Tips from emotional eaters please?!

spritey86

Hey fellow cc'ers

I have been calorie counting (this time) for a little over a year and lost a whopping 90lbs so far. I lost most of it before September, then i had a string of bad luck with my health but generally ended up maintaining until recently. I have been back at the gym and staying well on target with calories.

Last night, I broke up with my fiance who i was with for 7 years. It is a painful time and I feel the need to eat stupid amounts in a hope that it will make me feel a bit better/happier (though i know for a fact it will not). I fear this will continue through all the aftermath - splitting assets, selling home etc.

Anybody got any advice for me to keep me falling off the wagon all together?

Angelfire365

Don't know if it will help any, but:

Some time back I was fighting with myself to swing by Dairy Queen on my way home. You know that voice; It's been a *kitten* day and I need ice cream. The two voices were bickering back and forth as I hit the high way until I told myself, "I deserve Ice Cream!". And the other half screamed back, "I DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY!!"

It doesn't work all the time, but usually I can deter myself with that mantra. I deserve to be healthy.

ManiacalLaugh

Wow - that's a big hurdle to handle.

My first piece of advise would be to go easy on yourself. You have a lot going on, emotionally speaking, and your stress level has probably skyrocketed. If you do fall off the wagon, beating yourself up about it will not make anything better.

With this in mind, I would just make it a point to continue to log everything. if you have an emotional binge - log it. Be honest with yourself, and this will not only help you keep track of yourself during this time, but will also help in keeping yourself accountable. Even if you do fall off the wagon big time, you'll still have this habit in place, and that will also help you get back to normality quickly.

To help, I would avoid trigger foods at all cost (if you have them). If you had something you've been able to snack on before as a treat, you might consider getting rid of it, if you feel like this is something you could go overboard with.

kshama2001

I always join a gym after a breakup and keep generating an exercise high to counter the breakup low.

It's normal to want to wallow with wine or Ben & Jerry's, but try forcing yourself to the gym instead.

blobby10

spritey86 - I am going through something similar as last summer my husband of 21 years and I separated and are now starting the divorce process. Although its all amicable and no one else is involved for either of us, we were also moving house and my eldest son was joining the forces and leaving home so the last few months have been very difficult and I spent the first 6 months after our separation sobbing whenever I was alone whilst stuffing my face with large quantities of chocolate, biscuits and sweets! Thanks to many of the lovely people on MFP I managed not to be too hard on myself and am now back on track with my eating.

I guess what I'm trying to say is yes, try and keep to healthy choices but DONT be too hard on yourself when you stuff your face in the vain attempt that you will feel better!! I do second the poster who advocated exercise - even taking a walk of a mile or so will help to break a pattern of destructive eating even if only for a short while!

Take care of yourself

B xx

kthompson601

First off, let me say I'm really sorry about your breakup. That is a really difficult and painful incident, and I wish you the best in recovering.

That said, you will probably slip up and do some emotional eating right now. In some ways, that's pretty understandable and maybe even okay, for the short term. But if you have a problem with emotional eating and binge eating, then it will understandably make you nervous.

My advice would be this: Keep the long game in mind. You've lost 90 pounds, which is phenomenal. You won't gain 90 pounds back after bingeing a little. You gain weight by going back to that forever. You are in this for the long haul. You are going to make mistakes. The key is to keep trying. If you have a binge, record it in your calories, reflect on how much you overate, and try better with the very next meal. Do not lose heart. You have had incredible success, and your journey continues. Now might be a rough patch, but every meal is a chance to start again, to make the right decision. Don't beat yourself up for your mistakes--log them, acknowledge them, and move on to the next meal.

I would also suggest that you rally the wagons. This is going to be a painful process, and you are going to need allies. If you have family and friends who can support you, now is the time to call on them. Maybe you just need someone to talk to, maybe you want to go for walks with someone, maybe you want someone to help you keep on track with your eating and exercise. A support system is crucial. I'd also suggest counseling, just a short-term visit with a therapist, while you go through this major change in life. A good therapist can be invaluable and can help you sort through your emotions in a healthier way than diving down into a pint of ice cream.

I wish you lots of luck! Congrats on your weight loss so far, and good luck on your journey. You are strong enough to get past this hurdle. It is going to hurt and you are going to make mistakes--but you are a strong woman, and you can do it.

spritey86

Thank you so much for your kind replies guys. I have taken it all on board (including advise to log not hide my indulgences). I guess I do need to relax a bit. There is enough going on in my mind to worry too much about my diet. I know keeping up the exercise is going to help. It has always helped me to deal with stress, so although i just want to hide from the world right now, I will get my exercise in as I did before Monday.

Angelfire - Yes! I use that one a lot. The internal argument gets intense but we do DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY
Maniacal - yesterdays pizza and chocolate logged... and to be avoided from now on...
Ksharma - Gym session later and fitbit back on my wrist... bring it on (thanks for the kitty hug)
Blobby - sounds like a horrific time of separation for you. Congratulations on getting back on track!
kthompson - thank you for your kind words and for reminding me how far i have come and that it doesn't all come back in a day. It is easy to forget that bit.

Thank you again

Savanna2015mfp

So sorry to hear this sad news..hang in there..