WLS: Is it a good option for me?

burnsmh

I am a 24 year old computer network engineer currently unemployed and I am 6'1" and weigh 525 pounds on the dot. I have tried every diet under the sun and the basic eat healthy and exercise but I lose weight then gain it back when I plateau after a few months.

What are your views on Weight Loss Surgery? My mother is overweight too and she wants to get the Gastric Sleeve, I think I am going to get the Gastric Bypass. My doctor says I could loose 250 pounds in the first year which would bring me to about 200-250 pounds a good weight for my height. (I have to loose 40 pounds before he will do the surgery)

I am very conflicted honestly I feel like I am giving up and taking the easy way out even though I know in my heart I have tried everything I can do but there is an itch that says you can do it on your own...I feel like my depression because of how I was beaten by my father growing up is the reason I am overweight and I have to deal with those issues but its very hard to get past them when I am left with clinical depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it. I also understand that people who have had it and the doctor who I saw explain it isn't the easy way out that it is a tool to help me lose weight and that if I don't learn to eat right and exercise that it won't benefit me as much.

My family doctor says I have to do something and this is a good option. My weight loss surgeon says this is a good option for me and that I will be opening a new chapter in my life. That I will feel better both mentally and physically.

I feel like this needs to be done for my health, that I have tried and failed at losing the weight and that this option could save my life in the long run. But I also feel as though making such a drastic change to my body and taking on a new lifestyle with the restrictions placed on my diet and whatnot will somehow make me weak or less of a man. I was raised on that whole macho, men are strong and don't cry and never quit and work hard...And I feel like I am somehow becoming less of a man by doing this like...I am not a man because I couldn't do this on my own and had to resort to surgery.

My girlfriend of 2 years thinks that if we have kids she wants me to be around for them and be able to play with them and go on camping trips and boy scouts and whatnot. So I have my future to think of.

As far as the way I am now. My last job was working for a power company doing their IT for their corporate offices. I had to crawl under desk, constantly moving around, walking in the hot Texas summer heat from building to building, lifting 50-100 pound pieces of equipment ect. I can walk up stairs and walk the street and even run but I do get winded but it doesn't hurt me as far as my legs/ankles go. I don't let my weight hold me back, but I do sweat a lot and run out of breath fast, which is unhealthy. I do have to push my truck seat all the way back and I can't fit in a regular truck to drive it the wheel pushes into my belly. I have to order my clothes online since the local big and tall got shut down. I would say however that 90% of the time my attitude is pretty positive I mean, honestly I have had a hard life and I grew up hard...So I think I'm a pretty awesome guy. My self-esteem is normally pretty good but I do hit depressions now and again and the latest one has been a long term depression since I got laid off.

My mother thinks one of the factors I am unemployed is that they don't want to hire a morbidly obese man to work for them as it could be that I have health issues and would miss or whatever. And that me being overweight makes me unattractive which could be off-putting to employers. I have a college degree and some experience but she thinks after I got laid off that my weight is a factor.

I always dreamed of joining the Army but any type of weight loss surgery disqualifies you for military service. But on that note so does being in a mental institution which I was when I was 12. So does suside attempts (Recorded ones) which I have while in the mental institution. And I'm pretty sure PTSD keeps me disqualified. My point is if the military who I admire thinks it is a lack of discipline and won't allow you to join...Is it a lack of discipline? Can I loose it all and keep it off and I'm just being a weak whinny pushover?

What is your opinion on my story here? Do you have any comments on anything I said?

friedmsw1

Just remember that the surgery is only a tool. It is not a solution in and of itself!

Alissakae

You sound like a strong and amazing person. With good support and focusing yourself, I think you could lose the weight through diet and exercise. However, it would take longer. If you do the surgery you can be successful at keeping it off. I believe you can overcome this either way. Your mom is probably right that your size could be making it harder for you to find a job. Unfortunately, there is definitely prejudice against overweight people in hiring as well as on the job. I have had to face that myself.

