How do I motivate my man to stay fit sexy for me?!

ktfranke

Been married to a wonderful man for over 7 years now! We have 3 beautiful kids, and I have busted my booty to stay sexy after babies! But my husband has really let himself go... He's 50lbs up from when we met, and most of the time he just sits on the couch eating ice cream watching me while I work out! Lol! How do I lovingly motivate him to get back into shape and start looking sexy for me?!

ElizabethOakes2

You can't, really. Until he's ready to make changes, he won't. It took my husband's doctor warning him that if he didn't get his blood sugar under control and his cholesterol levels down he was going to die to get him to see he needed change.
One thing you can do is sit down and have a talk with him about being a good example to your kids, and suggesting outdoor active family activities- going for hikes, going mini-golfing or bicycling to get all of you outdoors and being active. If he doesn't want to participate, there's not much you can do.

sheermomentum

You don't. But, I can't see any harm in suggesting to him that you're worried about his long-term health and telling him that you're hoping to spend as many years together as possible.

ktfranke

Thanks @ElizabethOakes2 & @sheermomentum! Both are good advice!

hotnumber

Get a babysitter for the kids, buy a gym day pass, take your husband to the gym with you and workout together. Who knows, he might like exercising if he's not doing it alone. Or just go for a walk after dinner

mjwarbeck

There will be a time when he looks at a picture and has an an ah ha moment. I would say don't force it...but you have to discover what is the trigger to get him to be active....just buying him a gym pass won't work.

ktfranke

Thanks @hotnumber & @mjwarbeck! These are all good things to consider! Thanks for the feedback! I like the idea of getting a sitter to go do something active together!

zoeysasha37

You can't. He has to want it for himself. Be careful as to how you go about this because if you say the wrong things, he could end up resenting the idea of getting fit all together.
Instead of worrying about his fitness, just remain focused on yourself. Let him come to the realization that he's let himself go , on his own time. It means nothing unless he really wants this for himself .

ktfranke

Thanks @thorsmom01! You are so right! I don't want him to shut down and push me away if I say something in the wrong way... I want to encourage him, not make him resentful. I thinks it's time for me to wait for him to come around

zoeysasha37

ktfranke wrote: »

Thanks @thorsmom01! You are so right! I don't want him to shut down and push me away if I say something in the wrong way... I want to encourage him, not make him resentful. I thinks it's time for me to wait for him to come around

Lead by example then. Continue to be healthy and fit. Maybe he will catch on in time. Even if he doesn't , then At least you followed through for yourself.
He likely knows he is over weight and might feel badly about himself. If you start dropping little hints about him getting fit or eating better , you could push him further away from the idea. He won't change until he's ready .

Ptgaray

you should hire a sexy in shape personal trainer to work out with you (Like the Fabian kind) , while he sits on the couch. Then he might feel the competition.... LOL

jacklifts

just tell him he'd get more sex if he lost 50lbs.

StrongLife

He's lacking the 'juice' somewhere in his life and has fallen into a funk. I had a mini-version of this going on with me. I went 4 weeks without working out (and that is so not me) but my wife was so excited about Core Power Yoga and this Paleo way of eating. She just kept at it without even hinting of pushing me. Slowly I got more and more curious because it was working for her. Suddenly the inner motivation came back and I am back.

I don't think working the more sex into things could hurt ... just sayin.

rosebette

I wish I could be more encouraging, but I've been fighting this battle for almost 30 years with my husband. He is now Type II diabetic. I have only healthy food in my home, but he gets the bad stuff at work. He's also very sedentary. I have been able to get him to take walks with me as "quality time" together. So far, that's kept more pounds from piling on, but he hasn't lost anything. I think a healthy body has to be something he wants for himself. Also, I think for many men, there isn't the same vanity factor working as there is for women; women are more self-critical about their bodies.

riverafamily6

See him differently. Look at him as your best friend instead of expecting him to be something for you. My hubby and I decided to join a gym together and are going to start racquet ball together. This will help keep us both fit and have fun together.

mjwarbeck

I'll chime in again..las in many ways I would be the husband: we have three kids (12, 7, 2), been married a bit longer (17 years)...and was 50 lbs above where I was when we married. Now, my wife is not athletic...but is thin and always looks stunning...

For me the weight came along with work. Always tired. Always stressed. My escape is to eat (and drink a bit too much). Sitting at home you don't realize how big you become.

For me it was about the kids. I got tired and could not play as much as I wanted with them. Also looking at pictures from summer you really get an idea of how big you have become.

In the end though it is routine that needs to change. We cut tv...only on weekends and never when at the cottage. On the weekends, I take the kids out to play...or shop..or what ever.

He has to be the one to change his routine...but you can help guide...as can the kids

ktfranke

Wow! Thanks everybody! I'm enjoying the input! I was especially struck by what @riverafamily6 said about looking at him as a best friend instead of expecting him to be something for me. I feel like I have been vain and selfish...