problem eating too much to "show off" how much i can eat
Nicolery9
Posts: 37 Member
i don't like to tell people that i exercise so usually people think that i am naturally slim
the problem with this is that when i go out with people to eat, i tend to eat a lot to "show off" how much i can eat, and usually get people who say "that's impressive", or "she has a fast metabolism". at restaurants, the waitress will say "i'm impressed" or "you did good" and look surprised when i eat everything that was on my plate and the pre-meal bread/snacks. so all my colleagues think that i eat a lot, have a high metabolism, "eats everything", etc.
i think part of it is psychological and part of it is to hide that i dont eat that much on other days. so its like since they only see me eating those huge meals, they think that maybe i do that a lot. its mostly psychological, im trying to tell myself that it's not worth it. but i'd hate going out to eat and them finding out that i am on some kind of diet, so i just eat the whole portion which is more than what i normally eat. i don't like to save food for later if i go to a restaurant.
the other day at a work lunch, i probably ate 1600 calories for lunch because i didnt pay attention to what i was eating and just ate everything, then it takes me 4 days to work this off. i tend do this like 1-2 a week, otherwise i'd probably be losing like another 3 pounds/month and it's really setting me back in my weight loss. but sometimes i can't help it.
how do i stop myself from doing this?
the problem with this is that when i go out with people to eat, i tend to eat a lot to "show off" how much i can eat, and usually get people who say "that's impressive", or "she has a fast metabolism". at restaurants, the waitress will say "i'm impressed" or "you did good" and look surprised when i eat everything that was on my plate and the pre-meal bread/snacks. so all my colleagues think that i eat a lot, have a high metabolism, "eats everything", etc.
i think part of it is psychological and part of it is to hide that i dont eat that much on other days. so its like since they only see me eating those huge meals, they think that maybe i do that a lot. its mostly psychological, im trying to tell myself that it's not worth it. but i'd hate going out to eat and them finding out that i am on some kind of diet, so i just eat the whole portion which is more than what i normally eat. i don't like to save food for later if i go to a restaurant.
the other day at a work lunch, i probably ate 1600 calories for lunch because i didnt pay attention to what i was eating and just ate everything, then it takes me 4 days to work this off. i tend do this like 1-2 a week, otherwise i'd probably be losing like another 3 pounds/month and it's really setting me back in my weight loss. but sometimes i can't help it.
how do i stop myself from doing this?
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Replies
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Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.0
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
This. Your history suggests you have a serious issue with food. Seek professional help.0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to0 -
I agree that you need to seek some help. You have displayed some extremely concerning habits. You know what else isn't cheap? Trying to regain your health after running it into the ground with unhealthy behaviours.0
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
I can understand that, but there has to be sites that are more appropriate to address your concerns. Have you looked at OA? What about the national eating disorders site linked here? I'm just saying that we are not trained to give you the appropriate advice. You need help beyond what anyone here should be willing to do. We know nothing about the specifics of your medical history, so any suggestions people make are going to be general and not necessarily applicable to you.
I would like to see you get the help you need.0 -
I'm not sure which country you are in, but there is a list of international contacts here:
https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
I don't know of your posting history, but I can understand talking to a doctor being too expensive. I do not have much medical training and I do not claim to be a medical professional.
What is the issue here? I do the same thing on accident. When I know I'm going out to eat with friends, I bank calories everyday that week so I can eat more on the weekend. I get the comments as well, but I explain what I had to during the week to be able to eat that much.
Do you like the bragging? Why not be honest?0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
I can understand that, but there has to be sites that are more appropriate to address your concerns. Have you looked at OA? What about the national eating disorders site linked here? I'm just saying that we are not trained to give you the appropriate advice. You need help beyond what anyone here should be willing to do. We know nothing about the specifics of your medical history, so any suggestions people make are going to be general and not necessarily applicable to you.
I would like to see you get the help you need.
+1. Seek help . . . please!0 -
Definitely get professional help.0
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Oh, so that's how people can use food as a prop if they aren't in magic or illusion sequences.
It's time to treat food a bit more like fuel. There are... countless more deserving ways of getting attention.0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
This. Your history suggests you have a serious issue with food. Seek professional help.
So this!0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
Talking to people online does not help with behavioural disorders. You are not going to find a replacement to therapy in online forums. You need to stop worrying about what people might think and start worrying about finding a solution.0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
Talking to people online does not help with behavioural disorders. You are not going to find a replacement to therapy in online forums. You need to stop worrying about what people might think and start worrying about finding a solution.
Couldn't have put it any better. I think quite often what people are looking for online is others who legitimise the behaviour and make it 'okay', or just finding others who provide random reassurance, which ultimately never challenges the behaviour and so nothing changes.