1994baileyboo

Hi there.
I really feel your story and I know how it feels to need to do something to get the weight off,
however as a kid my parents were nowhere near good. Countless beatings abusive arguments and them stealing everytging I had the only way out was to run away. But in saying that I was and still am obese.
I would eat for comfort and thats really done a mess on me however I believe in my heart that you can do it yourself without the surgery.
You have determination and thats all you need. in December 2012 I stepped on the scale and weighed 95 kg.
After a few ups and downs and alot of excersise im now at 79kg which ive found so exciting watching everyday in the mirror the change in my apearance and I think well hey I did this im freaking awesome so in all my advise probably makes no sense but I say if you needa loose the 40lbs to start with on your own why npt keep going at it and lose the amount you want to

SibylDiane

I agree with friedmsw1, WLS is just a tool. You still have to do a lot of hard work.
That said, you might want to try posting on the forums at obesityhelp dot com if you haven't already. I love MFP but a lot of the posters here are not supportive of WLS or don't know much about it. The people at obesityhelp are for the most part more supportive and more knowledgeable.
One more thing to consider (if you haven't) -- with your BMI you would probably be an excellent candidate for the Duodenal Switch, which has an even better record of weight loss and weight loss maintenance than either the bypass or the sleeve. DS is a big commitment for your life, even bigger than bypass. But it might be worth checking out.

gigglybeth

I will just say that if you have issues like depression and PTSD they aren't going to go away when you lose weight. They might even get worse because you don't have the food there to numb you out (huge assumption on my part, but I know it was true of me). In my case, I was diagnosed with celiac disease and I think because it was food related (and my diet was all bread and pasta) it made A LOT of my issues come up.

No matter what you decide, I would urge you to get help for your depression and PTSD. Best of luck!

trisH_7183

I can't answer questions about your problems causing weight gain.Think your Drs would be the ones to talk with. JMO

my husband was in the military & says people in combat eat C rations,maybe go without certain foods if need be.Having to take medication wouldn't work in a lot of military situations.Same with clothes as sizes are standard issue.

Just wanted to say ,surgery is never an easy way out,regardless of what type surgery it is.I do kind of wonder,if you can lose wt in order to have surgery,maybe see how that goes & how you feel about losing more,before deciding.Maybe therapy would give you someone to talk it over with? Whatever....good luck.

kazsjourney

When I was 380 pounds my doctor wanted me to have the surgery. I was against it for me...so we came to a agreement...I was going to give myself a good go losing weight my own weigh for 6 months...if I didnt make progress then I would start to look into the weight loss surgery. That was in 2006....since then I am down 184 pounds and I never looked into the surgery!

moondawg14

If you have to lose 40 pounds in order to get the surgery.... why not just keep going? At that point you're already ~20% towards your goal.

USMCnetty90

Hello!
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders! You admire the military discipline.. use that to fuel your desire to lose weight...Discipline and determination - you already have a positive attitude and a good self esteem. lose the 40 pounds, that will be your first goal - then if you decide to have the surgery maybe that will be the push you need to continue on with the healthy lifestyle and eating right.

A coworker of mine had WLS a year ago and is down 180lbs - she was always beautiful and carried herself very confidently even before the surgery - but now she just feels healthier - and much more happier with herself and she feels like she can better take care of your 4 year old girl.

Maybe you and your mom can start the journey together. You will have someone who knows exactly what you are going thru.

I will be interested to find out what you decide to do.

please feel free to add me - i promise not to become a stalker

ldrosophila

Personally as someone who has a serious issue with weight, I don't think you can ever get healthy unless you start to work on the psychological issues as to why you became so heavy. I work a lot on my food addiction. Some days I win the battle others I lose. WLS will only be a tool, and if your mental health is not there than it wont be a successful tool.

linsey0689

Okay you have a very long post which I read it all so I want to add my opinion on a few different things you said.

Firstly I think if you have the mind site to lose weight and you are ready to do the work then have the surgery. I was 285 pounds at my start which is pretty big but I didn't want to do it. Just because I am pretty young still only 20 and I thought I could do which I have been. The only reason I am saying this is because you are larger than I am and if you have try everything and it doesn't work then why not try it? Also I agree that if you plan on having kids than you do need to get your weight under control. Whatever you do I would say try something and don't give up you can do this!!

garber6th

Personally as someone who has a serious issue with weight, I don't think you can ever get healthy unless you start to work on the psychological issues as to why you became so heavy. I work a lot on my food addiction. Some days I win the battle others I lose. WLS will only be a tool, and if your mental health is not there than it wont be a successful tool.

I second this. I have quite a bit of weight to lose and I have lost some on my own, but I have elected to have WLS. I didn't make this decision until I had over a year of therapy to sort out my issues. Yes, I know it's possible to lose 200+ lbs on my own, but for many reasons this is the best decision for me. I agree whole-heartedly that WLS is a tool, not a miracle and I also agree completely that unless you get your mental health in a good place, almost nothing will work. They ask you to lose weight prior to surgery to gauge your level of commitment, and also the more you can lose before surgery, the better for your internal organs. Deciding on WLS is very personal, and everyone has an opinion on it. I did my research, and I made this decision with help from my physician, my family, and my friends. Good luck!

