Don't "Start Over"

lorrpb

Lots of people post that they are starting over, beginning again, or getting back on wagon. Here's something to think about: DON'T!!

I dont mean not to lose weight, I mean don't think about it as starting over. I think that creates too much drama and can create a mindset that you're a failure, so you need to start over. Whet about viewing it as a continuing journey of health, fitness, and life? Every journey has bumps, detours, wrong turns, and side trips. When that happens, do you scrap the trip, go home, and start over? Of course not, you just make adjustments, reroute the trip, and keep going.

Maybe you could incorporate that perspective into weight loss...and life. Make some changes and adjustments that are needed, but don't emotionally stack the situation into success/failure, starting/ending, or similar. You can do it!

sympha01

Good points. Also feeds into something I believe, which is a lot of people end up "failing" because they look at the whole process as either being completely balls-deep or totally off the wagon. A lot of people would do much better if their weight loss program were in a much lower gear. More sustainable, and better training for maintenance after success anyway.

sunnybeaches105

sympha01 wrote: »

Good points. Also feeds into something I believe, which is a lot of people end up "failing" because they look at the whole process as either being completely balls-deep or totally off the wagon. A lot of people would do much better if their weight loss program were in a much lower gear. More sustainable, and better training for maintenance after success anyway.

Agree with this and the OP. And love the "balls deep" reference. Get mad and throw sh** but don't start over. It's better to just keep banging your head against the wall until you finally break through and come to the next wall. Life is all about challenges.

Alatariel75

Agreed! Succeeding in this game is simply a matter of making more good choices than bad.

JesmineDNCS

Agree! Its not a process where u start n end......it goes on even when u reach your goals (maintenance), and goals may change too.
Every time I've done the start-stop thing, I've ended up 'stopping'. If I look at it as a journey, it becomes more sustainable and instead of stopping, its just a hurdle or a road block I need to overcome or adjust to.

2snakeswoman

I agree. I think starting over is a good excuse for slipping. "I'll start over on Monday." Nope. Life is a continuum.

try2again

Love this! I've been thinking about how my mindset has been different this time with my weight loss than in the past- it's no longer about a time table, and I no longer view it as a short term project with an end date. I started on MFP about a year ago and have lost 40 lbs, and it could well take me 2 or 3 times that to lose the last 40 because I'm not always perfectly focused. But I really view it like a long term commitment now- there will be good times & bad times, but I'm not going anywhere!

wi_maint_man

Great post, I don't start over I just keep trying, I know when I'm failing, I have a voice in my head that tells me so, it has been there since High School. I'm currently working at losing 20 lbs, the thought of gaining more weight triggers depression, I don't want that !

tnm7760

This was part of what "clicked" for me this time. I was always striving for perfection. I'd "fall off the wagon" and decide to start over. Sometimes it was months or weeks later, other times it was "I'll start over on Monday." But it did two things...

1. I found myself overeating all sorts of things only because I was "starting over." I'd eat loads of stuff that I wouldn't normally eat just to get it in before I had to be perfect again. So I usually gained 2-3lbs just before "starting over."

2. It created an "all or nothing" mindset. I finally realized that I needed a deficit over time (I always knew it, it just didn't click). So even eating at maintenance for 6 days and a deficit 1 day would eventually create a loss, even if it was small. So throwing caution to the wind until I started over was worse than a "bad" day once or twice a week.

So now, I'm never stopping. Even if I have a few days of not counting calories or eating far beyond my goal, I'm not going to consider it "falling off" or "failing."

lorrpb

Tmn that's great insight!

kommodevaran

This is a great thread! I'm working on my black/white, all-or-nothing mentality all the time. But I am finally able to maintain my loss because I don't think I'm "on the wagon", and that I should be afraid of "falling off the wagon".

WendyLaubach

I've been noticing the "all or nothing" mindset more and more lately. It's the same impulse that sends a recovering alcoholic on a bender as soon as he acknowledges that he blew it by taking a single drink. The single drink wouldn't have hurt him to speak of, but the mad instinct to make it as awful as possible--because now he's a bad person who "strayed"--sure does. As frustrating as it is to realize we've made foolish choices that mean we now have all that much work ahead of us to fix whatever damage we caused, there's never any good reason to continue in self-destructive behavior.

And once we've been through this cycle a few times, we should realize that we can never go back to thoughtless, instinctive appetite. We're always going to have to be in charge of stopping when we've eaten as much as we need, just as we stop drinking water when we're no longer thirsty and stop gasping for air when we're no longer out of breath. We won't always have to be as rigorous as when we're trying to lose 50-100 lbs. in a reasonable length of time (less than, say, 25 years!), but we'll still have to be conscious and responsible. It's neither all nor nothing, but it's certainly forever.

upoffthemat

All those "failures" are just learning experiences now. They are a person I don't want to be again and they have helped me be better now. They are part of the process.