Slow Does Not Equal Failure

Razzyirt

I have been lurking around on the forums, and tracking my intake for the past 65 days now.

I've seen a number of trends, and fallen victim to some of them myself. And, this is not my first rodeo. I have tried to lose weight a few times now...and every time, I gave up and went back to my old habits. And every time, I saw myself as "starting over". A few pointers for those starting out...

1) There is no "starting over"

This is life. Get used to it.

There is no point in doing something that you can't maintain. Juicing. Fasting. Eating pizza all day long. If you can't maintain it FOREVER, then it's not worth doing.

You have to look at this as a lifestyle change. And it's not something you can quit, start over, or what have you.

2) There's no such thing as failure

I ate 3 slices of pizza and a chocolate chip cookie for supper tonight. And I've felt like a total failure since. I went over my calories for today by 500.

As I felt like crap about my "failure" I was perusing through my food diary...and noticed a trend. I end super low calories for 2-5 days, and then binge eat because I'm starving for about 2 days, beat myself up...and start over.

How had I never noticed this before???

It's because, in the past, when I ate "bad" and totally blew my calorie limit...I just gave up. I felt like, what was the point, as I failed anyway. And it was never going to work, so I may as well eat what I want.

And I tied my self worth to my intake for the day...which leads to point 3

3) Calories are NOT King

I know, many will argue with me on this point...but I don't think your entire life can be ruled by calories. Because, when you get too obsessed about every. Single. Calorie...you end up with a disordered eating pattern.

Or at least, some personalities do (like me!!!). Because then my entire self worth gets tied up in whether or not I ate the right thing, in the right amounts.

It's a lifestyle. You can't spend your entire life obsessing over every piece of food. Some days will be good, some will be bad.

4) Weight loss can suck

And it will fluctuate. And it can take a toll on one's self esteem. I have "lost" the same 5lbs more times than I can count. It has yo-yo'd around all over the place so far. And I'm not quite sure at this point how much I've actually lost.

So, just a few tips and tricks I've put together for myself...as, in the past week, I have completely over eaten. Binged in fact. And struggled. And wanted to quit. And beat myself up. And skipped exercising. And done probably everything wrong.

And yet...this time, I'm not quitting. Because...there's no such thing as failure

tomteboda

It sounds like you've got your head in the game this time. Best wishes! I have one more to add for you though.. Your value as a person is NOT your weight!

Razzyirt

Thanks! And I agree...that's a good one (and one I can struggle with at times!)

Another one I was just thinking about (and maybe other people out there struggle with this as well). I gained weight due to a medical issue. Actually, I had horrific luck and got hit by about a dozen nasty medical conditions in a row. And it really took a toll on me. And I struggled with depression after about everything. And the "why me" mentality. Especially because it happened to me young. I also know that weight loss will be hard for me, because I have several diseases that make food a real b*tch.

And I think this was the hardest part for me...getting past the "excuses". Yes, life was not fair to me. Still isn't. Yes, weight loss and getting into any sort of shape will be hard and take a long time. And no, I probably will never go back to the old me (who ran competitively, was in great shape, loved exercise, you name it). But...does that mean I just give up?

incisron

❤ I needed this.

Razzyirt wrote: »

I have been lurking around on the forums, and tracking my intake for the past 65 days now.

I've seen a number of trends, and fallen victim to some of them myself. And, this is not my first rodeo. I have tried to lose weight a few times now...and every time, I gave up and went back to my old habits. And every time, I saw myself as "starting over". A few pointers for those starting out...

1) There is no "starting over"

This is life. Get used to it.

There is no point in doing something that you can't maintain. Juicing. Fasting. Eating pizza all day long. If you can't maintain it FOREVER, then it's not worth doing.

You have to look at this as a lifestyle change. And it's not something you can quit, start over, or what have you.

2) There's no such thing as failure

I ate 3 slices of pizza and a chocolate chip cookie for supper tonight. And I've felt like a total failure since. I went over my calories for today by 500.

As I felt like crap about my "failure" I was perusing through my food diary...and noticed a trend. I end super low calories for 2-5 days, and then binge eat because I'm starving for about 2 days, beat myself up...and start over.

How had I never noticed this before???

It's because, in the past, when I ate "bad" and totally blew my calorie limit...I just gave up. I felt like, what was the point, as I failed anyway. And it was never going to work, so I may as well eat what I want.

And I tied my self worth to my intake for the day...which leads to point 3

3) Calories are NOT King

I know, many will argue with me on this point...but I don't think your entire life can be ruled by calories. Because, when you get too obsessed about every. Single. Calorie...you end up with a disordered eating pattern.

Or at least, some personalities do (like me!!!). Because then my entire self worth gets tied up in whether or not I ate the right thing, in the right amounts.

It's a lifestyle. You can't spend your entire life obsessing over every piece of food. Some days will be good, some will be bad.

4) Weight loss can suck

And it will fluctuate. And it can take a toll on one's self esteem. I have "lost" the same 5lbs more times than I can count. It has yo-yo'd around all over the place so far. And I'm not quite sure at this point how much I've actually lost.

So, just a few tips and tricks I've put together for myself...as, in the past week, I have completely over eaten. Binged in fact. And struggled. And wanted to quit. And beat myself up. And skipped exercising. And done probably everything wrong.

And yet...this time, I'm not quitting. Because...there's no such thing as failure

soulofgrace

It sounds like you are definitely having some revelations, and I agree, this is life and you just keep going no matter what happens. And you're also right, I have to argue with your thinking "calorie is not king." That fact doesnt change because you have a tendency to become obsessed over every morsel or that you tend to tie self worth to food choices. The calorie still remains the primary concern in weightloss and you just continue to do your best at what works for you. I have to commend you, I think it is very healthy thinking on your part that you've decided that slow does not equal failure. This is my life too and last Friday I had a delicious steak dinner, wine and an ice cream brownie dessert. Last night I had king crab for dinner and a cup cake for dessert. I have lost 30+ lbs since June by monitoring my intake, and will be darned if I am going to feel bad about enjoying myself. Thanks for your thoughta and best wishes to you!

Razzyirt

Lol, I should probably re-phrase my calories as King argument

I have no argument that the calorie is the primary reason for weight loss (and I think the biggest problem in general, is most people just don't know how much they are truly eating). I think I more take issue with the calorie "being" King in life, as in the only thing you focus on. There's other, very important aspects, not just how many calories you eat.

Measure success by how your clothes fit. Successes in fitness.

I just know, for me, that focusing too much on the calories is where I get in trouble (but, definitely my personality!) And just want people to know it's ok to not count every single calorie and still do ok (just, don't forget to count the hundreds of calories, lol!)

middlehaitch

For you personally, at this point in your weight loss, counting the hundreds and not worrying about the tens may be working. But for all those people who are stalling, or are 5-10-15 lbs from goal, it is the tens that can make or break their loss or gain.

MFP is a great set of training wheels. The better you use it, and fully understand food calories and portions, the sooner you may be able to freewheel it when in maintenance. JMHO

CHeers, h.

ClosetBayesian

Well, I for one think pizza 3x/day is completely delightfully sustainable

But I understand your point.