MyJourney1960

I think that WLS is a tool, as others have said. I think that before you even consider it, you need to deal with your emotional issues that are clearly bothering you. You have had serious trauma that affects your life, that ius something that needs to be dealt with. I think that if you go into surgery without solving the "why" you overeat, then things won't change. I've seen it happen to several people who had the WLS and went back to Being obese because the problems were still there

JaceyMarieS

I always dreamed of joining the Army but any type of weight loss surgery disqualifies you for military service. But on that note so does being in a mental institution which I was when I was 12. So does suside attempts (Recorded ones) which I have while in the mental institution. And I'm pretty sure PTSD keeps me disqualified. My point is if the military who I admire thinks it is a lack of discipline and won't allow you to join...Is it a lack of discipline? Can I loose it all and keep it off and I'm just being a weak whinny pushover?

What is your opinion on my story here? Do you have any comments on anything I said?

WLS is a decision for you and your doctor(s).

I do want to touch on the above though. It's not that the military thinks it's a lack of discipline.

Here's the list of medical disqualifications
http://www.endusmilitarism.org/ar40-501.html

Those with celiac sprue are also DQ'd (Intestinal malabsorption syndromes, including postsurgical and idiopathic) Military service does not exactly cater to individual preferences and needs - you eat when you can, where you can and what they give you. Diabetics and those with chronic digestive tract disorders (ulcers, ulerative colitis, etc.) are also PDQ'd.

Brandyle1975

I had gastric bypass on Jan 4, 2013. I started at 377lbs (highest weight ever) and am down about 110lbs total as of today. WLS is a tool and you need to be in a good place mentally to handle the challenges it will bring to your life. It is NOT the easy way out like some people think. It requires a complete lifestyle change and commitment. I took about 2 years to really think about having the surgery, talked to lots of people about their experiences (good and bad) and joined Obesity Help for more info. I still have a long way to go and being a picky eater doesn't help me a bit, but I am tying my best every day. I have never posted in a forum before because I felt like I would be looked "down on" for losing weight this way.

If you feel this is the right decision for you, then go for it! Add me if you want to

binglebandit

You're going to have to face your emotional issues no matter what. If you don't get a hold on your eating triggers, you'll still have them even with the surgery. In fact, it can be quite dangerous given that your body will be healing. There have been cases of people's surgeries getting messed up because they kept acting the same as before the surgery and pushing the limits of their digestive tract. It's a tool, but you're going to be going through the same struggle either way. It sounds to me that you are assuming the WLS is going to be like a magical wand that will fix everything. That's not true. Even if you do drop a ton of weight in a year, there's always the risk of gaining it back right away, which I've known to happen to people. I personally believe that WLS should be used as a last resort. It's always dangerous to undergo surgery, and better to avoid it if you can. Only you can really tell if that describes you or not.

Either way, try not to worry so much about labels or statuses. This is your life and your health, do what is healthiest for you, physically, emotionally, mentally. Start with the challenge your doctor gave you of losing 40lbs first, and just put the rest on the back burner for now. The big picture can look overwhelming, but it's amazing what you can accomplish just one day at a time.

jojo86xdd

If you have to lose 40 pounds in order to get the surgery.... why not just keep going? At that point you're already ~20% towards your goal.

^this.
I've met people that have lost the first 50 lbs in order to have the surgery and decided to keep going. Fast forward to a couple of years and they were down 200 lbs. They didn't start doing anything drastic, just cutting back on junk and incorporating lots of healthy foods. As they dropped the weight they then incorporated exercise. You mention you are still very active despite your size, so you have an advantage.
Also, as many have said, this surgery is simply a tool to push you in the right direction. After a certain point you still have to change your eating habits, and you still have to exercise to keep losing and to maintain.
I guess the deciding factor here is whether you have the will to get started on your own and keep it up or have doctors perform a surgery that will give you no choice but to not overeat and you take it from there.

I personally think you will definitely benefit more from counseling and tackling this issue on your own.

CoderGal

Computer nerd here.

My views on weight loss surgery is it is a lesser evil for some, if the alternative is gaining weight on a stressed unstable system. Really with your numbers you are right, you might be saving your life if you're not capable of doing a deficit yourself. At the same time, I don't like the complications it comes with. You're really altering your body. Also, this is a emotional problem as well, and the surgery is not going to help with that. All your problems are not going to go away. You're also going to be confronted with a new set of problems. This can help, but you can help, too.

