Gym or Family?....

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Replies

  • Nuke_64
    Nuke_64 Posts: 406 Member
    I have had this thought as well but I always conclude that
    • I'm setting a good example
    • I need to do it now so I'm less of a burden on them later
    • I need to do it so I am healthier and more active with them now
    • I need to do it to reduce stress which will make me a more patient father

    I also try to do it at times when its least likely to take away from quality time with them. My wife and I are also financially cable of maximizing our quality time on the weekends by having housekeeping and lawn services.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    StaciMarie1974 wrote: »
    maddox93 wrote: »
    I always feel so guilty going to the gym for a couple hours, instead of spending that little free time I have from work and daily life/errands with my 3 boys and family. I use to workout 5 days a week when I only had 1, the more children the harder it gets to commit. I also have metabolic syndrome caused by PCOS if I don't workout like a fiend I basically don't lose anything, my body hates to give up the weight without a fight!! Any suggestions on either issue? Thanks! :-)

    I honestly think you need to find a balance. Time for yourself is important. But so is family. Finding a way to combine family & activity would be good. I'm assuming your kids are young? Take them to a park and play chase. Do active things together.

    Ya, in addition to having an extensive vegetable garden and raising goats, Mom did lots of active things with us - swimming, hiking, tubing, camping, skating, etc. We love the outdoors :)

    On the weekends these days, I often go for a three mile hike with my mom and brother on the trails near where they live. They are on their way over now to help me clear some branches that fell on my trail during the last storm.
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
    Can the OP go before work? I got up at 4:15 AM to hit the gym, work and have time for the kids after work.
  • caterpillardreams
    caterpillardreams Posts: 476 Member
    HI OP. Hope you are doing well. I also have 3 kids and I have been a SAHM for for 8 years. It has definitely been very very challenging finding that time for myself. I just recently joined a gym but for 7 years I always worked out at home. Its not easy but I was able to lose 70lbs after my second at home and at least 50 lbs after my 3rd at home. I did lots of dvds and youtube videos. when it was nice out I used a jogging stroller.
    Sometimes I would put a video on the computer for the kids with their own exercise mat so they can workout as well or If I knew they were gonna be around me I would lay a mat near me so they can follow along.
    The best time if possible if when they are asleep.
    Good luck, there is a way for you to spend time with them as well as take care of yourself.
    I have noticed if I let myself only give time to my kids and neglect myself it brought me down. So like others are saying balance is key not thats its easy but I think while on the journey to find it for you and your family you will find what works for you.
    Let us know what you try and how it works for you.
  • jmgj27
    jmgj27 Posts: 531 Member
    Yeah, it's hard. I have 19 month old twins and no local gym with a crèche so I guess the choice is made for me. I bought a reasonable treadmill for home use (and my husband has a good weights set) so I get 30-60 minutes done when the kids nap if I'm at home. Otherwise I just walk everywhere and get my exercise in like that!
  • ty_fit0815
    ty_fit0815 Posts: 67 Member
    Try the YMCA!! :)
  • k_nelson_24
    k_nelson_24 Posts: 251 Member
    My daughter is one and I hate to leave her to go to the gym!
    I normally go early early in the AM before she and my husband wake up or I go right after we put her to bed after 8 PM. And if I cant make it to the gym I will take her jogging with me!

    P.S. I go to the gym every other day.
  • jaynee7283
    jaynee7283 Posts: 160 Member
    I second the notion of going to the gym in the early morning BEFORE the kids get up. But then you also need to train yourself to go to bed no more than an hour after they do, so you don't become sleep-deprived.
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    Well a couple things here . . . # 1 lots of people with PCOS lose weight; it makes it difficult but the women I know with it don't have to "workout like a fiend" to lose weight, they just have to be sensible about their lifestyle.

