Weight loss and Major Stresses

louann_jude

I am a binge eater. I always have been. I can remember eating so much when I was little my belly would hurt. When life was especially hard I would turn to food for comfort and lots of it. In the last coupe years I got to where I would wake up in middle of the night to binge so my fiancee wouldn't see. It was something I was ashamed of and hid.


I was tired of being fat and set January 3rd as my start date. A few days before I voiced my concerns to my fiancee what if I fail. I started like I promised and my first week with no binges and no slip ups. I lost a little over seven pounds that week. That put a fire in me. I could do this.

Then nine days in I got some life changing news. My three year old was diagnosed with Autism. It wasn't a shock, I knew. I had known since he was 15 months old. Despite knowing I took it hard. I cried for hours after he went to bed. I wanted to eat, but I didn't.

Two days later I turned that binge desire into a cleaning spree. I cleaned from 9 am to 3:30 pm. I cleaned carpets, washed walls and moved furniture. I did a lot and I didn't binge. I got past it and in a few days I started dealing with my emotions.

On January 20th I got a call from my Mom that my favorite Aunt was on life support. She had COPD for a few years and they thought she had pneumonia. Later they found out she had gotten RSV from her grandson. Eleven days later on January 31st my aunt passed away. She was 53.

Since that day I have had to fight the urge to binge. But I am getting through it. Little steps at a time. I had to fight it yesterday. I have learned though that every time I fight it I Win. I don't have to deal with the guilt and self loathing after. Through these little victories I am gaining confidence. I have also managed to lose 23 pounds since I started.

What I have learned in the last month is I can't control what happens around me, but I can control me. I have control over what goes in my mouth and how I move. I still have 100 pounds to lose but with the tools I have access through and support I get from here for the first time I believe I will.

PKM0515

You are doing great! It takes a LOT of self-discipline to "stay strong" with all you're dealing with.

Good luck on your journey to better health.

tristramtrent

Good on you for staying with your goal, and I'm sorry for all the sad news you have had to deal with. I can tell you have turned a corner on wishing to take care of yourself and found a new "you" that puts your health first. Cheering you on! You can do this.

mgjean

Hang in there, louann, I share your situation. In the last 5 months I have dealt with my husband of 38 years leaving (he informed me via text message), the death of my father, and now divorce proceedings, selling my home, etc., as I discovered runaway husband was a Craigslist cheater.

Some days it's all you can do to get up in the morning, let alone not dive headfirst into a box of doughnuts or bottle of wine. But we know better and those behaviors harm only ourselves and don't help the situations beyond a few minutes.

However, as you said, the only thing we can control some days is what we put in our mouths. We can do this. We will be better and stronger. I've managed to keep going - 70# down! - and I know you will find it within yourself to keep going too. Do it for you!!