Relapse/disordered eating/ TW

KwonJiYong69

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY DISCORDED EATING;
For a month I managed to eat fine. I ate the reccomended calories for my height and weight. Always ate 3 meals - not skipping one at all. I felt happy with myself. But now its all gone wrong and I'm not sure why or what to do. This week ive just felt like the biggest most disgusting person on earth. Today i binged. I binged really bad and then thew up. I feel even more gross. Now I want to restrict my calories too a bad amount. I hate this. Mentally i feel huge, but physcially im still bmi 19.8. My therapist is on holiday and I won't see her for another 2 weeks( I will write but there will be 4-5days until a reply) So I guess I'm just reaching out for help on here. I hope this okay to post. I just need support and advice.

bumtobuffmom4

Ive been there. I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia. I believe much like alcoholics, if you have ever had an eating disorder, yoi will always have one. Its how you handle it that matters. I still feel unfit and fat but Im learning to look at myself through the eyes of my friends and family. I remember the pain and exhaustion I always experienced. I remember the lies, the hunger. And I tell myself that if I take my time, do this the right way, then when I do finally reach my goal I will be able to maintain that weight and feel good while I do it.

lyssa1210

You are worthy of treating your body with respect . You can think of your food as fuel for the vehicle which is your body . God only creates beauty. You are beautiful and your body needs food to survive.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

It's over, your through the rough patch! Say it over and over to yourself. You need to be your own therapist each and every day.
You know deep down your far from average weight let alone big.

Educate your self on weight gain. You control it. Stick to a healthy amount of calories each day (As set by your care team)
Look at the avi pics on here of the ladies who are stunning with really low body fat. View their diarys! They eat a huge amount of calories a day. The difference is they have muscle.
I wish you health and peace in your own skin. I spent over a decade in the place you are at now. It's awful and life is much better once you are through it and you can eat an ice cream or drink some wine without having a break down over it x

mountiesgirl

I have been there I relapsed and have learned that it happens and is a part of the recovery process when recovering from an eating disorder