Disordered thoughts, how to love the process?

beautifulsparkles

Some people lose weight by doing things they love, making simple changes, eating foods they enjoy etc...

I am doing a lot better than I was a year ago, but I still feel like I have to torture myself. Like I don't deserve to do fun things, or be happy or like the way I look because I am overweight. I aim to walk 10,000 steps a day (which I don't necessarily enjoy), try to eat a minimal amount of calories (I keep adjusting them out of guilt), cheat on weigh day by skipping meals or going to the toliet multiple times, eating things I don't enjoy etc.

I wish I could lose 1-2kg a week by doing things I love. I feel like I have to do at least 90 minutes of exercise a day, and it HAS to burn a lot of calories. I would rather go for a swim, bodyboarding, play table tennis or dance or something than walk and go to the gym, but I feel like I won't get the results I want. I want to have lots of stamina, lift heavy and be toned all over but I feel like I have to suffer to do that. I want to be able to run 10k or more, but I don't want to put in the work because running makes me uncomfortable (which is apparently quite uncommon).

Have any of you got to your goal weight at a reasonable weight without suffering? I guess if I did exercise I enjoyed, I would do more of it anyway, so I would end up burning enough calories.

I feel like I still eat way too much so I have to do lots of exercise. Some people only walk for 10 minutes some days, and I feel like if I only did 10 minutes, I would feel like a failure, or like it wouldn't be worth doing it at all. I'm such an all or nothing person.

fiddletime

I'm learning moderation. It's hard. I find the more I exercise the hungrier I am, so if I take a day off I'm less hungry and also need to eat less. I just do it. Log it, try to stay under, and try not to "suffer". I wasn't happy being overweight, but did enjoy overeating- for the minute of instant gratification it provided. I'm working on making a change in how I eat for the rest of my life. I've had some bad habits for decades so am taking this learning process slow and easy. Changing habits and how to handle cravings won't happen overnight.

RodaRose

Two kg a week is too much. Consider changing your goals to 1/2 kg a week for now.
Instead of seeing this process as requiring an all or nothing approach, do the parts of it that you can. Do them most of the time (does not have to be all the time).

TavistockToad

Have you thought about speaking to someone for some support? Not for weight loss but to help build some self esteem.

LKArgh

Actually it sounds like your plan is going to get the exact opposite results than the ones you are hoping for, because you will not be able to keep up with it. So, stop torturing yourself. People who commit long term to fitness goals, do it because they find something they like. It seems like you too know what you like, so go for it. Exercise is not punishment, it should be fun. This is not a race, it does not matter how fast you lose weight or how fast you get in shape, the important thing is being able to see this as a new lifestyle. So, you need to find things you like to make this work.
Also, maybe talk to a therapist about all this unnecessary guilt and stress?

robertw486

beautifulsparkles wrote: »

Some people lose weight by doing things they love, making simple changes, eating foods they enjoy etc...

I am doing a lot better than I was a year ago, but I still feel like I have to torture myself. Like I don't deserve to do fun things, or be happy or like the way I look because I am overweight. I aim to walk 10,000 steps a day (which I don't necessarily enjoy), try to eat a minimal amount of calories (I keep adjusting them out of guilt), cheat on weigh day by skipping meals or going to the toliet multiple times, eating things I don't enjoy etc.

I wish I could lose 1-2kg a week by doing things I love. I feel like I have to do at least 90 minutes of exercise a day, and it HAS to burn a lot of calories. I would rather go for a swim, bodyboarding, play table tennis or dance or something than walk and go to the gym, but I feel like I won't get the results I want. I want to have lots of stamina, lift heavy and be toned all over but I feel like I have to suffer to do that. I want to be able to run 10k or more, but I don't want to put in the work because running makes me uncomfortable (which is apparently quite uncommon).

Have any of you got to your goal weight at a reasonable weight without suffering? I guess if I did exercise I enjoyed, I would do more of it anyway, so I would end up burning enough calories.

I feel like I still eat way too much so I have to do lots of exercise. Some people only walk for 10 minutes some days, and I feel like if I only did 10 minutes, I would feel like a failure, or like it wouldn't be worth doing it at all. I'm such an all or nothing person.

You can get much of your exercise doing the things you actually enjoy doing. If you want to swim or bodyboard, go do it. Both would burn calories fairly well. The same with dancing. It's going to burn more calories than sitting around doing nothing.

The trick is finding the balance of eating and doing what you enjoy, and will do for the rest of your life. If you make yourself miserable losing weight, chances are at some point you will just stop doing it.

QueenofHearts023

Losing weight is about loving yourself enough to take care of your body. Not about torturing yourself because you got overweight. I think you need to let that sink in.

Be kind to yourself. You're only human. And humans are not perfect. Not even nature is perfect and nature is beautiful. Forgive yourself and move on.

I second that you should lower your weight loss goal, it will be more sustainable in the long run.

Perhaps talk to someone about your self esteem issues.

jacklifts

aim for 0.5kg a week, that way you can eat a lot more, and it's not quite as much torture. it's still not fun to control portions, but if your goal is strong enough, you can muddle through it.

you don't have to run. do any of those things you enjoy for an hour a day, and that'll be plenty.

k80flec

Your weekly weight loss target is punishing and may be difficult to sustain in the long run. A slower, steadier loss is better for your body (allowing skin to keep pace and bounce back) and for your emotional health and it allows for the establishment of a lifestyle change which will carry you through the rest of your life.

As for dancing - I can't think of a better way to get my steps in and exercise my body - fab!

EvgeniZyntx

Learn to stage you discomfort and enjoy the stage achievements.

I agree on the all or nothing personality - going full on will make one focus not on abilities but limitations.
So if you want to get up to running to 10k it is about succeeding in stages and embracing the temporary discomfort.

Try a "couch25K" program - work through the 8 weeks, commit to that. And once you've gotten to 5. (Yay!) Move on to a "5K10K" program. Don't worry if you miss a week and need to repeat. It happens.

And run in pretty places - discover trails. Listen to music, if that helps. Make it a plus.