Downsizing and living off one income intentionally. Have you done it? How did it work for you?

whouwannab

I feel like I am missing out on so much with my kids. I also just feel like this is a rat race, just to maintain our current lifestyle. Have you moved into a smaller home? Reduced your living expenses by eliminating non-necessities? Positives? Negatives? Please advise.

usmcmp

I'm a single parent and I don't get child support or government assistance. I drive a car that I paid off, I have almost no debt. I have a very old phone with basic functions. We don't have cable at home. We rarely eat out and only when we have coupons or free meals. We keep lights off, we keep everything unplugged until it is needed, we only buy absolute necessities. I learned how to cook big and cheap meals. I ask for gift cards for holidays. I did buy a house that's only as big as we need and it actually saved me compared to the rent we were paying. I don't ever go to the salon and the boys get their hair cut at great clips with a coupon.

Dave Ramsey has tons of articles about budgeting and living off a tight income.

rugbyphreak

Well, my situation is a little different than yours. We have no kids, but we're in extreme saving mode on a limited income, so we're still tight on cash. We have put off doing a lot of things, vacations, new cars, bigger house, etc. We coupon, wait for sales, and don't buy things that we don't need. Luxury items are a no no. It's hard, but we know that it will be worth it in the end. You have to decide for yourself. What's more important to your kids, making memories or having the nicest shoes and the newest toys? How much will you have to cut out to be able to be a stay at home parent? Is it more feasible to go part time instead of quit entirely? What are your children going to gain by someone being home with them? What are they going to lose from having less money?

mamaomefo

If you feel as though you are missing out on so much with your kids, then you probably are. I chose, many years ago to be a stay at home Mom. I have NEVER regretted it. Those kids are young for such a very short 18-20 years. When they are grown and gone like mine are now, you will be a much happier Mom if you know in your heart that you chose what felt right for you. I spend a lot of time now with my grandkids and they are always asking can we go to Mama and Papa O's house. They do this because we give them time, not just "stuff". Some people like stuff, some people like time with those they care for. It is really your choice.

LindsayB072

My situation is different since I don't have kids. I went from engaged and living with someone who made a really good salary to living on my own and relying on just my income. I don't eat out or go out really ever, I do all of my groceries in spurts (so like twice a week rather than one huge bulk shopping trip once a month) so that nothing goes to waste. I have 2 cars, but one is paid off in full so my car payment is affordable. I don't really go shopping or "treat myself."
My mom was a stay at home mom through me being in high school. We went without fancy vacations and designer clothes but the quality time I got with my mom and my mom never missing a soccer game was more worth it to us.
Do whatever is best for your family.
Worse come to worst, if it doesn't work, you can always get a job again.

steph2strong

Hi. I gave birth to our first child Dec. 30th, 2015. Prior to this I was working in a very demanding profession and although I made a very good income and spent 13 years in university to get to where I was I was miserable. The few female colleagues I did have only took 2-4 weeks of mat leave with their children and have had nannies ever since. One of them even has 3 nannies (a day nanny and 2 night nannies). This is not at all what I or my husband wanted for our family. So we made the decision early on that once I gave birth I would not be returning to work and we would be living solely off my husbands income. We also hope to have 2 more children and will be trying for the next soon. Fortunately there isn't too much about our lifestyle we will have to change, we aren't big spenders at all. We took stock of extra expenses and really our weekly food budget and amount spent on supplements (protein powder, bars, vitamins) is mainly what money is spent on. We don't spend money on clothes or frivolous items. There are things that we have always done to not waste money such as we never buy coffee or food at work always bring our own (a daily starbucks can add up to 100$ a month, and buying lunch or snacks can be even more), we make sure we do as much as possible in the house during "off-peak" hydro hours (we live in an area where hydro is double the price during certain hours), getting rid of all unnecessary bank fee's, insurance fee's etc. (I actually got rid of 150$ per month of expenses this way... who knew I was giving all my money to the bank for no reason... well my husband did, but I'm very ignorant to all these hidden charges etc.) and pay off your credit cards every month don't let there be a balance for interest. After seeing how much I spend on groceries I really pay attention to prices at the store now, I used to just grab what ever I wanted. Once I started doing that I cut our weekly grocery bill by 100$. I buy more canned beans and things like that, stopped buying fancy new marinades and sauces every week (really I was spending like 20 dollars a week on that stuff and then accumulating like 20 in our fridge), buying produce that was on sale that week or less expensive ( I wanted asparagus last week and went to grab it and then noticed it was 10$, this week it was only 3$, go figure), looking for sale items etc. There are certain things we won't change though like buying organic, local, hormone free meats (they are totally worth the price), and buying our sports supplements and stuff. The best thing is to just go through your expenses and see where you are spending money and how to cut things down. We printed out all our credit card statements and account statements for a year and went through them all.

