionist is so tiring sometimes!!

QueenofHearts023

I just make sure I try my best to do better the next day. There are going to be bad and good days, how you deal with the bad ones is what matters.

I can easily throw up my hands in the air and quit, but then I won't reach my goal ever. Or I can get back on track the next day, and my goal might just be delayed by a little bit, but I will still reach it.

It's also helpful to remember that this is a change I make in my lifestyle, a permanent change, so it's not something that's going to end like a diet. That means there's plenty of time to fix mistakes.

CoffeeNCardio

I'm with Queen. You have to focus on the day to day here. One day will not derail your weight loss efforts. It really won't. The problems arise when you let yourself get SO down about that one day that it turns into a week of not giving a rip because why bother right? If you go over today, you can always come under tomorrow to make up for it too. Try to think of calorie allowances like a paycheck, You only have 1400 dollars to make it through today, and an apple is 300 dollars. If you go over your spending this week in real life money, you'd cut down your purchases next week to make up for it right? Because unlike calories, money is finite. You can't just get more when you need/want it. If I go over today I make a point to make it up tomorrow. Lots of people on here calculate calories by the week, just like a paycheck, so they can have an indulgent Saturday or whatever. Like saving up for a vacation by not buying concert tickets today. I find adopting this mindset easier than trying to motivate myself. I would never just blow money on stuff, that makes for badness all around, so when I treat my calories like money, I find it's not so hard to summon the willpower to not blow them all in one place either.

bendyourkneekatie

My goal this year is to run a marathon. Like most marathon first timers, my goal is just to finish, and while I have certain hopes about times, it's all about crossing that finishing line, even if I have to slow down at times, or even walk, or even pause to catch my breath/throw up/pretend to tie my shoelaces while I wonder why this was something I wanted to do.
I see weight loss the same way. Out there, somewhere in your future, is your goal weight. It would be nice to stay on pace 100% of the time and get there as soon as possible, but the main thing is getting there. So if you have a bad day? Week? Month? As long as you don't give up, all you've lost is a bit of time. You're still on the right track, you're still going to get there.

tomteboda

My personal trainer has a "no excuses to miss a workout" attitude.

QueenofHearts023

tomteboda wrote: »

My personal trainer has a "no excuses to miss a workout" attitude.

Aww he's beautiful.

tomteboda

QueenofHearts023 wrote: »

Aww he's beautiful.

Thank you!

vwilliams003

I tell myself it's okay. I screwed up - people do at times. Then calculate the extra calories and add time to my workouts to make up for them. This is a lifelong eating habit change not temporary so I also look at how o was feeling at the time; because I tend to be an emotional eater. I self medicate with food.

Murano243

How old are you?


Semper-Fi

jemhh

I am starting to feel like motivation is overrated. At this point I see exercise and eating well as necessities in my life. Like showering or wearing clothes or putting gas in the car. You gotta do what you gotta do.

bisky

tomteboda wrote: »

My personal trainer has a "no excuses to miss a workout" attitude.

How could you say no to that face! I love walking/hiking with my dogs.

arditarose

When I overeat-no big deal, get back on track or-I have 7 days to fix this.
When I skip a workout-I have 7 days to fit this one in.

cwolfman13

I have realistic expectations...I know I'm not going to be bang on 100% of the time...I know sometimes life happens and I'm going to miss a workout...it's all pretty irrelevant so long as I'm doing what I need to be doing most of the time.

Have realistic expectations...lose the it's gotta be all or nothing mentality.

emmycantbemeeko

I think some of us who are not lifetime exercisers/moderate eaters overestimate how excited or "motivated" other people are to get in a workout or eat within their calorie limits. Diet and health advice can sometimes make this worse by implying that you to lose weight and keep it off, you need to make healthy meals "delicious" or that we need to find activities we "love." Sure, those things are great when they line up, and they can certainly help compliance, but if you get in to a mindset of only doing things you feel highly motivated to do, and only sticking with the plan for as long as you're perfect at it, you will probably stop when you hit a roadbump like something being difficult or boring or inconvenient.

jemhh wrote: »

I am starting to feel like motivation is overrated. At this point I see exercise and eating well as necessities in my life. Like showering or wearing clothes or putting gas in the car. You gotta do what you gotta do.

I love this. Moving more and eating less can't be motivated for long for most of us strictly by inherently loving them *or* by their immediate positive results. I don't (and I imagine you don't) get up in the morning and brush my teeth because it's a super fun activity, or because I get a big immediate thrill out of having clean teeth. I do it because I want to have healthy teeth in my head and tolerable breath, I want those things forever, and I'm aware that to avoid having nasty breath and rotting teeth that I have to brush my teeth consistently, forever, even though there are probably more entertaining ways to spend that two minutes.

