Why would I want to do that?

firef1y72

So I started this journey in November at 289.5lb (5'1" Female) and just over three months later 41lb down and at under 250lb people are starting to comment on my weight loss, on how well I'm doing, what diet am I following and that I should give low carb a try to lose even quicker.

Not sure how to answer them, for one thing low carb/high fat isn't an option for me, I don't have a gall bladder so I need to keep my fat intake under control. Plus I don't want/need to lose weight any faster, I'm currently averaging a stone a month, which is more than enough and probably won't continue much longer. And I don't want to ban any foods, I like having the occasional burger, the odd chocolate and rare piece of cake. Oh and I suffered from hyperemesis during 6 pregnancies (severe vomiting) and would be admitted to hospital when I went in to ketosis, hated the way my body was poisoning itself and can't imagine why anyone would deliberately put themselves in that state (unless there are life saving side effects as with severe epilepsy).

When I tell them that my "diet" is simply eat less/move more and that I recommend signing up to here and logging everything they eat (the simple act of logging the food helped me reduce my intake), then get a fitness tracker to motivate and encourage movement, they look at me as if I'm mad. Then when I tell them that I haven't banned any food, if it fits in with my calories for the day I eat it (and if it doesn't fit and I really want it then I'll do circuits of the house until it does fit), their jaws drop. But still they try to sell me the low carb/high fat diet, a 1200Calorie diet or whatever the latest fad is.

runningalice

First off congratulations!! The diet is obviously working! And i think just telling them that well this is working so im going to stick at it! I know its hard to get them to go away and i watch my friends doing it! I think saying that it is a lifestyle change not a diet and this is how you want to keep eating even when all the weight you want to loose is gone! But keep at it

earlnabby

In the immortal words of Asleep at the Wheel: "You've got to dance with who brung you". Congratulations on your loss, I bet you feel so much better! Just tell those nosy interfering people that you have found your "sweet spot" and you are going to stay with what works.

Probably not worth getting into with some people, but going low carb will not make you lose faster unless you reduce your calories even more with it. It is just a fad that comes and goes (this is the 3rd time low carb dieting has become a "thing" in my lifetime). As long as you are losing at a safe rate, feel good, and have the energy you need, there is no reason to try anything different.

jemhh

Great work so far! And welcome to the "smile and nod when people offer unsolicited diet advice" club. Many of us encounter the same types of comments and advice--I was once frantically waved down while jogging past a neighbor who I thought was having an emergency. Nope, he wanted to sell me some sort of weight loss shake. You learn to just let it go, let the comments slide off, etc. after a bit.

Maxematics

Congratulations on all of your progress! I'm glad you have such a healthy approach.

I've experienced the same instances as you where people are in disbelief that the ~*secret*~ to weight loss is eat less and/or move more. They do the same as I do, but don't lose weight so my metabolism is "fast". They "eat healthy" but can't lose. They don't have time to count calories because they have a busy life, so the implication is that my life is about nothing but weight loss. It's all thinly veiled insults so they don't have to take responsibility for the fact that they aren't as busy/active as they think and they also eat too much.

Low-carb diets are not necessary. The reason why people think you lose weight faster on a low-carb diet is because when you go low-carb your glycogen stores are depleted and you initially lose more water weight; it stabilizes in time. This is why after a week or two of going low-carb, people claim to "stall" since they aren't seeing the scale moving anymore or people claim that it doesn't work. Then when you reintroduce carbs to your diet, your glycogen stores are replenished. Many people who eat carbs again after a brief stint on a low-carb diet will then claim that they "gained all the weight back" or the low-carb diet simply doesn't work instead of realizing it's just some of that water weight coming right back.

Fad diets are a crock. This is why most people fail. If it's not sustainable for life, there's no point. People would argue that calorie counting for life isn't sustainable either, but it's really not that hard to track your food intake. Also, people can easily stop tracking their food and see how they do based on instinct for two weeks. If they gain weight, they can easily reassess their intake and adjust it. Calorie counting teaches you about portion control and after a while you become accustomed to what you should be eating on a daily basis.

vivelajackie

People don't want to believe that weightloss is achievable without jumping through hoops and spending loads on this diet and that diet. So they act weird and try to suggest other things. Just ignore them and keep being awesome. Congrats on your loss thus far.