Also, a lot of weight loss sites have people cutting calories by large significant amounts. Particularly if you're larger. Some doctors will even prescribe it in severe cases (some prescribe it willy nilly it seems) when it's needed for health that they lose weight. I know several friends who have went through that, one of them had a God awful terrible malnourished hungry time. The other one didn't take their recommendation, continuously (but slightly at first) decreased his food intake, and he runs marathons now. I've seen obese men eating less then 1200 calories a day when I eat over 2100. And while it's important for someone your size to drop weight...if the large deficits are making you give up and gain weight (which is understandable if you ask me), well, that approach isn't helping you. And no wonder it doesn't help, it's half torture. Have you tried looking into what your TDEE is? How large is your deficit? A group of teenier deficits may be significantly more manageable. Or at least a number you try to stay below with a number you can jump to if you feel starved without feeling like you're losing a battle. MFP can be used in many ways. Going by MFP defaults or someone elses recommendations are not the only choices.

Since you mentioned that you're able to walk I would HIGHLY recommend looking into a strength training program. Particularly since you'd be a monster and likely have a ton of muscle mass believe it or not at your weight (and I mean that in a awesome way, not a bad way). Because over time impact sports may not be your friend in the long run at your current weight. It's also something easy to stop if you get out of breath and easy to keep going if you change your mind. There are all kinds of programs you could do that I'm sure many would be willing to help you with. I managed to get a free set of free weights on kijiji, so price usually isn't a terrible problem (since you mentioned your unemployed). Just keep your eyes and ears open. Then there's body weight options if you can't find weights (harder to find routines in my experience if you're a noob and would appreciate someone else to make up a routine, but they're out there).

I think you're a pretty awesome guy too. If I was closer I'd lend more of a hand. While we're waiting keep logging, try to be accurate, use a scale, and if you're feeling like starvin' marvin' on the calorie goal you have set, talk to someone who knows more about how much someone your size would burn. Don't eat out of boredom, find a new hobbie if that is one of yours. Don't get discouraged...because a lot of people get discouraged here because things are not constantly going in their favor. If you graph progress, it should look like a hacksaw, not a hill. Even for someone who is doing good. All it takes is to eat less then what you burn, and for someone who is obese, that is a lot more then the average person. I find a lot of people in the obese category get ashamed when they find out how much food they can eat and try to punish themselves by eating much less because thats what people around them are doing, or a lot of people around them are ignorant on how a larger system works and assume they should be eating like rabbits too. Reality is you could be eating more then them, and still losing more then them weekly.

No matter what your choice I wish you all the best. Try to enjoy yourself and laugh your *kitten* off, hopefully literally.

ldrosophila

Personally as someone who has a serious issue with weight, I don't think you can ever get healthy unless you start to work on the psychological issues as to why you became so heavy. I work a lot on my food addiction. Some days I win the battle others I lose. WLS will only be a tool, and if your mental health is not there than it wont be a successful tool.

I second this. I have quite a bit of weight to lose and I have lost some on my own, but I have elected to have WLS. I didn't make this decision until I had over a year of therapy to sort out my issues. Yes, I know it's possible to lose 200+ lbs on my own, but for many reasons this is the best decision for me. I agree whole-heartedly that WLS is a tool, not a miracle and I also agree completely that unless you get your mental health in a good place, almost nothing will work. They ask you to lose weight prior to surgery to gauge your level of commitment, and also the more you can lose before surgery, the better for your internal organs. Deciding on WLS is very personal, and everyone has an opinion on it. I did my research, and I made this decision with help from my physician, my family, and my friends. Good luck!

I agree it's a personal choice neither wrong nor right. Anyone who gets 100lbs or more overweight, to my thoughts, has a huge issue with food, body, and emotions. Statistically WLS surgery results in at least a 10% long term loss for more people where just the old fashioned approach has something like a 95% failure rate. Which ever approach you choose it will be hard work mentally and physically.

Scubanana7

You DO sound like an awesome guy. And pretty dang smart too. You do know what your challenges are and I believe you are strong enough to handle them. Therapy, as suggested, is probably a really good idea. While being unemployed is rough, it gives you an advantage like the folks on Biggest Loser. Make it your job to lose weight. If you can see a nutritionist, that would be best. Don't just try a 'diet'. You need a PLAN not a diet. It is also awesome that you are so mobile at your weight. That is a great PLUS. That means you can MOVE and moving is exactly what you need. Make it your job to find out what and how much you need to eat, and then make it your job to get as much movement as you can every day. You don't need to walk a marathon.....just baby steps. Walk today, add 30 seconds more tomorrow. Move as much as you can every day. Put all your job energy into your plan and exericse while you are not employed. While being laid off does tend to depress Everyone, turn it around. Turn it into a blessing of free time to devote to your health.