And if for some reason I'm truly unable to brush my teeth one morning, I don't beat myself up about it- I do my best for the day by chewing some gum or grabbing a toothbrush at the drugstore to brush after lunch, and I get right back in the habit by brushing them that night. I don't ruminate on how I've failed at dental hygiene forever and I'll never be a person with clean teeth and give up on ever brushing again. And I don't delude myself that oral hygiene is a short-term thing, that I can brush my teeth a LOT for a few weeks and then not brush for months or years and hope to maintain clean teeth, or worry that a single day of imperfect flossing and brushing is going to derail my overall progress. It's a long-haul thing. I'm "motivated" by accepting that it just is what it is, and that the alternatives to brushing are having rotten teeth and other, even more painful problems. That's my motivation to keep doing it.

Likewise eating less and moving more. The alternatives to doing it are gaining weight, hating how I look and feel, and knowing that I'm at increased risk for cardiac problems and diabetes that run in my family. That's my motivation.

Moving your body around and eating an appropriate caloric intake for your size is, in that way, just like brushing your teeth. It's not a quick fix or something that I think most people do out of sheer love for the activities themselves, but because it's a necessary, forever part of maintaining a healthy body, and if you don't do it, your body will gradually break down, just like unbrushed teeth.

ahoy_m8

So many great responses! Esp the pup! Thanks, everyone.

tomteboda

bisky wrote: »

How could you say no to that face! I love walking/hiking with my dogs.

Exactly!!!

SarahR0811

I am a perfectionist as well. I've been obese most of my life, and I've been dieting half of it. The best thing I did was start being nice to myself. Encouraging myself in workouts, saying one day doesn't ruin the whole plan. I get right back on the wagon so to speak, but being nicer to myself has been huge. It makes me root for myself and automatically make better choices because I like myself and I want to do better

bellabonbons

You don't motivate yourself. You just keep going keep pushing and keep making the decision, the feelings come later when you see awesome results!!!

trjjoy

jemhh wrote: »

I am starting to feel like motivation is overrated. At this point I see exercise and eating well as necessities in my life. Like showering or wearing clothes or putting gas in the car. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Amen to this.

smurfbus

I set long and short term goals. Mostly weight lifting based but at this time of year also fat reduction for summer.
Short term works to get your workouts efficient and your calories in check/weekly and long term goals keep you going when you have troubles.

feisty_bucket

emmycantbemeeko wrote: »

I think some of us who are not lifetime exercisers/moderate eaters overestimate how excited or "motivated" other people are to get in a workout or eat within their calorie limits. Diet and health advice can sometimes make this worse by implying that you to lose weight and keep it off, you need to make healthy meals "delicious" or that we need to find activities we "love."

Preach on, yes, thanks. I've been "doing" fitness stuff most of my life now and there's nothing exciting about it. It's straight-up boring if I were to think about it (which I don't). It's just something that has to be done, so I do it.

There's too much advice on here about "finding something fun you love to do so you'll stick with it!" which is, IMO, irrelevant and the wrong way to think about it. Leads to people half-way enjoying half-useless activities and then getting bored (because none of it's THAT fun, and not as fun as face-stuffing with TV) and quitting. To resume the face-stuffing-with-TV hobby.

cwolfman13 wrote: »

Have realistic expectations...lose the it's gotta be all or nothing mentality.

Good too. Perfectionism is bad news - if you can shake it, that'd be very helpful. Kaizen - continual improvement - is a good principle to shoot for, and being kindly/empathetic with your self-talk.

ziggy2006

yummysesame wrote: »

and I can't help ruminating on these little 'failures' and think about how I set myself back. Grrrrr being a perfectionist is so tiring sometimes!!

I think this is the key to understanding what is going on. Perfectionism leads to black and white thinking, and when applied to the dieting situation you described, it leads you to interpret the situation as only having two possible outcomes - success (adhering perfectly to your plan) or failure (deviating even one little bit from your plan).

I'm trying to think of an analogy, and the best I can come up with is that it is like a football team whose offense consists of going for a touchdown every play, as that is the perfect outcome. They aren't able to be successful because they don't have the necessary repertoire of strategies.

How could you handle situations where you are extremely hungry at mealtime and unable to stick to your eating plan? How can you redefine success in situations such as this when you aren't able to stick perfectly to your plan? It is a real challenge for a perfectionist to find and accept shades of grey, but it is essential to your long term success in managing your weight to be able to do so. You need to be able to do the same for situations where you are sluggish and tired when it is workout time. Redefining success in that situation might be as simple as replacing your regular workout with taking the dogs out for a long walk. But it is hard to see or accept those possibilities when you are locked into perfectionistic thinking.

Beating yourself up mentally over your "failures" is nonproductive behavior. It takes time and hard work to learn to manage your perfectionist tendencies, and the first step is acknowledging and accepting that it leads to cognitive distortions that cause you to perceive reality inaccurately. Being able to recognize when you slip into mental habits like black or white thinking or labeling (imperfections get labeled as "failures") will be invaluable in helping you to reach your goals.

cbelc2

I have this beautiful picture of a thin healthy woman front and center on my bulletin board at work. I face her every day. One day she will be in the mirror.