JeromeBarry1

The hardest thing you'll have to deal with is the abrupt loss of affordability in dining out. If your partner is earning in the 60th percentile for your area you can afford to live on one income.

CherieQ72

We are a one income family with 3 kids. My husband is a stay at home Dad, it made much more sense for him to be the at home parent because I make more money and have good benefits etc. We have 2 vehicles but one is paid for. We carry no debt, we can't afford to. We don't have takeaway very often, we don't spend thousands on vacations, we go camping instead. We look on kijiji before buying in a store whenever possible. Like everyone else has said, it's about choices.
Probably one of the best pieces of advice I can give you is a year down the road, when things are financially difficult....again....that it will pass. This time of hardship is temporary. Remember your choice and why you made it. You are giving your children the gift of your time until they are grown. Then crack open that box of KD and dig in lol
OH and do your bday, christmas etc shopping early! the earlier the better!

Toronto6fan

we chose to go one income when my kids were little. We live in a smaller house so less housing and heating costs and have to watch expenses like eating out and vacations but for us its been worth it. We camp instead of big trips etc.

Muzak1

I have been blessed to be able to make it all work on one salary. 3 tuitions right now. The price of that is to work until later in life and forgo some vacations and other material things although we do live in a great home.

sanfromny

My husband was making a little more than double my salary when the company I worked for shut down unexpectedly. Although I wish I had notice so i could've saved more before losing my job we were okay. I was home in the afternoon when the school bus came which was very cool. I was able to cook at home a lot more, thus forfeiting the eating out bill. Wasn't spending gas on commuting. It worked out. I always used coupons before so it was no big change as well as shopping at Goodwill on occasion. I just became more cognizant when I shopped for needs vs wants.
I recently went back to work but it was on my terms. I don't work weekends, I don't work nights, My commute is 10 miles each way and I get off at 5:30 everyday. I took a pretty decent pay cut but I get a lot in return that the higher paying job didn't give me. losing that job really put what's important in perspective.

synchkat

It made no sense for me to go back to work after the birth of our son since my salary would basically pay for childcare. So we survive on one income. We are not the norm as hubs makes a very good salary and we are able to afford vacations and whatnot but if you can afford to stay home with the kids do it. If you are home making meals and such you can easily cut costs but making more home cooked stuff and you don't need work clothes the mom uniform of t shirt and jeans is super easy.

OneHundredToLose

I am beginning to work on something like this, myself. I realized recently that I can keep living check to check forever and probably be just fine, or I can start putting the work in now to build my nest egg and ensure that I am secure in the future. I'm planning on downsizing significantly and setting aside at least 1/3rd of my income as savings toward a house, which I will then use as a rental property, and after a couple more years of saving I'll repeat the process until I have a revenue stream that can support me without working.

Ibeachlover

When I was working, and had a wife and daughter, I took the approach that one of us (me) would put in the time to make the "dime" , so that both of us didn't have to live to work. This allowed my wife to finish her degrees, and get a comfortable job (she still wanted to work) that was only 36 hours / week with very good vacation / holiday time off...no weekends. This allowed her to spend more time with our daughter. This worked well for us. After I retired, my non-investment income (the only one as we divorced and I remarried someone whom didn't work), is half of what I once earned. However, it is still substantial enough to give us a comfortable life in Florida. I've found you don't need all the trappings you thought you needed. Visiting family in other states, or them visiting us is our vacations; we eat well, but don't waste money on eating out a lot or on expensive food items, and we drive a car we purchased new, but no longer a Mercedes. Bottom line for me was my realization that I could have retired to this life sooner and didn't need the salary I once made, and could have saved more money along the way if we had realized what was important and what really wasn't.