After you drop the 40 pounds, then you can make a better decision on the surgery. If you have it, you are NOT weak. You are very very Brave to me! Nothing about taking control of your weight and your life is wimpy. You ROCK, young man. No matter what you decide about the surgery, you are one tough fellow. Love yourself a little. You got a lot of us to pay attention and everyone had supportive comments and seemed very sincere in their best wishes to you. That is because of you---you came across sincere, intelligent, loving and caring. You are a pretty awesome guy. Best of Luck! and please keep us posted,.

Shaky44

A few months ago I was 380 lbs at just over 6'1". Since then I've lost 40 lbs. Now I feel like I can do this without WLS (which I had investigated, although not as thoroughly as you have). I really think that if you commit to losing the 40 lbs, you'll know the best decision for yourself at that point.

My advice: don't commit to the surgery yet. Just commit to the 40 lbs.

Retiredmom72

Weight loss is something that you have to do for yourself. If you are going to lose 40 pounds, then you might want to try to continue on the healthy lifestyle.

You sound like a very smart person who tries and then gives up. Have you asked yourself why you give up? WLS is a tool. I know people who have had the surgery and then continued to eat and the surgery was not a success for them. If you can walk, then walk. Moving is always good.

If you feel that your weight is keeping you from getting employment, then continue to apply for jobs that you really want. You sound like you would be an asset to any company.

Good luck.

HollisGrant

I would take the doctor's advice and go for the weight loss surgery, because you are over 500 pounds, have tried to lose it before many times, and keep gaining it back. Once your weight is down into a more normal range, you could create a whole new healthier life. There is no shame in going through the surgery if you need it. Lots of times we think we should be able to do something on our own, but sometimes we can't and need help from outside. Best wishes to you whatever your decision turns out to be.

Editing this to say I went back to read the other comments. I agree with the people who say commit to losing the 40 pounds and then see how you feel about the surgery. If you can lose the 40 lbs on your own, try to keep going with it.

burnsmh

Thanks everyone for your comments. I am going to lose the 40 and see how I feel about it...Maybe lose the 40 and give myself a month or two to keep it up and see how I feel after that. But as of right now I am feeling more and more that this might be the right option for me, the surgery I mean.

I do agree I need to seek therapy for it and I am going to start looking into that.

I started counting calories with this site and using my phone to track my exercise.

I have 3620ish calories a day, on average I end up with 1500-1650 left over at the end of the day.
I walk between 1 1/2 miles and .90 miles a day depending if I walk to my Aunt's house and back or just to the end of my street and back home.

Today is going to be really hard to be honest with you...I'm going to deposit some cash I got and pick my brother up a sub way sandwich...And today I was informed that I didn't get the 2 jobs I was interviewed for and really wanted...And I really want a Sonic bacon cheese burger and gatoraid slush...But I know that is just 'stress' eating. And I keep telling myself I woke up late but will go to bed at the same time so I didn't get breakfast and it's already lunch so I will be fine if I get my burger but I know I don't need it...I am trying my best to push it in the back of my head and get over the depression and anger of it all...And knowing it is stress eating should make it easier to stop thinking about the burger...But it isn't...It isn't making it any easier to not think about buying that burger.

Scubanana7

Sorry about the jobs. But they WILL come. Especially with the weight loss, because people DO discriminate. Go for a delicious healthy Subway sandwich instead of the burger! Tho I am sure the burger fits into your calories. Have lunch and walk off the frustration, knowing the job hunting WILL get better with better health. Good Luck and Keep your Head UP!!! You can friend me if you like. I am a Nana and a Mama to daughters your age so the Mama just comes out in me when I read your posts~

burnsmh

Sorry about the jobs. But they WILL come. Especially with the weight loss, because people DO discriminate. Go for a delicious healthy Subway sandwich instead of the burger! Tho I am sure the burger fits into your calories. Have lunch and walk off the frustration, knowing the job hunting WILL get better with better health. Good Luck and Keep your Head UP!!! You can friend me if you like. I am a Nana and a Mama to daughters your age so the Mama just comes out in me when I read your posts~

I splurged alittle I got a footlong steak sammich a cup of soup and an arizona watermellon drink...

I am still well under my calories, full and content...Gonna watch a movie I started while I was eating then go walking.