do you/did you feel a sense of loss the closer you get/got to your goal weight?

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areallycoolstory
areallycoolstory Posts: 1,680 Member
edited February 2016 in Goal: Maintaining Weight
the question in the discussion title is directed in particularly to those who had a significant amount to lose or have struggled with their weight for a very long time. do you feel a little lost as you let go of being overweight and approach your goal? i have been getting rid of old clothing and trying to remember how i used to eat. i am so pleased to have lost so much weight this last year. i've lost 101 lbs as of this week. but there is part of me that is feeling a sense of loss at letting go of some aspects of the past. has anyone else had similar feelings?
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  • jeepinshawn
    jeepinshawn Posts: 642 Member
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    Many people find maintaining is more difficult then the actual losing was. I know I worry about eating to much because there isn't a cushion anymore, either you eat enough to maintain or you over eat and gain, or you under eat and it messes up your training. Im also a little envious that I see "friends" in my newsfeed that are still losing weight, enough that I keep reevaluating whether or not I should loose additional weight.

    I also sometimes miss not caring about what I ate, I'd go on a road trip and stop and get snacks and things, no worries. Now I go into a gas station or something for a road trip, look at the snacks and decide that it really isn't worth the calories anymore, even if they would taste good for the few minutes I was eating them .
  • lauraebenavides
    lauraebenavides Posts: 14 Member
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    I don't. I feel so good and I am happy all the time :) . I feel more confident and I feel so accomplished. I actually worry a bit about gaining weight back.
  • BurnWithBarn2015
    BurnWithBarn2015 Posts: 1,026 Member
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    jeepinshawn wrote: »
    Many people find maintaining is more difficult then the actual losing was. I know I worry about eating to much because there isn't a cushion anymore, either you eat enough to maintain or you over eat and gain, or you under eat and it messes up your training. Im also a little envious that I see "friends" in my newsfeed that are still losing weight, enough that I keep reevaluating whether or not I should loose additional weight.

    I also sometimes miss not caring about what I ate, I'd go on a road trip and stop and get snacks and things, no worries. Now I go into a gas station or something for a road trip, look at the snacks and decide that it really isn't worth the calories anymore, even if they would taste good for the few minutes I was eating them .

    Congratulations first of all :)

    And yes have the same and what @jeepinshawn says too, very recognizable.

    At this moment hovering around the 143 lbs and wondering that i maybe want to go to the 139 lbs. Or maybe it will come slowly over this year.

    But it seems to me that also for the people around you it gets "normal" that you lost so much weight. Attention fade away. And i also notice ( i teach Body-Robics) that there is a general opinion of "yeah you done it easily" Look at her hopping around. For me it is different and hard"
    So kinda like you got it out of nowhere and done nothing for it.
    The more time passes the more i notice this kind of behavior of people around me ( not my hubby he is awesome about it and praises me everyday and cheers me on).

    The gas station thing i recognize lol. While shopping this happened a couple of times now.
    And i was in my favorite clothes store nosing around without realizing they only sell plus size clothes...so gone.

    Even "friends" ( mentioned in another thread) change or get lost.....For me it is pretty much a whole new life. And i dont really regret things, or miss it. But just catch myself sometimes in old habits that i dont need anymore..like the shopping at a plus size department.

    I try to fill it up and move my interest to other things, like the new swimming season here. Soon to start. I try to get familiar with lifting which i still hope to be able to do. Rewarded myself the last month with buying a whole new wardrobe etc etc. So like i builded and molded my "new" body, now i build and mold my "new" life.

    95069916.png
  • benevempress
    benevempress Posts: 136 Member
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    I'm having a hard time because I didn't exercise with weights during my loss, so I'm still flabby, only smaller, so I'm not super excited to look in the mirror and I didn't achieve the clothing size I hoped I'd reach. Once the weight loss stops and I don't have that YES! feeling regularly watching the scale number get smaller, I wonder what will keep me feeling like logging every mouthful (which I know for me will be required if not forever, then for a VERY long time to keep me accountable to myself for my emotional eating) and eating a restricted calorie plan is worth it.