Lucille4444

You know what works for you. I agree with jemhh, just smile and nod. Many who give advice are trying to help, (even though it isn't helpful if you've found a successful WOE) it doesn't hurt to just nod.

ziggy2006

I agree, people want becoming healthy to be complicated so that they have an excuse as to why they haven't achieved it. Smile, nod with a neutral "How fascinating. I'm so glad that is working for you.", and ignore.

AmazonMayan

I get the same thing. They are amazed at the noticeable loss then proceed to tell me I'm not going to lose weight counting calories. I just walk away lol.

lemonychild

U clearly have it figured out darling , if it ain't broke don't fix it. Ure doing the exact right thing, as u are going to live ur life like this forever not having to live on banning food left and right. I say keep at it and let the naysayers ...

tryasimighty

I would suspect these people may be carrying a few extra pounds themselves?! I agree that nobody wants to believe calories and exercise are the key to long term, sustainable weightloss... but it is and is clearly working for you! Very well done for making the change, keep it up!!

jennifer_417

Somehow the low carb craze has become so pervasive that people literally think you can't lose weight any other way. It's really gotten ridiculous.

MarziDeThrall

I think people notice this kind of thing much more when it pertains to weight loss because it's such a very personal battle. People (especially family members) are going to have an opinion about everything you do. Whether it's your diet, your hairstyle, how to finance your car, how to raise your kids, your choice in men/women, your career...what have you. I think giving advice is basically a conversation starter for some people. Like @jemhh said, you just have to smile and nod. Then change the subject as soon as they pause to take a breath, lol.

Bowsergirl

Congratulations on your weight loss!
This is really frustrating. The instructor of my anatomy and physiology class told me that I should stop calorie counting and start swapping out my foods for "healthier" versions. Everyone was agreeing with her. But I'm the one successfully losing weight (I'm down 35 pounds). Yeah it would be nice if I could get more vegetables into my diet, but eating white rice is not as detrimental to my health as everyone was saying it is.

booksandchocolate12

This is why I don't go into detail with people when they ask what I am doing to lose weight. If I don't tell them about some magic fat burning miracle, or overly restrictive VLCD, they are disinterested at best, or, at worst, tell me that what I'm doing doesn't work. So I started just giving really vague answers and then changing the subject:

"What are you doing to lose weight?"

"Oh, you know...this and that. Just being careful. Hey....is that a dinosaur?"

Eventually they stopped asking.

ilex70

Everyone has an opinion.

My spouse (I hope) has finally stopped trying to get me to do 5:2, which he kind of half does. Just last night he acted annoyed and said that he thought it was "too anal" that I was using a food scale to measure my dinner. But even he had to admit that "it's working".

So keep on, and just smile and nod.

Maxematics

ilex70 wrote: »

Everyone has an opinion.

My spouse (I hope) has finally stopped trying to get me to do 5:2, which he kind of half does. Just last night he acted annoyed and said that he thought it was "too anal" that I was using a food scale to measure my dinner. But even he had to admit that "it's working".

So keep on, and just smile and nod.

That's funny. The only thing 5:2 does is allows people to eat more five days of the week and the sacrifice is eating next to nothing for two of them. That seems more anal and a drastic measure that could easily be avoided by using a food scale and maintaining a decent deficit every day like you're doing. There is zero benefit of IF over your method.

firef1y72

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I think I'll just smile nicely and then carry on as I am, setting myself little challenges as I go (not always weight based). I won't be doing any fad diets, eating less, moving more and accountability seems to be what works for me.

dammitjanet0161

How rude that you've done so well and people are advising how to lose more!

Agree with all of the above, just ignore the "noise" and stick with what works for you.

WendyLaubach

I think people are just fascinated with weight loss and want to talk about it. If they have no idea what they're talking about, they're going to fill in with whatever they've been hearing, reading, or even wishing. Best to let it roll off our backs! I've certainly done enough of it myself in my time. No matter what they say, you don't have to take their advice, and you sure can't get them to take yours. (But it is extremely funny to receive lectures from people about the process that you are succeeding in and they are not.)