Bubba1922

I am now retired and have been forced to downsize my expenses. I wish I had done it years ago.

Face cream - I now buy low cost cream/ ointment - The skin is like a piece of leather and any kind of cream works - three years on and my skin is as good as when I was using a top brand. Wasted money on top brands for years.

Face and body Scrub - best scrub ever is granulated sugar - amazing soft skin - wet body and rub until skin is warm and then shower. That shop stuff can cost loads and does not work as well.

Clothes, household stuff. I always ask myself - do I need it? have I got one already? Why buy another pair of jeans when you have got six pairs in the wardrobe.

Food - I make loads of fresh soups in my pressure cooker - soup and omette to follow are favourite in our household,nourishing additives free and cheap.

I love spending less without feeling my lifestyle has been compromised. People matters not stuff.

Kali2024

Bubba1922 wrote: »

I am now retired and have been forced to downsize my expenses. I wish I had done it years ago.

Face cream - I now buy low cost cream/ ointment - The skin is like a piece of leather and any kind of cream works - three years on and my skin is as good as when I was using a top brand. Wasted money on top brands for years.

Face and body Scrub - best scrub ever is granulated sugar - amazing soft skin - wet body and rub until skin is warm and then shower. That shop stuff can cost loads and does not work as well.

Clothes, household stuff. I always ask myself - do I need it? have I got one already? Why buy another pair of jeans when you have got six pairs in the wardrobe.

Food - I make loads of fresh soups in my pressure cooker - soup and omette to follow are favourite in our household,nourishing additives free and cheap.

I love spending less without feeling my lifestyle has been compromised. People matters not stuff.

I love love love coconut oil for just about everything, make up remover, moisturizer, deodorant, cooking, healing skin wounds, sunburn, so many uses AND ITS CHEAP

Unknown

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whouwannab

I really appreciate everyone's feedback, especially those who have retired and how they have adjusted their lifestyles. I think maybe one of the first things I need to do is start cutting non-essentials and just seeing how much money we can save this year. I have all ways loved the challenge of finding things on clearance or finding cheaper alternatives. Maybe going to part time makes more sense than completely cutting our income in half by not working at all. Good stuff.

daveclrk5858

Wow! Great thread and nobody is trying to hook up, haha.

I just recently left my job to start my own business venture. Luckily my wife makes good money so if the original posters husband makes good money then it may be less of a stretch. Time with the kids is precious and I applaud you for doing it!

RunningBuryBlue

It's a very interesting question with no right or wrong answer. All depends on your values and also the needs of the family

For me, part of being a father is being a role model for betterment and my job helps in this. My wife works part time and, for us, this is a good balance

emdeesea

My story is different because I have no kids by choice but my SO and I do live very cheaply. We both have pretty moderate incomes but we have still downsized but cutting absolutely everything we can. Every year, I go over the budget and find ways to reduce our spending, calling companies to arrange a lower payment on things like phone, internet, etc. We live in a small house, ride the bus, walk when we can. Groceries from the cheaper store, etc. We only go out once a week. Our biggest expense are our overseas trips but those are because that's what we want to do - that's our splurge.

niamibunni

Both cars are paid off, no revolving credit card balance, we just have the mortgage and monthly bills that are paid. We're also able to put $$$ towards retirement and I am a stay at home mom.

We might eat out once every two weeks. Otherwise, meals are cooked at home and are healthy. We don't eat a lot of processed foods. I use things that are as minimally processed as possible, if at all. It saves so much money.

I'd like a smaller house with more land and privacy. Gardening and freezing/canning are my plans for this summer. It's also something that we can do as a family. Right now, the house is much larger than I'd like (who wants to clean rooms they don't need?!?!) and the neighbors are too close. We have 1 acre of land, but part of it isn't usable and I'd rather be able to use all of the property if I'm paying for it!

Movies are a rare treat, since my son has Autism, we only go to the special sensory friendly showings. I don't have family/friends, so having someone watch my son while we go do stuff isn't something that is going to happen. Special babysitters for Autistic kids with multiple allergies are just too expensive. So, instead we do stuff that can include him and often is free or cheap. New Hampshire has lots of places to hike and they are free!

Being home with my younger son (he's 6) is great. I missed out on so much with my oldest (he's 23) and I was working 60+ hours a week.

socajam

My vote is to work part time, you never know what will happen down the road. At least this way, you have an income to fall back.