    Perhaps none of this what what you meant by "sense of loss". I'm having difficult emotions and haven't figured out how to cope with them out yet, but I don't feel a loss that I've gone from big and flabby to smaller and flabby. :)
  • BurnWithBarn2015
    BurnWithBarn2015 Posts: 1,026 Member
    edited February 2016
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    lauraebenavides wrote: »
    I don't. I feel so good and I am happy all the time :) . I feel more confident and I feel so accomplished. I actually worry a bit about gaining weight back.

    oh dont get me wrong i am very happy lol and enjoy the h**ll out of it. But yes there are things different.
    But not a second that i regret anything or want to turn back time

    Even with some excess skin. :)
  • areallycoolstory
    areallycoolstory Posts: 1,680 Member
    edited February 2016
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    jeepinshawn wrote: »
    I also sometimes miss not caring about what I ate, I'd go on a road trip and stop and get snacks and things, no worries. Now I go into a gas station or something for a road trip, look at the snacks and decide that it really isn't worth the calories anymore, even if they would taste good for the few minutes I was eating them .

    i can relate to this. it's not that i deny myself really. but i miss the spontaneity a bit. having to plan so carefully. the other day i was in a gas station, and i felt really good that i can easily grab a banana and water instead of the junk i used to buy.
    lauraebenavides wrote: »
    I don't. I feel so good and I am happy all the time :) . I feel more confident and I feel so accomplished.

    i feel like this most of the time. but there is still a lot to get used to. it is a transition. a significant one.

    thanks for all of your responses :)
  • Panda_brat
    Panda_brat Posts: 291 Member
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    Now that I am pretty much at my goal weight,I have decided to start bulking a bit to get rid of some of the lose skin. I have decided I constantly need to have a fitness/ health goal to work towards.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    What's been odd for me is that, since I started losing weight, I changed jobs, started school, and moved to a different city, so most of the people I'm in contact with now, never knew me from before I started losing weight. I know it's odd, but I feel like, because of that, there's this whole part of me that they can't really understand, they just assume I've always looked like I do now.
  • samgamgee
    samgamgee Posts: 398 Member
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    areallycoolstory wrote: »
    jeepinshawn wrote: »
    I also sometimes miss not caring about what I ate, I'd go on a road trip and stop and get snacks and things, no worries. Now I go into a gas station or something for a road trip, look at the snacks and decide that it really isn't worth the calories anymore, even if they would taste good for the few minutes I was eating them .

    i can relate to this. it's not that i deny myself really. but i miss the spontaneity a bit. having to plan so carefully. the other day i was in a gas station, and i felt really good that i can easily grab a banana and water instead of the junk i used to buy.

    This! I've not had as much to lose but yesterday I was in a chocolate shop and said to my OH "I miss being able to eat whatever I want and just not care" - then I reminded myself that the last time I did that, I piled on a stone in a month! There is still that element of longing for a simpler time...
  • Mycophilia
    Mycophilia Posts: 1,225 Member
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    I hit my goal of losing 41kg last week. And I feel great, I finally get to do some bulking!
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,452 Member
    edited February 2016
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    areallycoolstory wrote: »
    the question in the discussion title is directed in particularly to those who had a significant amount to lose or have struggled with their weight for a very long time. do you feel a little lost as you let go of being overweight and approach your goal? i have been getting rid of old clothing and trying to remember how i used to eat. i am so pleased to have lost so much weight this last year. i've lost 101 lbs as of this week. but there is part of me that is feeling a sense of loss at letting go of some aspects of the past. has anyone else had similar feelings?

    First, congratulations on our success!!!! :D

    Yes yes yes. I share these feelings so much right now. I DID make sure to have fitness and health goals preset for life after the weight loss phase, so my body goals are in check, but mentally, I am a bit lost. I've permanently ridded myself of approximately 60 lbs in the past several months, and it's only recently that I find that my brain has finally (90% of the time) caught up and accepted my new physical appearance. More often than not now, I look at pre-weight loss pictures, and I don't recognize the girl in those photos. It's just not me anymore.
    Also, there are parts of the old me that I seem to unintentionally/subconsciously try reconnect with, but it doesn't work out because again, it's just not me. For example, I used enjoy scarfing down tons of food in one sitting, and I originally planned to have a mini-feast when I reached my goal weight, but I found that I actually did *not* want to sit and stuff my face after all. I felt like I was trying to force myself into a ritual/habit that no longer suited nor pleased me. I keep thinking that I want things, particularly common junk foods, and I buy them, but 9.9 times out of 10, I end up giving them away. It's so weird, yet pleasantly bewildering, and it's left me with a lot to think about. There are a lot more mental transitions outside of food that I'm working on as I stabilize, and feeling lost is definitely common.
  • smelbo
    smelbo Posts: 36 Member
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    Congrats on everyone's weight loss, only people who have been through it know how tough it can be. When I quit smoking ( over 28 yrs ago) I thought that was gonna be the toughest thing for me to conquer, but weight loss is different...you have to eat, you can just totally quit eating, and eating is socially acceptable. When you are about to enter the next phase of weight loss...maintaining, it is natural to feel a loss of some sort, you have been comfortable with Loosing weight, and successful. You might be afraid to enter the next phase in case you aren't successful. Look at how much you have accomplished, and recognize that you aren't perfect, you might suffer some hiccups along the way, but you are in a much better place than where you were before. Also, there is always room for improvement, maybe focus on what else you want to change about yourself, and refocus your energy there.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    I think I'll be very excited NOT to see the scale creeping up, as I have for 30 years. Keeping that number below the top end of my target rAnge will be my motivation. I do not miss the pain and discomfort I felt when morbidly obese. I don't think I'll miss seeing the scale creep up every few months and feeling helpless what to do about it. I might miss some goods or eating habits, but I decided I would make a lifetime change. There are always trade offs in life. I have a few more pounds to go until I arrive at maintenance, but already What I've found is far greater than what I miss.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    I didn't, but I also set a variety of goals along the way. Even when I reached my weight loss goal I had other things to work towards. There's never been an "end" to me, just another check mark on a growing list of goals.
  • areallycoolstory
    areallycoolstory Posts: 1,680 Member
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    samgamgee wrote: »
    I've not had as much to lose but yesterday I was in a chocolate shop and said to my OH "I miss being able to eat whatever I want and just not care" - then I reminded myself that the last time I did that, I piled on a stone in a month! There is still that element of longing for a simpler time...