For those few people who will actually get pushy and ask impertinent questions, I recommend Miss Manners' all-purpose response, with a nice, neutral smile, "How soon do you need to know?"--or, in a severe case, "What an extraordinary question!" (repeated as necessary without letting the smile waver).

Lounmoun

You could perfectly honestly and seriously say that you have medical concerns that dictate your diet and you and your medical team are happy with your progress. Then change the subject.

earlnabby

firef1y72 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I think I'll just smile nicely and then carry on as I am, setting myself little challenges as I go (not always weight based). I won't be doing any fad diets, eating less, moving more and accountability seems to be what works for me.

Sounds like you have a handle on this. Just keep on keeping on.

suziecue20

Congratulations, you are doing so well. Just ignore the unsolicited advice and keep on doing what is working for you.

I was at a buffet do last week and when I was selecting my plateful of food the person next to me [who I knew] said 'you've lost a lot of weight' . I said yes, 2 & 1/2 stone so far and another one to lose. She then looked at my plate and said 'but you're not dieting today'. I said of course I am, I will just have a small healthy dinner and still be inside my calorie limit for the day. She said 'I've been on a lot of different diets but never done calories to lose weight'. I just smiled and said 'ah' then turned away so she wouldn't see me laughing.

melonaulait

You seem to be doing fine! There are always people who give that kind of advice. It happens to me too, in fact my boyfriend has asked me on a couple occasions why I don't give low carb/keto a try to lose ""faster"" (I, for one, don't want to eat my plant-based diet low carb), and just last weekend he told me I could stick to my calorie goals better if I ate the same food every single day for a year... FOR A YEAR!! I forgive him, even if it's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. (I don't doubt it could work for somebody, but it's not very thoughtful advice imo)

Psychgrrl

Because we're conditioned to believe that only extreme diet and exercise will result in weight loss. If you're not depriving yourself and exhausting yourself--you're not doin' it right. Welcome to the tribe!

Personally, I just smile as they go on and hum song lyrics in my head, "Just mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGIUtLO_x8g

kristen6350

We as a society are conditioned to think "fast is best". When weight loss is concerned, fast isn't always best. Do what works for you and tell everyone else to mind their own beeswax...LOL

My Mom has been a life long dieter. She believes that if she's not dropping a ton each week it's not working, she gets frusterated and asks what she's doing wrong. I ask her why is being a little lighter each week "wrong"? It's because her whole life she's gained and lost, gained and lost. Well, she's now in her early 60's and she doesn't lose it as fast as she once did. I always tell her it's not like there's an end date. Or when you hit goal all your problems go away and you never have to worry again. Even for people in maintanance like myself, every day is a struggle. You just hope you have learned something from your journey and you stick with it. The goal to this whole thing is to find something you can stick with for life.

I see you have found the secret that a lot of us know, and I hope you keep on keepin' on...Great job!

kshama2001

firef1y72 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I think I'll just smile nicely and then carry on as I am, setting myself little challenges as I go (not always weight based). I won't be doing any fad diets, eating less, moving more and accountability seems to be what works for me.

Yes, if anyone continues to be annoying, whip out the Authority card:

Lounmoun wrote: »

You could perfectly honestly and seriously say that you have medical concerns that dictate your diet and you and your medical team are happy with your progress. Then change the subject.

Panda_brat

Just ignore all the fad ideas given to you, and keep doing what you are doing. Keep up the great work. A very high percentage of successful people here have been told what worked for then is wrong and we still need to follow so stupid shctick.

Duchy82

Opinions are like noses, everybody has one, just smile and nod and carry on as you are. What you are doing is clearly working for you that is the only thing that matters

booksandchocolate12

Here's a scenario that I'd like to see:

Random Person: Hey, I see you've lost a lot of weight. How are you doing it?
You: Counting calories on MFP.
Them: *scoffs* That doesn't work! You should try this new diet where you [insert latest fad here].
(Some time later, you're even thinner and they look the same, or are heavier)
Them: Looks like you've lost more weight. Did you try that [fad] diet I recommended?
You: No. I just decided to stick with what I know and kept counting calories. Did you try that [fad} diet?
Them: Yes.
You: Hmm. Interesting.