To advise or NOT To advise

1987formula

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

jemhh

1987formula wrote: »

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

When somebody asks you for advice, give it. Until then, zip your lips

LHWhite903

jemhh wrote: »

When somebody asks you for advice, give it. Until then, zip your lips

Agreed!

StaciMarie1974

Only if asked. And even then, be careful not to give too much advice unless you think the person really really wants to hear it.

CaffeinatedConfectionist

jemhh wrote: »

1987formula wrote: »

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

When somebody asks you for advice, give it. Until then, zip your lips

Haha, yup. I often have to bite my tongue on the temptation to offer unsolicited advice on eating and exercise habits, but as it has been said, "unsolicited advice is criticism in disguise." It's not going to help anyone unless they ask for it - and quite often, even when people ask for advice, they don't really want it and aren't ready to take it. So what would make me think that people that haven't even ASKED are going to take my advice?

glassyo

jemhh wrote: »

1987formula wrote: »

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

When somebody asks you for advice, give it. Until then, zip your lips

LOL exactly.

carmkizzle

jemhh wrote: »

1987formula wrote: »

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

When somebody asks you for advice, give it. Until then, zip your lips

Exactly.

ElizabethOakes2

Depends. When I'm out to lunch with a client who is pouring ranch dressing over her Cobb Salad with extra cheese and bacon and telling me how she's 'only eating salad to lose weight', I keep my mouth shut. She didn't ask, she didn't mention my portion of salmon with brown rice and steamed veg, so we just smile and say, "Wow, that salad looks delicious."

When my family gets together, however... well, it goes like this. My bro, who is my biggest inspiration and who continually awes me, is down 60 pounds and looks fabulous, is always "I can't eat that egg. It's got FAT in it! I can't eat that cheese. It's got FAT in it!" and my bro-in-law, who is currently on the most unhealthy version of a vegetarian diet I've ever seen, has to leap in with whatever dietary woo he's been reading about on Mother Jones. The rest of us, one of whom is super healthy and eats everything in moderation (except fish, because fish eat fish poo. Don't ask me. I dunno), and me with trying to recover from my back injury and a couple years of bad comfort eating, and two more who are on super-strict special dietary requirements because they killed their bodies eating crap for decades, all have to leap in with what we're eating and why.
In that case, doesn't matter what your weight is, you gotta leap in and argue your point of view or you aren't really family.

AnvilHead

1987formula wrote: »

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

My .02 - when you've learned enough to separate woo from fact and have a firm grasp on distinguishing between the things that are necessary, the things that are optional/personal preference, and the things which will do absolutely nothing beneficial. Giving bad advice is worse than giving no advice at all.

(not saying you do or don't, because I don't know - just offering it as a general statement.)

ManiacalLaugh

If someone's asking, give it. If someone's doing something you know to be dangerous (VLC diets, bad supplements), give it.

If you're unsure in any other circumstance, I don't believe there's anything wrong with phrasing it as "I" advice. "I've made X progress. What worked for me is..."

Of course, if you've lost weight or gained muscle noticeably, your advice will be taken with more weight (har har). But if you phrase it around your personal experience, that gives the recipient the opportunity to see it as an attempt to help, not an attempt to impose.

tarabole

I think if you are asked a question and you have a valuable experience or something that has helped you, you should feel comfortable sharing that. I often get asked for advise because I worked in the fitness industry for a number of years but I really try not to be prescriptive and just talk about options or tips that have worked for myself or others.

callsitlikeiseeit

I'll assume you mean in person?

I don't tell people any more than 'eat less and move more' because they really don't want to hear they have to work for it .....

If someone were to be TRULY interested, I would give more details. My close friends know what I do. because well, theyre my best friends and i tell them everything lol

melonaulait

I've been in this situation a couple of times, and I always recommend CICO.

Cherimoose

1987formula wrote: »

At what weight loss, should I give away my opinions or give recommendations to others?

I fell like I have no room to talk until I am no longer "overweight" (bmi)

If you've reached a healthy weight and have maintained it for a year, i'd say you're qualified to give advice.
Bonus points for reading a college textbook on nutrition.

Asher_Ethan

Even though I'm considered "normal" on bmi, I will not give advice unless someone asks me for it. Friends will complain to me about their weight loss woes and when they ask me what they can do and I say, "count calories," the conversation usually ends there. I don't push it because I understand they need to actually want it for it to work

williams969

Asher_Ethan wrote: »

Even though I'm considered "normal" on bmi, I will not give advice unless someone asks me for it. Friends will complain to me about their weight loss woes and when they ask me what they can do and I say, "count calories," the conversation usually ends there. I don't push it because I understand they need to actually want it for it to work

I pretty much respond the same way, and only when directly ask. "I count calories, using MFP and Fitbit to help me find a reasonable eating goal." Responses are typically reasons/excuses why they are special snowflakes or the "that's too hard/tedious/old-fashioned" yadas.

kgeyser

If we are talking in real life, I only give advice if asked, and if I'm able to invest some time into actually helping them. I find most people either need clarification on how things work, or they know how they work, they just feel overwhelmed with the process as it relates to them and their life. I prefer being able to talk to someone to just giving a soundbite, oversimplified answer, because if it didn't seem daunting to them, then they would already be on their way.

blues4miles

Pretty much never?

I don't want to argue with the uneducated who don't understand CICO.

One of my good friends is struggling with the last couple pounds. She is a PT and knows her stuff, knows it is all about calories, inspired me to weigh everything, eats super healthy, tracks everything, works out like crazy. There's nothing I can tell her she doesn't already know, me saying something like "maybe you're eating more than you think" is insulting to someone who DOES have their stuff together. Or "it's probably water retention, be patient" isn't easy to hear. She just wants to vent, so I let her vent, and we both talk about what we're doing.

FitGirl0123

I try not to offer up too much advise unless it is asked of me!