    right:-) not that i would trade the weight loss. and i am certainly committed to doing the work to keep it off. but there is a lot of this in what i am experiencing at the moment.
    neldabg wrote: »

    Yes yes yes. I share these feelings so much right now. I DID make sure to have fitness and health goals preset for life after the weight loss phase, so my body goals are in check, but mentally, I am a bit lost. I've permanently ridded myself of approximately 60 lbs in the past several months, and it's only recently that I find that my brain has finally (90% of the time) caught up and accepted my new physical appearance. More often than not now, I look at pre-weight loss pictures, and I don't recognize the girl in those photos. It's just not me anymore.
    Also, there are parts of the old me that I seem to unintentionally/subconsciously try reconnect with, but it doesn't work out because again, it's just not me. For example, I used enjoy scarfing down tons of food in one sitting, and I originally planned to have a mini-feast when I reached my goal weight, but I found that I actually did *not* want to sit and stuff my face after all. I felt like I was trying to force myself into a ritual/habit that no longer suited nor pleased me. I keep thinking that I want things, particularly common junk foods, and I buy them, but 9.9 times out of 10, I end up giving them away. It's so weird, yet pleasantly bewildering, and it's left me with a lot to think about. There are a lot more mental transitions outside of food that I'm working on as I stabilize, and feeling lost is definitely common.

    this mirrors what is going on with me so closely. thanks for sharing. and thanks everyone else for sharing as well. it really helps as i embark on this leg of the journey to hear that some folks have had similar feelings:-)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    edited February 2016
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    I miss eating what I want without caring at all about the calories. Will probably ALWAYS miss that. But that's pretty much it.
  • mommarnurse
    mommarnurse Posts: 515 Member
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    jeepinshawn wrote: »
    Many people find maintaining is more difficult then the actual losing was. I know I worry about eating to much because there isn't a cushion anymore, either you eat enough to maintain or you over eat and gain, or you under eat and it messes up your training. Im also a little envious that I see "friends" in my newsfeed that are still losing weight, enough that I keep reevaluating whether or not I should loose additional weight.

    I also sometimes miss not caring about what I ate, I'd go on a road trip and stop and get snacks and things, no worries. Now I go into a gas station or something for a road trip, look at the snacks and decide that it really isn't worth the calories anymore, even if they would taste good for the few minutes I was eating them .

    Yes! I must look like a goofball going to places, looking intently at various food items, then putting them back. :/ I do this a lot! That's what I tell myself, that those few minutes of empty pleasure are definitely not worth it.
  • mommarnurse
    mommarnurse Posts: 515 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    I miss eating what I want without caring at all about the calories. Will probably ALWAYS miss that. But that's pretty much it.

    Yep. But I DONT miss that feeling of shame and worthlessness after downing a large #4 or whatever. (And bloat etc)
  • areallycoolstory
    areallycoolstory Posts: 1,680 Member
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    mommarnurse wrote: »

    Yes! I must look like a goofball going to places, looking intently at various food items, then putting them back. :/ I do this a lot! That's what I tell myself, that those few minutes of empty pleasure are definitely not worth it.

    lol :) i can totally relate. last week, on my way to grab a banana and water, i stopped by and "visited" the big daddy sub sandwich i used to get at the convenience store. i didn't look at it longingly really... i wasn't stalking it :) it was more like--wow...i can't believe we used to date...

  • ilovesweeties
    ilovesweeties Posts: 84 Member
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    +1 to everything above, I really miss not caring about the calories in things and some of the spontaneity that goes with that. I am happy to be where I am, but I lost the sense of kinship with other larger ladies, even those I never met. I was a person with high self esteem whatever I weighed and I sometimes see myself as having betrayed my fat self by needing to change her. I don't really feel like I belong in a fitness/slim 'community' yet, but I lost my curvy community!

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