    # 2) Your children are a big part of your life - totally get it, as much as someone without children can understand. However, being a mom isn't your only thing in life is it? You need to do things for you because when they're old enough to move out on their own, or go to university/college/etc, are you going to whine and cry a bit and think they'll stay home just because you want them to? I get that you are a parent, but you need to do things for you. A girlfriend of mine is a mom to two tweens and she is at the gym 5 days/week for 1-2 hours/day. She loves her kids, with every ounce of her being, but she has said she needs her time. She needs time for just thinking and quiet. Plus, those couple hours the kids come home, do chores or homework or whatever. It's time for everyone to have some alone time. You need to do it for you, plain and simple. Your family is a big part of your life, but not the only part of your life.
  • Shanel0916
    Shanel0916 Posts: 586 Member
    I go in the morning bout 4am or 5am even on weekends when they are sleep
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    That is a false dichotomy. Stop making excuses and find a way to make it work.

    Are you doing any workouts at home? Not all of your active time needs to be gym time.
  • CasperNaegle
    CasperNaegle Posts: 936 Member
    I agree with several above.. if they are safe and happy you are putting yourself in a position to be with them much longer in life!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goals
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.

    Not sure what you mean. I took my toddlers hiking (in backpack carriers when they were too small to keep up), biking (in a trailer before they had their own), on walks in a stroller, we danced, we played outside, we climbed and ran and jumped and had fun. I did consider this part of mothering as much or more than "exercising" but I stayed quite fit doing it.

    Depends a lot on the kids. We like hiking, but the last times we tried with the kids, well, we had to hear my daughter wail half the time, so we've pretty much given up on hiking (and vacations, too. My daughter almost ruined our last vacation because she was whining and crying every time we had to walk 5 minutes). And they don't like sports either.

    It's very annoying.

    But yeah, there are kids who are very much into that stuff, so it's worth a shot.
  • smcrimmon84
    smcrimmon84 Posts: 135 Member
    I totally understand this struggle as I work full time and have a 6 year old and 3 year old. I do sometimes feel like I am *choosing* the gym over hanging out with them on weeknights. I have an awesome husband who is super helpful and its still hard! I workout 5-6 days a week - one day I get up at 430 am and go before the rest of the house wakes up, 2 days I go after they go to bed at 8, one day I go at 645ish after we are done with dinner and my husband handles bath/bedtime and the other 2 days of the week are weekends so they are easy - I either go early before anyone else is really doing much of anything or take the kids with me - they love the childcare at the gym. It's easy to rationalize it on the weekends because I have all day with them but weekdays are much harder!
  • olympian41
    olympian41 Posts: 17 Member
    I've struggled with this in the past but just recently got back into the swing of things and go daily. My 1hr per day of exercise is part of my health commitment to my family - if I'm going to be here to spend more time with them in the future I need to invest in myself NOW.
  • rockstargreatness
    rockstargreatness Posts: 23 Member
    Could you play tag with your boys? That gets some activity in and involves you all.

    You could also bike with them or maybe walk a short distance with them.

    Do you have sports equipment. You could play basketball/baseball/tennis etc. with them.

    Or you could blare some music and dance with them. (Don't even need to go outside for this one.)

    These are some suggestions.

  • ClosetBayesian
    ClosetBayesian Posts: 836 Member
    maddox93 wrote: »
    I always feel so guilty going to the gym for a couple hours, instead of spending that little free time I have from work and daily life/errands with my 3 boys and family. I use to workout 5 days a week when I only had 1, the more children the harder it gets to commit. I also have metabolic syndrome caused by PCOS if I don't workout like a fiend I basically don't lose anything, my body hates to give up the weight without a fight!! Any suggestions on either issue? Thanks! :-)