For people who really have no spare money whatsoever, it most be hard to access therapy, and I can't speak for the situation in the US. But in the UK there are many mental health charities who provide affordable counselling, which is based on income levels and sometimes even free (often with final year placement students etc).
Often it's a case of priorities and how people want to spend their money. I have encountered people who say they have no money for counselling but at the same time very obviously have money for acrylic nails and hair extentions. Sometimes it's about the choices we make.0 -
This sounds pretty disturbing0
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
Talking to people online does not help with behavioural disorders. You are not going to find a replacement to therapy in online forums. You need to stop worrying about what people might think and start worrying about finding a solution.
This. Get professional help. I've read your previous threads. You really need help and a forum cannot replace individualised professional help. Find the money, find a service which is fee reduced or free, go to your employee assistance program or college counselling service. Just do something! Eventually you won't be able to hide what's happening from people in your life, then what?0 -
Many universities offer free counseling to the community from graduate students. There's also online counseling that is affordable. I highly suggest you get started in something.0
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
Your posting history indicates that you are well beyond the point of being able to talk things out on the interwebz. People have posted links to low-cost counseling services in your state. Check out local colleges, too; colleges with graduate programs in Psychology often have a low-cost counseling center.0 -
Eyes on your own plate. You don't need to please others with what you eat. But I agree that this is a problem deeply rooted in your emotions, and you should look into some professional help.0
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allaboutthefood wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
This. Your history suggests you have a serious issue with food. Seek professional help.
So this!
Very much this.... +2
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I agree with others that you need to seek help for your disordered eating habits.
I also wanted to comment that it is posts like this that illustrate why people get so frustrated/discouraged thinking that it is unfair that a colleague or friend is "naturally skinny" and doesn't have to work at weight loss and can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. When posts like that come up on here we always remind the OP that they don't know what the person they are envious of is going through or what their eating/exercise habits are behind closed doors, they are jealous of a glimpse of a persons total diet. This is the perfect example of why people should not be concerned what others can and can't do and focus on their own efforts, and OP that goes for you too...
Please get help.0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Your posting history has been concerning. I know it's been recommended by people here multiple times that you should seek some help through professional means (physician, counsellor, registered dietician). I really believe this is where you need to start (professional help). They can help you with establishing healthy goals, appropriate expectations, and manageable methods of dealing with the issues. I wish you all the best.
I don't really want anyone in my life to know that I have a "binge" disorder.
And it's too expensive to pay for a physician or dietician
Sometimes talking it out with someone helps so I try to find some people online that I can talk to
The problem is, you don't really know who you are talking to and what may seem to be a listening ear could turn into a sick troll who purposely hurts more than helps. On the flip side, it could be a very nice person trying to help you, but without being able to see your face and your reactions to certain questions would have no clue if you are even telling the truth to yourself. There's also genuinely meant help that turns out to hurt because the majority of people aren't trained professionals in mental health (much less with an emphasis on disordered eating).
Please get real help.0 -
You've previously posted that your work offers unlimited free food, so it's HIGHLY likely that you also have access to an Employee Assistance Program that offers free counseling and referrals, even if you don't have health insurance (which, again, it seems likely that you do, in light of the unusual meal benefits offered by your workplace). If you have health insurance, the copay for a doctors' visit now will be a much better investment than waiting for years and trying to address the health problems caused by your food-related issues later.
All of your posts are wall-to-wall red flags for disordered eating and exercise behavior. You will not find a solution through online forums- you've received dozens of solid suggestions for things that would help if this were simply a matter of ignorance of better techniques. It's not. Clearly, deeper issues are driving this behavior for you.
There is hope, but you have to be willing to seek help from professionals.
Once again, your behavior as listed here and in your prior posts is well outside the norms for healthy eating and exercise, and it *will not* get you any closer to your stated health and aesthetic goals. You need to talk to a counselor, and doctor, and/or a dietician and begin working on the deeper issues that are driving your extreme behaviors.0 -
Exactly, people find money for what they really want to do.For people who really have no spare money whatsoever, it most be hard to access therapy, and I can't speak for the situation in the US. But in the UK there are many mental health charities who provide affordable counselling, which is based on income levels and sometimes even free (often with final year placement students etc).
Often it's a case of priorities and how people want to spend their money. I have encountered people who say they have no money for counselling but at the same time very obviously have money for acrylic nails and hair extentions. Sometimes it's about the choices we make.
A lot time ago, myself and 2 other friends were always "helping out" another friend when we went on vacation (paying for plane tickets, accommodations, etc) because she kept coming up short, but we noticed that she would have all these new clothes, gadgets, nails, hair, etc for the trip. So we stopped, guess what, she somehow managed to take trips with us without us paying her major expenses for the trip.
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