Need a lot of help and lots of friends.

RyanneS20

I would be lying if I said that I was new to myfitnesspal. I have been here a few times before but some thing always comes up and I end up not getting on for whatever reason. I know with that being said that most people will probably either not finish reading this or else they wont want to even try and help.

Right now I am asking for friends on this site as well as an suggestions from anybody as to my concerns. I know that some people will just think that I am making excuses and that is not anything that I am trying to do in any way. I think the best way for anybody to help (if they want to) is going to be by me telling my story.

I understand that everybody has their reasons for why they have gotten to where they are in life. I have been over weight for as long as I can remember. When I was younger I got passed back in fourth between 3 different family members houses. My mother had passes away just before I turned a year old. After that my father was working 2 jobs so it was easier for me to stay at my grandmothers or one of my aunts houses. I only stayed with my father one night a week. Then my father meet some other lady who had 2 boys of her own. They finally moved in with my father, so then I was at the house with her and her boys. I always felt like she never liked me so that was hard for me growing up in a house with somebody who didn't like you. Because of that all I wanted to do was eat. Fast forward a few years, because nothing really changed.

About 10 years ago my father ended up needed open heart surgery. 2 days after that he ended up having a stroke. Needless to say my father ended up being paralyzed on one side and was unable to take care of himself. Even though he had been with his girlfriend for several year (never married) when he needed her the most she went and found somebody else and left my father. I , being an only child, had to step up and be the only one to take care of my father. That has been the hardest thing I have had to deal with, or so I thought. I was trying to work full time and take care of my father full time, it was hard but I continued to manage to do it. The place that we were living had just got a new manager. That manager had ended up being a person who had ended up not liking my father for various reason. She did what ever she could so that he got evicted from his apartment. Being that he was unable to take care of himself and I was unable to afford a place that was handicapped accessible, or any place of my own for that matter. The only place that he could go was that hospital. That put so much stress on me knowing that I was unable to do what I was suppose to in order to be able to help my father. That also meant that since my father got evicted I had no place to live. I hate asking anybody for help but that is what I had to do. My one aunt had agreed to let me stay at her house but the problem with that is that she had never really ever had anybody stay with her for long period of time, so after a few days things really started getting tense. All we did was argue over some of the stupidest things. When I would leave to go see my father or go to work I would have to go and get something to eat even thought I had just eaten within an hour. When I get stressed all I want to do it eat. Finally after fighting with her for almost 2 months I talked to another aunt about staying with her until I could figure something else out. Well needless to say it has been over a year and I am still living with her and her family. When I first moved in with her she was living in an apartment because they had had a house fire. So when I first moved in I was sharing a room with my 14 year old cousin, not something that I liked the idea of and neither did my cousin. Things seemed fine at first and then they turned bad. Neither one of us had ever had to share a room with anybody before and let alone somebody who was twice or half their age. She was going through some things where she didn't want to be home so then I blamed myself because I was there. Finally we, just recently, moved into a house instead of an apartment, so we now how our own rooms. Still going through a lot of different things, things have been better between my cousin and I.

After explaining all of that. I will explain what I really need help with. I need help ways to lose weight. I just currently lost my job so I don't have the money to be able to afford a gym membership. Its very cold outside during this time of year where I live. I know that I need to lose the weight but I am unsure of how I can do that with out being able to go to the gym or at least get outside. Also there are a lot of times where my aunt will make some of the non healthiest things to eat. I don't have the money to buy health food for myself so I don't know what to do.

So my questions are what could I do inside some place that doesn't cost money to help me lose weight? What do I do when my aunt makes unhealthy food? What do I do when I get late night cravings?

Any and all help is appreciated. I would love to have friends to help me through this journey of mine. No matter how hard this journey is I promise myself and my friends that I make on here that I am not going to quit again. I need to do this for myself. I have added some current pictures and they will show you that I am over weight and need some help. I would love to be able to post pictures in a couple of months of my started weight loss journey with all of the help of all of you. Thank you all in advance for those of you who try and help me in some way.