    I completely understand where you're coming from. What I had to do was start waking up at 5AM and exercising at home at that hour. I have BeachBody on Demand (standard disclaimer: I am not a coach, I do not drink that ShakeAwfully stuff, etc.) , and really like the P90X3 workouts. Other people on MFP use FitnessBlender on YouTube. I don't like the idea of going to the gym and taking away from time with my kids, either (I see them for two, maybe three hours a day on weekdays), so working out at home before they get up works for me.
  • Bbeliever215
    Bbeliever215 Posts: 234 Member
    I wake up at 4:30 am 5-6 days a week before my hubby and kids are up. I also go on Sundays around 10 am. I look forward to the gym every single time. I do count it as my me time as I can zone out and not have to worry about anything. Sundays my husband and I either take turns going to the gym or go together if my mother watches them.
  • jeepinshawn
    jeepinshawn Posts: 642 Member
    I have 4 kids and have dealt with similar issues as you OP. I got daily burn and stream it to my TV, do the workouts after the kids go to sleep, sometimes my 3 and 6yo are awake and they try to do them with me. Otherwise we try and hike and do walks around the neighborhood together. I'm training for a half marathon now, so when the weather allows, my 6 yo will ride his bike with me while I run. When the weather stinks I wait and go to my works small gym after the kids have gone to bed.
  • napilibay
    napilibay Posts: 121 Member
    I have two little boys and have struggled finding time, but I definitely workout on the weekend which gives me only three days during the work week. I do one evening workout at home after 7, so I spend dinner and some playtime. Then two days I get up early before they wake, and workout at home. I vote to work from home to help save you some time!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    Why would you feel guilty about taking care of yourself, improving your health, and showing your children that self-care and health are a priority?

    Get up earlier, go to the gum earlier, minimize the amount of unnecessary time spent at the gym (like a shower), food prep on the weekends, so you spend less time in the kitchen during the week, do cardio at home with the kids (ride bikes with the kids, push a jogging stroller). Guilt is a lame excuse.
  • zdyb23456
    zdyb23456 Posts: 1,706 Member
    I workout 6 days a week, I don't feel guilty about it. When I'm happy, my family is happy :)

    Seriously though, I spend at most 60-70 minutes at the gym 2-3 days a week including showering and getting dressed. My kids can handle being away from me for that amount of time and I refuse to feel guilty about it. Heck, a Disney movie is longer than that and they beg me to watch a movie instead of spending quality time with me ;)

    The other days I workout are either before they are awake or after they are at school.
  • namelesshere
    namelesshere Posts: 334 Member
    Its what you do with the kids in the time you have with them that they will remember, not the time you didn't spend with them. On my father's death bed he was lamenting that he didn't spend as much time as he wanted with us as kids, but I hopefully made him realize that I had only good memories of our times spent together which in reality was a lot from a kid's viewpoint. Read the bedtime stories before you go if you are going to miss bedtime. Spend some time doing crafts, or cooking a simple appetizer snack for their supper with them, and I guarantee they will just know they have a loving, happy momma that does fun stuff with them.
  • KatrinaGrey
    KatrinaGrey Posts: 101 Member
    There were some great suggestions already. Just wanted to add that being healthy and setting a good example is a wonderful gift to children. A few hours a week by yourself is a good thing as well and you can make some days a family outing if possible!
  • mrtastybutt
    mrtastybutt Posts: 87 Member
    I think that taking time to take care of yourself is a great thing to do for your kids. They will appreciate it so much when they are old enough to do so.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    My wife and I swap nights...gym time for her means daddy and kid time...gym time for daddy means mommy and kid time. Our health and wellness and "me" time is just as important to us as family time. We also make lots of time on weekends to be together and active as a family...whether that's a hike, a family bike ride, swimming, or just a few hours walking around the zoo...we try to be active rather than sitting around the house watching t.v. or playing with ipads, etc. We view all of this, including out dedicated training time as positive examples for our kids.

    I would add that you don't need to spend 2 hours every night in the gym...I don't spend anymore than an hour. I only go to the gym three nights per week to lift and I cycle 4-5 days per week...I generally do my cycling in the wee hours of the morning before work or at lunch.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    edited February 2016
    Change your thinking.
    GYM time is not "free time." It is scheduled time for your health and thus the wellness your family as well.

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