Put all your part time money in the bank. Treat your part time money as invisible money and put it straight in the bank not to be touched. Learn to live on one salary and buy a house not a mansion. Kids do not need to have their own rooms (until they are older - this is a first world problem), no tvs, phone etc in their room, that is being excessive.
If you have a mortgage starting paying an extra $50.00 or $100.00 per month, you will be amazed at how quickly your mortgage gets reduced - make sure to let the bank know that the money should be going towards the principal - that is important.
Any extra money you have put in on that mortgage, thats the monkey on your back and your goal should be to get rid of it as soon as possible. Most people do not realize that they may buy a house for say $250,000.00, but forget to add in the interest over the number of years, which can work out to over %150,000.00 as bank charges.

I paid off my mortgage over 2 years now; I can tell you the immense freedom that I have achieved from that burden. I started paying an extra $50.00, then when I could afford it paid $100.00 and was shocked at how quickly the loan was decreased. Forget about the mortgage tax relief, it is not worth carrying on a mortgage just to get a couple of dollars back from the IRS, which is your money anyway.

Cook everything from scratch, it is so much more rewarding and healthier. At least this way you know exactly how much sugar/salt etc is going into your foods.

My cell phone bill is $32.00 per month, I do not need an iPhone to make calls. I have a cheap Moto phone costing $149.99 and it does everything that an iPhone does. I get unlimited data and enough to make my calls for the phone. Use What Apps, its free and saves a lot of money. I call my friends all over the world on What Apps savings both long distance and overseas calls.

jpaulie

I'm just in the middle of a downsize. Sold my house last night for 'X' and getting something for '1/2X'. Like the idea so far. Will have to see once reality sets in. Cutting back on a lot of things.

whouwannab

This is all great stuff. I would like to get rid of cable. It is $110.00 a month. I am going to check into the Moto phone. That sounds like the way to go.

whouwannab

My husband and I make the same annual salary, so if I didn't work at all it would cut our income in half. That may be a bit drastic. A part time work from home job would be ideal!

socajam

Not sure what you do, but is there any way you can job share with someone (another mother at your work). One week you work 3 days and the other week you work 2 - that way both of you work the same number of hours.

As yous said, do you really need cable? $110.00 is a lot of money a month. How about Netflix or HULU. Get basic on your home phone, most cell phones carry long distance, so you do not need that on your home phone.

My cell phone carrier is Virgin, can use it everywhere.

You are going to have to be creative with saving money.

NYactor1

Check out the Mr. Money Mustache blog ...he has done incredible things ...also check out his blog roll which has many similar stories...including Dividend Mantra, a guy in his 30's who decided to step away from the rat race. He provides a very detailed blog including all his spending.

zdyb23456

After my second baby was born my husband left on deployment and decided I was in over my head with a newborn and a 2 year old. I "quit" my job, but my employer offered me part-time work whenever I was ready to return. I stayed home for 6 months.

After my third was born 19 months later I stayed home for 9 months and went back part time again. I've been part-time ever since. My "baby" is three now.

Part-time is perfect for me. It pays for my kid's tuition at a private school, I get to keep my career skills current, we paid off our house in less than 9 years, and we have a bit of wiggle room to enjoy some nice things.

It's all about setting priorities and focusing on them. Don't compare yourself to anyone else or you'll always be unhappy.

indiakristin

I am a stay at home mom. we have the minimum services necessary to keep a comfortable home. Sometimes it is really tight. However I love the time i get with my baby and its it totally worth it.

zoeysasha37

Here's what I did-
I couldn't stay home 100%, so when my son was little I only worked during school hours. I was there to put him on the bus and there to pick him up. I never missed a school party back then because I made sure I had a job where I could leave for 30 Mins to attend every class function.
I cleaned houses and made it work. It was a way to still be there for my son but yet still bring in money. ( housekeepers make more then most think )
Now my situation is different so I have to work longer hours but while my son was small, I made it work.
I got rid of the expensive Verizon cell phones and went with boost mobile ( 30$ per month unlimited data and texts and calls ) so what I didn't have the latest iPhone but the phones still worked just as well.
I also used coupons and sales for everything that I could . cook cheap and cook in bulk ( lots of rice and beans )