Couples with different goals! One gaining, one losing.

evivahealth

Hey everyone,

I'm really keen to get some advice on how to manage different goals in the same household. I'm losing weight and my partner is looking to put weight on. Anyone else in this situation? What are some simple ways to add calories for him and decrease them so me at meal times?

FYI - My goal is 1314kCal a day and his is 2700kCal.

Just interested to see how people manage!

xx E

CoffeeNCardio

My husband and me are in the same place. It's quite simple. He eats literally the lion's share of anything I make, takes a huge huge lunch to work, and I eat much smaller portions of the same stuff. A lot of it is calorically dense, but that doesn't really matter if you eat less of it.

I'm going for 1420, he needs 2801.

try2again

CoffeeNCardio wrote: »

My husband and me are in the same place. It's quite simple. He eats literally the lion's share of anything I make, takes a huge huge lunch to work, and I eat much smaller portions of the same stuff. A lot of it is calorically dense, but that doesn't really matter if you eat less of it.

I'm going for 1420, he needs 2801.

Exactly- even our numbers are close! I typically cook a healthy-ish entree for dinner, he eats most, and we can each supplement it how we want. I also have to watch him eat ginormous bowls of ice cream.

try2again

I should say, sadly my husband isn't even trying to gain- that's just his maintenance level. *eye roll*

lorrpb

My husband is not trying to gain, he's actually trying to lose too, and had list about 40 lbs in the past year. But he has no problem eating lots more than me! LOL!

Your partner can add more fats & carbs, like olive oil or butter, bread, pasta, eat calorie dense goods like nuts, peanut butter, ice cream, booze, basically more of anything he likes.

The main thing that makes me nuts is the constant snacking when I'm trying not to, but I cant tell him not to eat!!

try2again

lorrpb wrote: »

The main thing that makes me nuts is the constant snacking when I'm trying not to, but I cant tell him not to eat!!

My husband will come home from work & eat for 2 hours straight! And curiously, that's the time I find myself thinking about food!

peleroja

It's primarily just portions in our house. Husband gets 12 oz of chicken, salad, and a baked potato; I get the same salad without the extra dressing and cheese and croutons he adds and a weighed piece of the meat to fit my goals. Or whatever - even if I don't have time to cook and make him a frozen pizza, I have two slices and he gets the rest, and we throw some raw vegetables on a plate to share. He gets plenty of butter on his steamed veg, I don't; he gets bread, pasta, or rice with everything, I don't; he gets seconds or a late-night snack, I don't.

I'm not losing anymore (have been maintaining for a couple years) but that will be reality in our house for the rest of our lives because he's a six-foot active guy who lifts and is often trying to put on mass, and I'm eight inches shorter, much lighter, and primarily a runner, so while I also exercise regularly our energy needs are just not the same and never will be. I cannot eat like him unless I want to weigh what he weighs.

rybo

Eat the same, just one can eat more or add calorie dense foods on top.

evivahealth

That all seems very sensible and about what I had thought we should do. A bit rusty with the whole living with another human being thing and it didn't go too well for my waistline last time!

evivahealth

And thank you all for contributing!

KateTii

I don't live with my boyfriend but I think that makes it harder! I'm on a cut and regardless if he is cutting or bulking he can easily have 700+ more calories a day than me (tall, active job, muscle mass).

Since we don't live together and visits are weekly rather than daily, we usually have takeaway together or go out for dinner. I just have to have smaller portions and be confident in the fact i'll make it up on the other days.

But it's not too hard - i'll have a ham and salad sub, he will have a schnitzel with mayo and avocado sub. When there are the pig out days, I just accept it and move on!

choppie70

My husband is trying to gain while I am trying to lose. Our saving grace is that he works nights. We eat dinner together - he will eat a much bigger portion than I do and I will have more salad than he does. He then packs a huge lunch box full of foods that he will eat at work. When he gets home in the morning, we have breakfast together and again, he just eats a bigger portion of what I make.

His job is very active - he can get 30K steps on his Fitbit during his 9 hour shift, plus he is 6ft.. He needs to eat well over 3.5K calories to just maintain his weight. I am just 5'3" and trying for 1300 calories a day with a lightly active job!

sault_girl

My husband and I are in the same position as you. We eat the same food, just he gets double the amount I get.

alisfitgoal

We only really eat breakfast together, which is tough because I do love cooking for both of us. He eats 4000 plus per day, and I eat 1300 ish. I eat lunch at work, and eat dinner when I get home at 6pm before a workout. He eats before he comes home at 5pm, and again after working out at 8 or 9 pm. We try to do other things together other than eat, and I try to not eat all of his delicious carbs! Haha.

TheBeachgod

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSU3bzaD_vA

evivahealth

^^^ Gold!

Thanks everyone for the suggestions - I guess it comes down to the same thing as everything else then... will power!